Wednesday, 28 July 2010

The Sock Monster.

Do you like to wear matching underwear? (men, you don't need to answer that if you don't want to) Do you like your socks to be the same colour? (Go ahead guys) are you finding that you are putting PAIRS into the wash basket, but all you are getting out is sad and lonely singles?

Then maybe you have a SOCK MONSTER.

Don't be fooled by the name, the Sock Monster isn't choosy, he will munch down your La Senza undies quicker than you can say date night knickers. He (face it, it has to be a he) has no shame, from stinky socks to naughty knickers he will eat them all, leaving no sign that he has even been there.

The Sock Monster resides in the wash basket, in the deepest darkest corner at the bottom, (along with a belt, a small single glove and at least one bath toy, or is that just mine?) he chooses his prey perfectly, if you have lots of the same colour socks then he won't touch them-no no, they are not to his taste, BUT, if you have a pair of cartoon character socks then he is on them like a tramp on a sandwich-yum yum, munch-burp.


Don't get me wrong, the sock monster is not greedy, he doesn't KEEP your offerings (That wouldn't be right) instead he waits.........until you throw away the unpaired item that he left you. That is when he usually returns it to you. (Yeah thanks mate)


If you have children you may find that you have more than one sock monster. I have one that likes to eat nothing but gloves. I am currently the proud owner of 1 Ben 10 glove, a Hello Kitty glove and one baby mitten that I am never going to throw away-hence I will never get the other one back.

Just so you are aware, the Sock Monster has no interest in your holey socks. They are obviously full of calories or MSG's because never have I known a sock monster to chow down on a holey sock. If however the partner sock did not have a hole in it- well that is fair game (and usually lunch)


So if you are currently puzzled over why your socks seem to be permanently unpaired (bit like Jennifer Aniston) maybe you too are the proud owner of...............


A Sock Monster!!!!!!!


Big Fashionista
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4 comments

  1. I have a sock monster - or an Eater Of Socks as I like to think of it since I read Hogfather! I've got nearly a drawer full of odd socks but I can't throw them away because I'm convinced I'll find the others! (ps if I remember correctly the Eater Of Socks is described as being a sort of small worried looking elephant/aardvark type creature!!)

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  2. I truly do love reading your posts! They never fail to make me smile or in this case, laugh!

    The sock monster is very much alive in my house!

    Fee x

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  3. I love your sarcasm and humor in your posts!

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