Monday, 27 September 2010

Save our Sisterhood

Good morning Ladies how are you? Want to schooch up on that sofa a bit so I can sit down with you all and have a chat? (No cake for me thanks)

This is the situation. This is a mad, sad world that we live in at the moment. There is hunger, death, war and a hell of a lot of people in a situation where they cannot pay their bills. (Depressing huh?)

In the past, say for example during the war, people pulled together. They supported each other and helped each other.

Ladies, this is not always happening anymore.

There are women out there who seem to take great delight in negativity, sniggering at others misfortunes and dare I say it, sometimes orchestrating another womans downfall. (oh I went there)

Where is the "sisterhood" that used to exist?

Even in the blogging world there are people who post anonymous comments that are designed just to pull a person down. Just what is the point of that?

The "sisterhood" in some areas has taken a sinister turn.

Remember back in school you had the group of girls that used to look out for you to call you names, push past you in the corridors and basically try to make you feel small and insignificant? (If you can't, it may be that you were part of one of those groups!!!) Well that's school for you, your school years are basically a huge social experiment with a small percentage of education thrown in for good measure. But then when you leave school and you MATURE. You learn that friends are the best thing in the world, Your girls will be with you through thick and thin.

Some women don't seem to realise that we are not in competition in life. There are grown women out there whose maturity levels just aren't what they should be. Be it they let their friends leave the house in an outfit that is only fit for burning or they take delight in spreading gossip about someone, even sleeping with a friends man!!!! These women are not part of the sisterhood, they are TOXIC.

Before you rush to peoples defence, yes there are some fabulous people out there (I am one of them, of course) But the negativity and lack of sisterly solidarity some women in the world possess is astounding.

There is a new film being released called Made In Dagenham where the group of factory women strike for equal pay........... Does anyone think that this could happen anymore? Or is everyone now just out for themselves?

Has the way that women view their friends changed? Are friends just people that bring something to the table to help you get a leg up?  Have you been on the receiving end of a toxic woman?

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x


  1. I have been at the receiving end of many a toxic woman, since school and in real-life.

    The most shocking example was during a job interview. I was living in York and drove down to Maidstone, Kent, for a job interview. I was interviewed by two girls that made sure I felt I was never going to get the job, they ridiculed my accent - I'm half Brit, have no regional Brit accent but the result of having American, Australian, English, Scottish friends, apparently that was worth mocking.

    Instead of trying to find out whether I would be good for their company they decided to make me endure 45 minutes of disrespect, as with almost every answer I gave they sniggered, and talked to each other under their breath.

    They were toxic, childish and unprofessional. I went on to move to Spain for a year, enjoy the sun, adopt a dog, study and sunbathe almost every day.

    They got to rot in their jealousy and unhappiness in their cold office... 'cos that's what happens when you're toxic.

  2. Well said Girlies. Go girl power and the sisterhood :)

    Rachelle Xxx

  3. I have met so few women that are worth being friends with. I find too many to be shallow and empty and ready to stab you in the back first chance they get. Boys are so much easier to be friends with. When they say they aren't thinking about anything, it's true. There's a lot less room for misinterpretation with guys. I'm also a raging nerd, and though the internet assures me I'm not that special, I find it difficult to find other nerdy girls to be friends with.

  4. I've been both girls. I've been the bitchy girl who only looked out for herself. I've been the girl who was talked about and laughed at. Neither are nice and neither are necessary.

    You're right - we grow up/move on when we leave a certain situation, whether it be school/work, a group of friends. When I stopped being the bitchy girl I became the "fat whore" (?? I was a virgin at the time) and I was happier that way. At least I had a group of real friends. Unfortunately, it took me gaining weight and being ostracised from my "bitchy friends" to discover who I really am instead of just waking up and growing up.

    Thanks for the post :) I hope it encourages more of us to pull together and sort shit out.

    Chrissy xx

  5. I love this blog and very true I think as women we go through transitional changed with our friends as we go through stages of life. Ihave a few very close friends who have been there since year dot. I also have lots of girls that have come and gone for one reason or another- ive also been on the receiving end of the toxic type and am proud to say ive never been that girl and hope never to be - for all the girls out there we should unitex

  6. LOVE this post ... I used to get bullied constantly at school ... i was a quiet and shy girl ... i then grew up and became more confident about everything in life and when people tried to bully me again i gave them what for ... now they try and be my friends ... well they can jog on but i wouldnt have got through that without my girls ... every girl needs their best friends!! Its such a shame that people feel the need to belittle people so much and be as petty as they are being!! YAY FOR THIS POST!!! xx

  7. I think I'm in the fortunate position of never having been a real subject of bullying by girls (although have met plenty of bitches in my time) and having been bullied (by a boy) in school would never be involved in the bullying of someone else.
    The comment that really riled me was the sleeping with your mates man one as it reminded me of a magazine problem page I read a couple of years ago where a girl said 'I really fancy my best mates bloke' and the agony aunt said 'It's OK, this is perfectly normal - just don't act on it'. Now I know we can't control who makes us go 'oooh', but telling her it's OK was an act of 'bad sisterhood' in itself surely? Not sure how other people think, but personally as soon as my friend / sister is with or fancies someone I can't look at them in a 'fanciable' way one bit. Maybe I've just been lucky, or maybe it's a lesson learned from falling out with a friend over a boy at 13?
    Fashion Limbo - that's bloody awful...anytime, but in a job interview? As if those things aren't nerve-wracking enough?!? I'm so chuffed to hear you got the last laugh!
    Chrissy - loved your comment, and it's honesty. Again - weight gain is something hard enough for us girls to go through without your friends deciding it doesn't make you worth hanging around with.
    Great post (again) and I hope lots of people read it, and those that should...take note! Surely it'd only make us a stronger, happier bynch if we had more friends rather than look for girls to back-stab?

  8. Loved this post - really great.

    It's such a shame 'sisterhood' is a thing of the past now really.
    But ofcourse you can still have it in your own friendships.
    I guess personally growing up in really an only female family has made me love other woman and respect them instead of being jealous or disliking them.

    So it's always nice to meet someone that also feels the same way...however they are so many 'toxic' women out there!
    Such a shame.

    Fee x

  9. Great post as always. I think we all need to be a bit kinder to each other, and most importantly to ourselves. Thanks for this.
    Jan x

  10. I've been on the receiving end of lots of toxic girls! i try to just always be a good part of the sisterhood to try cancel it out. xxx

  11. Great post, my friend was subject to some vicious bullying via Facebook. Social Media with its anonymous comment options or blocking people from FB unfortunately sometimes gives bullies an easy option to spew their crap!

  12. I don't think this kind of behaviour is limited to women - men indulge in bullying and conniving just as often. And I have no tolerance for women who don't like women - "Oh, I don't girls - they're so bitchy, all my friends are men they are so straightforward blah blah blah blah." Being THAT girl doesn't make one cool, it makes one a misogynist.

  13. @Dee That right there is being "toxic." Who are you to say that I'm a misogynist for not having female friends? I don't think I'm a better person for only having male friends, why do you think you're better for blasting girls like me? I'm a gamer and not many women are--I've met a lot online, but that's not the same. And I do have a few female friends that aren't gamers. They are wonderful, fabulous women that I would give anything if they asked for it.

  14. I couldn't agree more, I've met many toxic women in the workplace (I'm a lot more careful about who I'll let into my friend zone as a result) and it's gotta be the one-uppers who annoy me most. You know, when you're feeling tired and run down, they start on a huge monologue of how tired and run down THEY are. When you have a headache, they have a brain tumour. If you've been to paradise, they've got a season ticket... argh I just give up with them in the end!
    Luckily I have a wonderful hubby who more than makes up for the people out there I can't rely on :)
    Maybe we should start some sort of positive sisterhood support group?


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