Friday, 31 October 2014

Nom or Vom



Yet another Nom or Vom for you to "feast" your eyes upon. This one is more mature than the previous ones and has somewhat of a reputation as a ladykiller. 

His previous conquests state that at least he never spent too much time in front of the mirror, but he is definitely not one to have any sympathy when you are on your period. (Please insert your own smutty joke here) 




Dracula? 

Nom or Vom? 

Let me know.

Big Fashionista x x x 

Nom or Vom



The loner type, this Nom or Vom candidate does not play well with others, well, anyone really. 

Strong, silent and very much an alpha male is THIS Nom or Vom for you? 



Jason Vorhees, Nom or Vom?

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x 

Pinterest is ruining my life

That might seem like a bold statement but listen up people. 

STOP IT with the perfect pumpkins. While I am struggling with getting square teeth, some people out there are carving a representation of Mona Lisa into pumpkins, creating miniature pieces of orange art and putting WORDS on pumpkins!!! 




I'm still struggling with making the eyes even and I'm faced with people sharing their pumpkins with faces IN?

I cannot compete. 

I refuse to compete.

What happened to pumpkins that were awful? When did pumpkin art become a THING? 

Stop looking at Pinterest and watching YouTube tutorials on how to carve the perfect pumpkin. 

What is wrong with a misshapen pumpkin that is only scary because of how awful it is carved? 

I miss retro pumpkins.it isn't a sodding competition.

BRING BACK BORING PUMPKINS I SAY. 

Purely because I can't carve good ones. 

Pssssst, anyone got a link to a good pumpkin carving site? 


What do you think? Has pumpkin art gone too far? Or do you enjoy getting creative?

Let me know


Big Fashionista x x x

Nom or Vom


This weeks Nom or Vom is an oldie, but a goody, or baddy. Depending on what rocks your boat. 

Some say serial killer, others say he just wants to be loved, all I will say is, don't let him finger you. 



This weeks Nom or Vom?

Freddie Krueger.

Let me know

Tuesday, 28 October 2014

Organising my life with a Filofax

I cannot stand here and look you all in the eyes and say that I am the most organised person in the world. I'm not. 

I'm not even the second, or third.... Oh sod it, MY NAME IS KELLIE AND I AM AN UNORGANISED PERSON. 

I am the person scrambling around on the morning of an event because I forgot,  I am the person sending my children into school in school uniform because I forgot it was a non-uniform day. I am not organised. 

Until now. 

The very lovely people at Viking Direct very kindly have sent me out a beautiful Filofax to help me get organised. 

Look at it, isn't it all shiny and beautiful? 


Glossy. 

With this Filofax I FULLY intend to get my life organised. I want to have a section for blogging, a section for children and a section for work. This Filofax is going to SAVE me from disorganisation and help me become a better person. 


I have lined paper in it. That can only be a good thing, right? I can scribble my musings in it, scribble down telephone numbers and draw little pictures when I am on a call. 

I have sections marked 1,2,3,4,5,6


That is six sections that I can fill with six different things, and I can buy MORE inserts, because that is what Filofax's are for. Filling with stuff to make me organised. 

My Filofax came from Viking Direct, you too can be as organised as me by going to http://www.viking-direct.co.uk and looking for a brand new organisational took such as a Filofax. 

Mine is going to definitely help me become a LOT more organised. 







When I remember where I bloody well put it!!!!!!!!! 



Big Fashionista x x x

Monday, 27 October 2014

Food Pets, Bob and Me



I am the proud owner of an 8yr old small person. (Well, I say owner, I think it is the other way around really, I'm definite that she thinks I am "staff")

8yr olds are funny, they can come out with the most amusing statements and then in their next breath, refuse to wear clothes and decide to hack off their own hair with a blunt knife. 

Such fun. 

MY 8 year old, currently is obsessed with food pets. Now, I'm not talking about sticking a face on a tin of beans and talking to it occasionally, it runs MUCH deeper than that. 

First there was Bob the pumpkin. A couple of years ago she developed an attachment to a pumpkin that had been carved with a face and decided that he was her friend. 

Cue MUCH, MUCH screaming when Bob started to smell a bit and well, rot. This is when the teenage child decided to chip in and say that no-one threw away her brother and he smells. Cue more screaming. (this may have been me)

There was also an attempt by the 8yr old to run away with Bob to save his life. This was a short attempt that only lasted as long as it took to realise that I wasn't running away with them and she would have to carry Bob herself. (It is the thought that counts, right?)


See ya Bob. 

One binned food pet and no more was ever said about it. 

Until this October when I purchased a Watermelon. Small child has grown a bit, she is also a little more wily. I didn't think anything about the watermelon for a day or two until I decided we should eat it for dessert one evening. 


No Watermelon was to be found.

but there was one SHIFTY looking 8 yr old. 


"Where is the watermelon, S?"

"You mean Bob?'



FUCK.



"It is our dessert"


"It is my friend"



FUCK



"Where is it?"


"Watching TV in my room, Why?"



FUCK


"Can you bring him..... I mean, it, down here please"


"No"


Two days passed. Bob even came to parent evening with us. (In a buggy) The teenagers began to prowl around Bob, I mean the watermelon, with the look of hungry coyotes eyeing up a steak. These are the teenagers that usually think that fruit should only be served in juice form or as a topping on a pizza, and now they are discussing how watermelon is a vital source of vitamins and an essential part of their 5 a day. 

The 8 yr old had an emergency bag by the front door and kept threatening the teenagers with harm to their favourite things if they so much as breathed in Bob's direction. 

FUN TIMES. 


And then, it is with sorrow that I have to report on the demise of Bob. He was left in the kitchen for more than ten minutes unsupervised, the kitchen with all the sharp knives, and where teenagers come to feed after dark. 

One of the teens cracked and gently slid a knife into Bob, they stopped, because the guilt got too much, but by then it was too late. 

Ever told an 8yr old that you cannot stitch up a watermelon? Or use bandages?

Oh I have. and it is NOT FUN. 

although she did agree that cutting up Bob and sharing him is what he would have wanted us to do. 

After we gave him the face he had always needed, OBVIOUSLY.



I swore there and then that there would be no more food pets. 

NOT ONE. 

And then Halloween rolled round. 


Meet Bob. 




This is going to get messy isn't it?


Help me. 

Any advice?


Let me know.


Big Fashionista x x x



Sunday, 26 October 2014

I'm all about the socks, no trouble



The one thing that I didn’t realize, moving from London to Yorkshire, is that I would enjoy walking quite as much as I do. 

In the year that I have been here, I am proud to say that I have already worn out one pair of walking boots and the second pair are starting to feel a little sorry for themselves. What can I say, when I walk, I like to WALK. I have a thing for ruins and Yorkshire seems to be full of Abbeys that are not quite in their original condition. Fountain Abbey, Kirkstall Abbey, Bolton Abbey. All fabulous places set in beautiful countryside that you can just walk for ages. Malham Cove is also a favourite place of mine to visit with spectacular views. 

The one thing I learnt, FAST, is that you can have the best boots with the most waterproof of waterproofing but if you are wearing the wrong socks then, you aren’t going to be seeing the beautiful scenery, instead you are going to be crying on a tree stump somewhere, saying that you cannot walk another step and frightened that when you take off your boots they are going to be filled with blood. Yes, I’m a Drama Queen, no, my boots were not filled with blood.  (although it felt like it) 

Trainer socks with hiking boots, 

ROOKIE ERROR. 

You NEED thick socks, (May I also recommend that when you buy your boots, you take with you a pair of thick socks to try on with the boots to make sure they fit correctly. The boots, not the socks) 


A great place that you can buy socks is Tesco Direct!!!  I know, it seems strange choosing your walking socks online but I find you get a wider choice, plus I love buying things from the comfort of my own home. 









High quality, WARM, and best of all, no boots full of blood. Everyone is a winner. 
If you enjoy walking, check out Tesco Direct here -> Walking socks for their lovely warm socks. They do children's ones too, let me know what you think. 

And if you have any Yorkshire walking recommendations, leave me a comment below. 


Big Fashionista x x x 


*post created in conjunction with Tesco Direct, words are all my own.