Friday, 4 June 2010

The Summer of Big Brother 11

Okay, while I appreciate that a lot of you guys may not be fans of BB, I am. I make no apologies for this fact. I'm loud and proud. This post is my take on what sort of contestants we will have in the last ever Big Brother.

Contestant 1)

The Screaming Queen.

Every year we have at least one guy or girl who isn't just out of the closet they are dancing around in Satin hot pants calling everyone Dah-ling (and thats just the male contestants) Think Marco, Richard, David. They will be bitchy and at the centre of every bit of drama. They wont win, but If they play their cards right they will make friends for life and a centre page spread in Attitude.

Contestant 2)

The Beauty Queen

This contestant can also sometimes be confused with Glamour Model Queen but there IS a difference. Beauty Queen contestants are quiet, usually make just one or two close friends, are the object of at least 2 mens affections and are usually the object of Jealousy. Think Imogen NOT Saskia.

Contestant 3)

Glamour Girl

A totally different contestant from Beauty Queen. Glamour girl will NEVER, EVER take her top off. (Usually, because her mum will kill her) she will tease, please. Be flirty but usually never dirty. To be honest she is usually BORING.

Contestant 4)

Old Contestant

Older contestant has a vital role to play in Big Brother. Usually cooking. Think Carol, Derek. The older contestant usually ends up looking on in a bemused manner. Usually starting off as the mother/father figure they end up getting drunk on power and bitching to their acolytes about how some peoples bitchy behaviour is ruining things.

Contestant 5)

Something Different.

Channel 4 loves to be "right on" and show how they are the channel that never discriminates. Then they usually shove in a token person with a random disability or difference and makes a fuss of them. Think Nadia, Pete, Darnell, Mikey. We are a sucker for a back story.

Contestant 6) & 7)

The Love Story

Face it, Big Brother isn't Big Brother without a love story. Ziggy & Chanelle, Siavash & Noirin, Pete & Nikki, Kris & Sophie, Jason & his reflection, I mean Vanessa, Becky & Luke, Mikey and Grace, Stuart & Michelle. Helen & Paul, Maxwell & Saskia, The List goes on and on.
(What scares me is that I knew all of those and didn't even need to look them up)
Plus we have now had real life couples, Mario & Lisa as well as Rex and Nicole
Big Brother knows we need a hook and romance is that hook.

Contestant 8)

Rebel without a clue.

Now if you locked me in a house with 11 other people, I would rebel too. I would go stir crazy. But it seems that some people just love to rebel to be noticed. Kitten, Sandy, even Nikki. All had an axe to grind over the little things. Made great viewing. Didnt make a winner though.

Contestant 9)

The heartthrob.

Big Brother knows that we need good looking guys to keep our attention (Ok, mine) We want our men good looking and available. From Tom, Paul and Alex in early series to Stuart, Sezer Anthony, Rex, Charlie. A hearthrob is usually involved in a romance somewhere along the way. It was what they went in for.Oh God, I hope we have a really good looking man in this years series.

Contestant 10)

The Thick one.

Patented by Helen, with I love blinking, I do. and then followed by Jade. We love our thick contestants. They make us laugh. We laugh with them, not at them (most of us) If they are pretending, we can tell. But if someone genuinely doesn't know where East Angular is, well who are we to judge. Havent we all said something silly in the past?

Contestant 11)

The Pantomime Villian

When the blueprint for Big Brother was set with BB 1, we all knew we were watching something that would change television forever. When Nick Bateman first began by spinning stories about his background and talking about nominations the whole country was outraged. Even now he is referred to as "Nasty" Nick.

Oh come on, The pantomime Villian has to be the best Character in BB. The one we all love to hate. If you watched back old episodes of BB1 you probably wouldnt even raise an eyebrow at Nick Bateman. In fact you would probably applaud his genius way of playing "The Game" He grasped that this was a game LONG before anyone else did. Probably before even the producers knew how it would play out.

Other Villians of BB include Stuart, Charley, Makosi and Even to some extent Victor and Jason. we do love a pantomime villian.

Some were true players of the game. Others like Dennis and Alexandra let the game play them, and were removed.

Contestant 12)

Normal Guy/Girl

Every series has one. From Craig in the first series, to Cameron and then in later series Kate, Anthony, Glyn (Hang on, does anyone see a pattern emerge here) Big Brother puts to bed any illusions that Big Brother is a Soap Opera. Sure we love our pantomime villains but at the end of the day the nice guy usually wins. People think that fans of Big Brother are like Roman peasants baying for blood. Sure we love the drama and the tantrums and the romance, but we can see through it. We love to be entertained but it is still a very good social experiment. Take 12 normal people-and see if we can make them CRACK.

Lord of the Flies anyone?

What do you think? Can you think of any other types of contestants I have missed?

Big Fashionista x x


  1. The Already Slightly Unhinged - Could Blow At Any Minute Contestant. Like Nikki G, Ahmed and Shabaz.

  2. OMG I can't wait for it to start, I love the show, even if it has gotten bogged down with 'rules' since the early years, was much better when they just left them to argue and rip into each other LOL. I just love all the reality type shows and the Celebrity ones even more. I think its really sad to see Celebrity BB go more than the regular one, its always fun to see how they react, and you get surprised when some celebs turn out nicer than you perceived them ;o)

  3. I AM SOOOOOO EXCITED ABOUT BB THIS YEAR! The adverts have been fab!! sad its the last one but lets hope they go out with a bang!!!!

    Mrs JKD

  4. Amazing analysis, so accurate! Haha, I can't WAIT for this year. Although I am so upset its gonna be the last ever one :(

  5. Thanks for all your comments guys. Glad to see there's other people out there that share my love for BB.

    Roll on Wednesday x

  6. I want to add the Celebrity Related. You know the, I’m related to this celebrity. Sissy is related to Rooney and I hear Linford Christie's niece Rachel will be a contestant this year too.

  7. I do love Big Brother gossip :-D

    It's the best bit of the build up x x

  8. I am so pleased I have finally found others that love this reality TV show as much as I do!!! I also make no apologies.... it's addictive and brilliant for people like me (us) that love people watching. I am ever so slightly disappointed as my husband managed to convince me it started last night and it didn't - boo! It's on later this year isn't it???

    Love this blog think you have it spot on with the characters....I am hoping you are going to give us regular blog posts on your views ....

    Looking foreward to more blogs already ...
    PS Live feed is back too.... am doomed!


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