Monday, 28 June 2010

Diet tips

So the sun is shining and the first time you go to put on something cool and maybe a bot more revealing than you have worn all winter you realise that you are still carrying your winter weight. (personally i'm still carrying puppy fat-my mum swore I would grow out of it!!!)
So you begin on that fabulous merry-go-round of life which is otherwise known as a diet.

I hate diets, they bore me to (hunger) death, and to be honest, i'm not that good at them. But I thought I would share with you some diet tips I have gathered over the years.

(Disclaimer; If you use these diet tips and your backside ends up the size of a small country-no blaming me)

So here are the tips.

ALL green food is good for you.

It stands to reason doesn't it? Green is healthy, vegetables are green, Lettuce, cucumber and.........well you get my drift, they are green. Green MEANS vegetables, it's green to show that it's healthy. So I don't care if it's mint choc chip ice cream or Green & Black chocolate. It HAS to be good for you. it's green-Enjoy.

If you eat food off of someone elses plate you don't put on weight.

Someone elses food always tastes nicer than your own doesn't it? Thats because it's guilt and calorie free. Their food, their calories. The calories stick to the owner of plate. They prepared it, they are going to eat it. That couple of chips don't even count. FACT.

Fruit Gums count as part of your 5-a-day.

THEY ARE FRUIT, you have to have 5 pieces of fruit a day, they count!!!!!
You can also include Starbursts, Orange Kitkats and Fruit Polos. And if you really want to push it-Vodka & Orange.

Look how good you are, now you can honestly say you get your 5-a-day.

Chocolate Eggs are Calorie free.

Because when you crack them open, all the calories fall out. Well those pesky calories have to hide somewhere. That empty space is perfect. So crack them open and if you listen carefully you can hear the calories hitting the floor as they fall out.

Potatoes are your friend.

Potatoes are vegetables if I am not mistaken, therefore things made from potatoes are good for you. Chips and crisps are made from potatoes. If you eat 5 bags of crisps a day you have once more hit your 5-a-day target. You are on a roll, give yourself a round of applause.

Hide your alcohol.

Hiding your alcohol in fruit juice means that your body thinks it is being healthy, and in fact will make you feel even fitter. How can your vodka be bad for you? It's in fruit juice for gods sake. It's practically a health drink.

Write it all down.

If you are on a diet that involves writing down everything you eat and you forget to add that chocolate cheesecake you ate. IT DOESN'T COUNT. If it's not on your list, you didn't eat it. You're writing it all down, If it's not on the list-it's not on your hips.

Ok, now i'm off for a gastric bypass (kidding) Do you have any similar diet tips you can share?

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x


  1. Ahahah, definately taking note of #2 and 6 - who knew?!

  2. Ketchup is a vegetable.

    As is cheese (made from cow's milk, cow's eat grass, grass = vegetable)

    Actually, so's chocolate. From the Cacoa Bean. Vegetable/pulse/good thing

    Alcohol doesn't count if you can see through it.

  3. Ummmm I think you're on to a winner there. You should make a diet book and make millions! Tee hee! Love it.

  4. Love it! Finally a diet I can actually stick to :-D

  5. I prefer the light/dark diet - the lighter the color, the fewer the calories. Ie, white cake has almost no calories compared to chocolate cake. white gravy is much better for you than brown gravy. sugar cookies are better than double chocolate chip cookies. It's all in the color balance, I say.

  6. As my father says: You are what you eat - and who wants to be a lettuce?


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