Friday, 2 July 2010

Kicking up a Stink.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

So it didn't have to take a bus or train in rush hour and stand there with the stench of sweat, desperation and other foul odours in its nose.

(Did you like that one? I made it up. well it is National Joke day-Do chickens even have noses as such? or nostrils?)

I digress.

The weather at the moment is amazing, It's sunny, with a beautiful breeze that cools you down and makes you feel that you are relaxing on a holiday abroad.

So why do people have to spoil it all by deciding to go without deodorant and in some cases even soap?

And then if they decide that they do want to smell like they have done a 24 hour stretch as Naoimi Campbells PA (oh come on you'd sweat bullets as her PA, all that ducking and diving) why on earth would they think it would be a fantastic idea to get in a little metal box with hundreds of other commuters and proceed in sharing the stench?

A question to these people-Is it that you want your stench to make friends? So you take it to places where it will meet other stenches so that they can mingle and frolic and play together in peoples nostril hair.

It can't be that you can't smell your own stench. Trust me no-one can smell that bad and not know.

I have a super idea for you people. WASH. not only in the mornings (always a good start) but also before you leave your office in the evening. (You must have running water for gods sake, its 2010) and in case you men didn't know. That stuff you spray on to make hot attractive women just fall at your nerdy feet, Lynx-yep thats the one. It is also a deodorant. It stops the stench-trust me, it's amazing (and you may also get more women if you don't smell, not hot ones like in the advert obviously-baby steps grasshopper, baby steps)


So read this article-Follow its advice and if you look around next time you are using public transport and you see a chicken sitting next to you-You're doing alright.


Big Fashionista x x
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3 comments

  1. HAHA- Dude, This post is amazing- Im on a four hour commute (two hours each way) at the moment and I will second this vote. Is their anyway we can get the gov to distribute this at train stations?

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  2. You know what, this is something I've never been able to understand. How on earth can you not be aware when you smell that bad?

    It's summer people! Jeez, if now ain't the time to take extra precautions, I don't know when is. Get it together!

    ReplyDelete
  3. oh, I feel for anyone who has to do this on a daily basis. I spent last weekend zipping all over London, on tubes, buses, regular trains, you name it.

    Oh my word, what a honk! At least living in the countryside the smell of manure isn't desperately unpleasant and you can close your windows to it, but its nigh on impossible to remove your nose from some chap's armpit when you're wedged like sardines on the Northern Line...

    Sam x

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