Monday, 19 June 2017

Why Festivals Might Not Be For Me

Firstly, how I got to 41 without going to a music festival is beyond me, I probably should have spent some of my teens and twenties going to music festivals, but I didn't. Which is why now, after going to my first music festival, it is time to realise that perhaps music festivals may not be for me.

Don't get me wrong, I had a fantastic time. I went to Let's Rock Leeds and I saw some of the people I missed the first time around, like, Dr & The Medics, Tony Hadley, Kid Creole and The Coconuts and Human League and they were fab.

But I need my creature comforts, CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE TOILETS??? Every time I needed the loo, (Quite often, I have the bladder of a toddler) I wanted to cry. The words CESS PIT were muttered under my breath more times than when I walk into my teenagers bedroom, the smell. OH MY GOD, the smell! Is that normal? Why is it normal?

Is this why people drink? So they don't have to smell the portaloos?

Flags against blue sky

The weather was fantastic, I have never experienced weather like it, so so so hot, the kind of day you want to either hide away and eat ice cream or be out with friends and eat ice cream, UNLESS, like me, you are concerned about the sun safety of others. I managed to burn one arm, (I'm a twat, but I'm a safe twat) but some people were topless or wearing bikini tops and I was flinching as they walked past, it looked like a Lobster convention where the beer was cold and in plentiful supply, (If you didn't mind queuing for an hour)

I kept flinching at people and thinking, "They are going to feel that in the morning"

Mum Mode Level 10.

I also don't like crowds, so we sat on the grass, well out of the way, high on the hill to get a great view of the stage and listen to the music.

Music stage

Which is great at first, until another 10,000 people descend on Temple Newsam and pretty much all of them decide to sit in front of you/beside you/on you. 

It was at this point I wondered who I should have sold my soul to, to upgrade to the VIP section. 

They had posh loos, at this point, I would have sold everything I own, just to get access to the posh loos. 

red head wearing face paint

Face paint helped. Face paint always helps, right?

Slush puppies helped, but then, Slush puppies always help too.

I have come to the conclusion that festivals are perhaps not for me, unless I get either A, A VIP pass, or B, a posh loo pass.

There is no shame in admitting that perhaps festivals are not my thing, I had a great day out with my husband, but would I do it again?

I'm not sure.

How about you? Are you a festival fan? Do the toilets always smell that way? And where does one get one of those inflatable things you lay in? They looked fab.

Let me know.


Tuesday, 6 June 2017

Be At One Leeds, Cocktails

You all know that I bloody LOVE a good cocktail so when I was invited to the opening of the new Be At One on Boar Lane in Leeds, I accepted my invite quicker than I would accept an invite to get naked with Tom Hardy.

If you've never been to a Be At One before, think cocktails, with some more cocktails, and thrown in for good measure, MORE COCKTAILS.

From Oxford St, Kings Cross, Nottingham to Bristol, Be At Ones are springing up everywhere and bringing you beautiful bars with cocktails you may never have tried before.

We had a cocktail tasting and got to sample a lot of the cocktails, (although I did take umbrage in having to share each cocktail with 5 other people, don't ask, I wasn't impressed)  and I found a lot of cocktails that I probably never would have chosen for myself but would now ask for by name.  ANYONE that names a cocktail a Jager Mega Drive is ok by me.

This Sherbet cocktail was one of my absolute faves.

Cocktail glass

We got a lot of background into the bars as well as the thought that goes into each cocktail, I do love on the menu it gives you a helping hand in what to choose by giving you a wheel of choices and tastes to help you narrow it down a bit. If you want something creamy, it lists them all in one place rather than you getting confused and ending up drinking the same one each time. It encourages you to try something new.

Cocktail with popcorn in it

The taste masterclass was great but for me, the real test was when they turned up the music and let the evening run as if it was a normal evening with all of being able to order a drink. The atmosphere was great, as you can see, there was dancing on the bar and everything, FAB. 

Bar staff at Be At One dancing on bar

I'll definitely be going back to Be At One to try some more cocktails, there is a Be At One somewhere with an Irish Disco Biscuit just waiting to be drank.

Have you been to a Be At One, before? Let me know what your favourite cocktail from there is.


Monday, 5 June 2017

Hard skin remover for feet? How A-peeling!

Firstly, let me apologies for the pictures of feet, let me apologise for the pictures of dead skin and let me just apologise, full stop. I was never going to blog about this so I don't really have any artfully posed pictures of feel covered in rose petals or Rose Gold nail polish on my toe nails. I'm shit, what can I say, I'm a busy working woman who cannot even find a cat to put my feet on to get an Instagram worthy shot at the moment. (I will turn in my blogger card at the door, Im a fucking disgrace) 

HOWEVER, what I can tell you, is that I am wearing sandals, at least I think I am, when I look down I just see boobs, Its a great view, trust me. I am wearing sandals and my feet are in my opinion, OK. which is a HUGE step for me from thinking that my feet are absolutely vile and I hate them, Urgh feet. 

So here follows the story of me using one of the feet peeling foot masks to try to remove dead skin from my feet which pretty much nothing was ever going to remove. 

Firstly, it puts the feet in the bag (Please read that in a Silence Of The Lambs tone or it just doesn't work) 

Oh hang on, see i told you i was a terrible blogger lately, HERE is the foot peel that I purchased, I got it from Amazon, I am sure there are other stockists available but I am lazy, and I have the app. Soz.

Buy it, its fab. (Do I actually need to continue with this now? Are you all just here for the pictures of peeling feet? YOU ARE, AREN'T YOU? YOU MONSTERS) 

So I put my feet in the bags, planning to sit on the sofa and not move for the 90 minutes it told me to wear them, 2 minutes in and i needed a wee, the phone rang, my youngest wanted help putting on a hat or something equally ridiculous and I had left my phone on the other side of the room. SIGH. 

So I can assure you, you can walk around while wearing the bags on your feet, you look like an absolute KNOB whilst doing so, and you are constantly in fear that you will fall over, but you can walk around. 

after the time has elapsed, you take the plastic bags off, they call them socks but  assure you, it is like tying Asda bags around your feet, and then you wait, you wait and you wait and you wait some more just like at a red traffic light that you start to assume MUST be broken and then just as you forget you did it, you take off your socks at the end of a long day and your sock resembles some sort of freakish snow globe that has malfunctioned. Skin everywhere, 

And thats when it starts to get FUN. My name is Kellie Dawson and I have an addiction to peeling skin off my feet. 

Dear God, the satisfaction I got from peeling my feet was almost sexual. I am not even sorry, t was all I could think about. I was sticking my feet in the bath as many times as I could get away with just to loosen more skin so that I could peel it off in sheets. Some people wonder when they can slip off for a crafty wank, all I could think about was when I could next peel skin off my feet. it was intoxicating, addicting, I kept waving my feet in front of my husband going look at my gross feet, aren't they gross? 

I never realised how grey my feet were until the pink started showing through, and then I just wanted to see more, if I could have peeled down to the bone, i genuinely think that I would have done so. I just couldn't stop. It was amazing. 

All of the hard skin came off the balls of my feet and across. I peeled in places that I didn't even realise I had hard skin, I PRACTICALLY DEGLOVED A TOE AND I LIKED IT. 

but then, as always, good things must come to an end, I ran out of skin to peel, my feet were baby soft and pink. (I must add that my poor feet were sore for a couple of days, not unbearably but it does make you wonder if we do need a bit of hard skin to protect our poor feetsies) 

It has been a good couple of weeks since I last used the foot peel and I can't lie, I want to do it again, but I want to let the hard skin build up a bit again so that it is not a disappointment in comparison to last time. I'm gross aren't I? This is why I don't often do reviews, I am too honest. 

Do I recommend using a foot peel? FUCK YES, it is disgustingly brilliant and I loved every moment. 

Do I recommend YOU use one? 

Only if I can come and help you peel your feet. 

What do you think? Have you ever used a foot peel? Have I put you off for life or are you now furiously scouring the internet to find one. Let me know in the comments


Sunday, 14 May 2017

What I have learnt in my first year of marriage

So today is my first wedding anniversary. My husband and I (I do love saying that) have now experienced one year of blissful marriage.

What have I learnt in my first year of marriage?

Absolutely nothing that I didn't already know. 

I knew from the minute I first laid eyes on him, that I wanted to be with this man forever.

I knew that we were perfect for each other.

I knew that, despite the fact that when we we first met, I lived in London and he lived in Leeds, we were going to make it work.

and I knew that neither of us had ever experienced love or a relationship like this before.

Our wedding was perfect, well, apart from my husband falling victim to a bug that both my daughter and I had the week before the wedding. He spent the night before and the morning of the wedding being extremely ill. Poor guy, he didn't eat any of the wedding breakfast, in fact he didn't eat anything for about three days after the wedding either, thats how sick he was.

It was so great to see my London family and friends mixing with all the friends I have made in Yorkshire. Both sides really enjoyed meeting each other and some great friendships were created on that day.

Quite possibly, my wedding day was my favourite day of my life.

Do you want to see some pictures?

I've never shared these ones before, so I hope you enjoy.

wedding table

We got married on Eurovision so what else could our theme be but music?

black and white groomsmen picture

 Men doing mens stuff.

black and white back of wedding dress

I absolutely loved my dress and I knew I really wanted a train, it hitched up in the evening but LOOK AT IT.

wedding picture

 One of my best friends, Katy, fixing my veil after it came off.

Look, it is the beautiful Lynnette Peck, not only did I marry a man I met on twitter but I have made some friends via twitter that I consider friends for life.

shoes painted with music notes and flowers

 My husband handprinted these shoes as a wedding gift for me. Musical theme and the colour matches my hair and the colour scheme. These shoes were actually white, he changed the colour to look like music paper. How clever is he?

seating plan

 Yes, we had our own logo. The perks of marrying a graphic designer. He created everything.

two hands wearing wedding rings
My father died many years ago, so my brother gave me away, but the charm bracelet wrapped around my bouquet was a gift from my dad to my mum so it felt like he was there too.

group shot of bride groom and family celebrating

Family, every single person who came to celebrate our big day with us. We are so pleased and proud to have been surrounded by people who love and support us. Whether they travelled from miles away or from close by, we were touched by everyones best wishes and love on the day and ever since.

I had the best wedding day and today we are celebrating our first anniversary as a family.

Have a great day, I hope you love the pictures as much as I enjoyed the day.


Wednesday, 10 May 2017

Dove Body Wash, Body Positivity or Marketing Ploy?

Ok, can we talk about this?

Let me repeat the crap that Dove are spouting line that Dove are taking with this

"Each bottle evokes the shapes, sizes, curves and edges that combine to make every woman their very own limited edition,"


Show me, as a plus size woman where I asked for a gimmick designed by a company that doesn't always have the best track record on body positivity. 

Show me, WHY we need this? 

I wish companies such as Dove would stick to making products FOR my skin instead of trying to get UNDER our skin. This faux concern for me as a person and how I feel about myself is just getting annoying now. Let's not forget, Dove have been pretty hit and miss with their campaigns in the past, and whilst I would much rather companies do acknowledge body positivity, I am starting to feel as if Dove are now targeting Body Positivity as a selling point and just using it to sell more bottles. 

Other questions I have about the new Dove bottles.

What happens if I use the wrong bottle? 

Will there be changing rooms added into Superdrug and Boots so I can try the new bottles on? 

Can I share a bottle of this with someone who has a different body shape or would they be better off buying their own bottle? 

Are we meant to collect all the different shapes as if they are some kind of freaky Pop Vinyls?

And my most burning question for the Dove Marketing team, 

Would you not have been more Body Positive if you DIDN'T separate bottles into different shapes, and instead made one bottle with the tag line, ONE SIZE FITS ALL? 

Surely thats Body Positivity? 

Let me know. 


Tuesday, 9 May 2017

Spring/Summer Transition With Chums

Yes, I know we are barely into Spring but trust me, you will blink and before you know it, it will be 90 degrees and you will be sweating like Jimmy Carr in his accountants office.

So my friends at Chums have created a handy infographic to help you sort out your S/S style.

Now I REFUSE to tell you what you can and cannot wear. If you like it, WEAR IT, I don't care whether the RULES tell you that you shouldn't wear something, WE DO NOT PLAY THAT WAY. You want to wear the front fastening bra from chums the horizontal stripes, the tight fitting jeans? WEAR THEM. As the infographic says, 53% of respondents don't bother to follow fashion trends, and I want these people to be my friends. Who needs to follow the RULES?

My main tip for the Spring/Summer transition?

Wear what makes you HAPPY.

Don't you agree?

Let me know your thoughts.

*This post created in conjunction with Chums.


Monday, 8 May 2017

Announcing the death of the unicorn

I am sorry to announce that at 12.01, on the 8th of May, the Unicorn was finally declared to be deceased.

The unicorn is no more.
It is an ex-unicorn.
It has ceased to be
It rests in peace.

The Unicorn died from a condition called, PUTTING IT ON BLOODY EVERYTHING.

Unicorn brushes, Unicorn doughnuts, Unicorn nails, Unicorn Frappe,

Unicorn fucking toast. TOAST? FUCKING TOAST? Are you shitting me? (and is it unicorn shit?) 

Don't get me wrong, I bloody love unicorns, but let's get real here. (unlike the goddamn unicorns) we have a habit of taking something and just RUINING IT.

We overdo it, we stick it everywhere until we are sick of it, and then we move onto the next thing and just suck that dry too.

Mermaids, they are COMING FOR YOU.


Do you know how I know the Unicorn craze is over?

Let me introduce you to the Unicorn Dildo...........
(Never thought I would type that, if i'm honest)

You know where you can stick that............................

Personally, I still love the unicorn trend, but I wish it was used more sparingly. STOP putting it EVERYWHERE. I beg you.

And leave the Flamingoes alone. Seriously, I don't even want to think about a Flamingo Dildo.

Do you?

Let me know your thoughts on these trends, Is the Unicorn dead? Is the Flamingo endangered?

Let me know.

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