Wednesday, 8 September 2010

The Man Period

There is a condition out there that until now, no-one dare speak its name. A condition that men have suffered throughout the years in silence (well not quite but more about that later) and misery (oooooh the misery)


It is the Man period.


Similar to the woman's period only obviously MUCH worse, at a certain time of the month the man will start to become moody and irritable for no particular reason, mope around constantly and cause pain and suffering to all of those around him.

Previously this suffering was known as havingabadday-itis. The man walks through the door (slamming it behind him obviously) and when the woman asks him whats wrong he would reply "Just having a bad day"

Well now this has been proved not to be the case. If a man you love says this to you then you know it is time for his MAN PERIOD. (you may want to hide your large bar of galaxy)

As I briefly mentioned, the man period is far far worse than ANY pain and misery that any woman will suffer on her period. and due to the taboo nature of the subject it is impossible for a woman to use this condition against her man. For example, if you argue with a man about a subject his usual reply to try to stop the conversation in its tracks would be "time of the month is it" purely to make you seem as though you are irrational (They never try to make sure they are out of throwing distance as they say it though do they? HA, who's irrational now? huh? huh?)

Men who suffer from this terrible condition have found over the years that lager helps to soothe their symptoms, watching a team game such as football is also prescribed to help overcome the misery (unless you're are a West Ham fan, in which case they are advised at the moment to avoid such gut-wrenching misery and disappointment)

Sounds like fun huh?

I wish that spa trips and shopping days were recognised as cures for PMT. Men have it easy. They have a period, they can wind down in the pub or at home and rest. Women have to carry on regardless.

AND we have more obvious signs of periods than men. (If men bled from orifices during their man periods there would have been a cure found almost immediately trust me)

It's like the menopause. Women get hot sweats, weight gain and misery. Men get a Ferrari, a new haircut and sometimes a younger girlfriend!!  And this is positively encouraged!!!

A man in his 50's buys a RS Cosworth and everyone looks at him in sympathy and says "oh leave him be, he's having a mid life crisis" A woman sweats buckets in Asda and sticks her head in the chest freezer and everyone thinks she is MENTAL. (It wasn't me, I promise)

We can't win ladies. So crack out that bar of Galaxy and the next time your man starts to act all hormonal why not suggest a soppy film you can watch together in the dark (so you can't see his tears)  

And just hope and pray that your periods NEVER synchronise!!!!!!!


Big Fashionista x x
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6 comments

  1. haha :):):) My man seems to be going through this right now and believe me when i say it's HELL to live with. If i'm having a bad day he calls me depressed, even irrational or plain masochist ...Right now he is worse than my most horrid PMS :S

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  2. Love this post. It is so true. I swear I would not be suprised if I found out my husband was actually menstruating... x

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  3. The only thing that is a positive for us ladies is that we can get the sympathy from your girlfriends.

    Imagine if your man told his mates he was having a man period!!!!!

    He would be thrown out of the brotherhood immediately :-)

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  4. That is a great post, really enjoyed reading it. but being a modern man, i plow on regardless with my man period which seems to last 3 weeks out of 4 with one good week rather that 1 week out of 4 with 3 good weeks...

    or most men are just typical grumpy little boys at the end of it all and they spit their dummy out and need to feel like a man and do man things... football, larger, bang chests, etc....

    yes i am a heterosexual man lol, but i see a womans point of view.. or ask i like to call myself... MODERN MAN

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  5. I've always believed in MANstruation, there's definately something that sets tem off ;)

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  6. I have just found your blog through twitter!! This made me LOL!! My other half is currently suffering from Man Flu, last week I had the flu but he has Man Flu which is medically proven to be 1000 times worse!!! I am not a good nurse hahaha!!

    Em

    x

    http://www.emsmixedbag.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete

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