Wednesday, 3 November 2010

Dear O2

Dear O2,

I'm not sure if you remember me. I've been a customer of yours for many, many years now and lets face it, our relationship is on the wane. You don't call me unless you want something (paying) You don't write anymore. Frankly I am starved of your affection and this cuts me deep.

So imagine my surprise when I received a text from you today saying my bill was ready! (you little tease, you) and it seems like you had made a mistake and charged me too much. Dear O2, if you want my attention, send flowers, even chocolates. But lets not muck up my bill. It puts me in a bad mood and quite frankly I'm a bitch when it comes to money.

I spoke to one of your customer services (I use the word service loosely, VERY loosely) representatives. who informs me that you have changed your tariffs and now we are charged individually for MMS messages instead of them coming out of my text allowance!!!!!

Ah O2, is this your way of breaking up with me? Are you trying to make me hate you so much that I leave you? You don't have the strength to do it yourself so if you can make me hate you then it will be less painful?
(You remind me of an ex I once had)

The customer services (LOL) rep then decided to tell me that it wasn't HER fault!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ah bless, O2, your agents need a leetle more of the training courses that you supply if she thought that I would stop talking in an articulate and quite frankly restrained manner and partake of a group hug to make HER feel better. In fact I was surprised she didn't invite me into the loo so that she could sob on my shoulder and tell me all the bad things O2 have been doing to her also!!

So after doing a little bit of research O2, it looks as though you are trying to do a bit of a sneaky one and change EVERYONES tariffs so that people are being charged for MMS messages instead of them coming out of their text allowance and NOT tell them!!!!!

Tut tut O2, that isn't nice of you is it?

Quite frankly O2, if you were a boyfriend you would get yourself a reputation. (and possibly a STD or two)

No-one likes people trying to pull the wool over their eyes O2.

ESPECIALLY paying customers.

So O2, I think it is for the best if we just let our relationship run its course. (till the end of the contract) and then go our separate ways.

Sure you will miss me. I will miss you too, but my new relationship will be built on trust (and more minutes)  and a new kick arse phone which lets face it is better than flowers any day of the week.

Farewell O2 my love. it's been fun. but frankly you thought you could take me and all your other customers for granted.

And trust me, you CAN'T.

Big Fashionista x x


  1. I've just signed another 18 months contract! dammit.

  2. I'm pretty sure Orange is doing this too as my last few bills have had extra charges for text messages. Haven't mustered up the strength to call up and investigage but sounds like the same sort of thing... bastards

  3. haha love this post. i noticed my o2 bill went up loads last month, luckily im on 30 day contract so it may be time to change

  4. I didn't think they could change your contract without telling you, so that it would give you the opportunity to leave (without having to fulfil the original contract length).

    Have a look into it, I'm sure when another company changed their contract ever so slightly, it gave a lot of people a loophole to leave their contract early as they 'didn't agree' with the new terms. It was possibly virginmedia or somebody but I think the same thing applies. xx

  5. Haha oh dear. O2 won't be getting any sexts anytime soon from you then.

    I haven't had the pleasure of them but Orange are equally as shit. They told me I could upgrade early - when I rang up to do so they said I'd have to pay for the 2 months I was missing out from upgrading early. Why offer me it then you giant douche!!?? (I've reached the angry stage..can you tell?)


  6. now i know what phone company to avoid if i do move back to the UK :)

  7. This is the exactly the reason they all make you sign up for about 40 years - makes it impossible to leave so they relish treating you like dirt. I think it's a sexual thing

  8. Despise o2 with a passion, my contract ended earlier this year and i changed to vodafone, and darling o2 are STILL trying to send me bills! Nothing but persistent when they're taking your money but when you need assistance they're terribly difficult to get hold of!

  9. You're breaking up with me by blog?!

    Look, it's not like that. It didn't happen the way you think! Let me just explain before you dump me forever, okay?

    It's like this. Before, you'd have, say, 500 texts. Out of that 500, we'd just take 4 off if you sent an MMS.

    But then in February this year, we put unlimited texts on all our tariffs as standard. Now, if you take 4 from unlimited, it leaves unlimited. Nobody gives unlimited MMS. In fact, from what I can see, none of those other guys who keep trying to woo you can beat our 20p per message.

    Okay, after February, these new tariffs were the only ones available if you upgraded (we can't keep the old ones around forever, right?) but we didn't change everyone's tariffs without telling them, no way.

    I think I might know of a way to save our relationship. So let's talk before you do anything hasty, hm? DM me.

  10. Funny as hell. Need to know, are you still with o2? BTW, Verizon gives free MMS's, so they're lying to you ;)

  11. Oh O2,

    it is only when our relationship is in jeopardy that you finally open up to me. Is this how our relationship is always going to be?

    True, old ones can't always be kept forever. In fact in definitely thinking of trading you in for a younger model as we speak ;-)

    These guys that are "wooing me" seem to be so open and honest-you know, how you were when we first got together.

    O2, I don't know what has happened to you over these last few years. It is as if you don't care. You think because you sent me chocolate last month I will just forgive you!!!!

    It's hard. You are such a big part of my life and i'd be lost without you. But i don't know if the trust is gone.

    What can I say O2,

    Its not me-It's you

    x x x

  12. Haven't laughed this much in ages! Brilliant!! Naughty O2!

  13. Ha ha, very good!

    Vodafone also charge for MMS - but since I now have a smartphone, I just email instead.

  14. Dear 02,

    it has also been pointed out to me that I DONT HAVE UNLIMITED TEXTS!!!!!!

    I get 500 a month!!!

    Oh we are SO over O2!!!!

  15. Dear o2, will you save me from Orange? They're mean.
    Love, Polly.

  16. O2 are talking rubbish. I dont have unlimited txts. On top of that - right no I have No Service

  17. I changed tarriff, well my contracts came to an end, and yes I do now have unlimited texts, and on a 30day contract.

  18. I’ve always tried to be as open with you as I could. Sometimes, though, even with the best intentions, people can get things wrong. And if that’s me then, well, I want to make it better between us.

    Those other guys – sure, they’re full of promises and they’ll tell you the grass is greener. But is it? Is it really THAT green?

    I’m sorry you think I don’t care. I was hoping the chocolate would be a nice little surprise, to let you know that I do care about you. But I know you want more from me and I’ll make it happen, if you give me a chance. All I can do is promise to try and be a better provider for you.

    If you really don’t get your MMS taken from your texts allowance, then you’ve got unlimited texts – trust me on this. But we need to talk, just you and me. I can’t discuss our relationship in detail in this goldfish bowl – it’s not for everyone else to see, it’s about us. But I can’t make things better if you won’t talk to me.

    At least give me a chance to explain? Get in touch – let’s talk this over...?

  19. Tee hee hee :-D This is fantastic... x

  20. Haha loving the 02 replies.

    I'm on 02 and this post has just made me realise something...since my upgrade 2 weeks ago I have had nothing but problems with 02/my 'phone'. It resulted in me having no service at a crucial time ala when my car broke down :(
    After a few stressed phonecalls to 02 I was advised to get a new sim and since then it's been fine but I will never forgive 02 for a letting me down when I needed my phone the most. It was hard not having a working number for 4 days!!
    I have a funny feeling that maybe it was related to my upgrade...I better go study my last bill!

    Thanks for the heads up!


  21. I know o2 are in the wrong here but...I'm tickled by their responses.

  22. I am with o2 ive been with them for 8 years and this is the reason why!! ;-)

  23. Oh Big Fashionista, O2 has been seeing me. We have a pay as you go arrangment for a while now, which has been working so well. I'm not sure I could ever commit to him, he is better than Orange as he gives me nice Topup surprisers .... Better than it always being about the cinema. I think they are all bad boys really, I heard that Vodafone owns taxes he has not paid. Plus he never seems to care about anything :(
    O2 is a bad boy too, but he is the best of the bunch .... Sometimes better not to sign your heart to him. Just have a more pay and see how it goes relationship, for a extra ten pounds a month he let's me see the girls like Facebook and twitter. Maybe give him a chance, but he needs to be more open if it's going to work xxxxx

  24. Love the way o2 have completely matched your tone.

  25. Awww Big Fashionista, give him another chance. They all have their faults, and I have been around the block with all of these guys, and believe me, O2 is the best of a bad bunch! He is trying so hard to make amends, just hear him out and see what he is promising. I sure this is a relationship worth saving x

  26. O2 seems genuine, but is he really sorry or just sorry he's been caught out!? You should have a serious talk about your relationship, but make him take you somewhere fancy to have the talk - candles, champagne, the works!!

  27. o2 said: "Those other guys – sure, they’re full of promises and they’ll tell you the grass is greener. But is it? Is it really THAT green?"

    Here the beast reveals its true face. How rare.

    The reason companies like this can abuse us so is because they are
    very close to what can be described as a cartel. They don't have to treat you humanely, because the cost+logistics of anyone else trying to play in their market (with better service or price) are almost completely insurmountable.

  28. O2 keep charging me data roaming charges every time I go abroad - even though I keep the function switched off on my phone. What can I say hun? O2 is clearly untrustworthy...

  29. i've been with o2 for nearly 8 years. i defly love them more than they love me. promised me 80% off international calls and texts to my mum in oz. never happened. i also pay more than anyone else i know. worst of all, i never seem to get any of their O2 music priority offers. most recently deeply wounded when i missed out on kylie tickets. but i love them still and will always stick up for them. x

  30. O2 sent you chocolates? do they NOT know you are on a diet? Are O2 and the FRENEMY one of the same? why do they never listen???
    Buggers. Also, they sent me chocolates as well. O2, what a cheating bloody player.

    @lornamedia x

  31. I'm sooo enjoying the line of responses on this post...ahhh, too funny!!

  32. Loving it...customer service at its best!

  33. Ah O2, you beguile me with your words.

    Lets talk this through. maybe there will be a way to save our relationship. You have been a good "provider" in the past and lets face it, we have our family to think about too.

    But you talk about trust. I don't know if that is gone forever.

    I look forward to talking to you at 2.30pm

    But don't think that if we patch up our differences I will be putting out for a VERY long time

    x x x x

  34. Dear Big Fashionista,

    Rumour in the Twittersphere says you've reconciled together the great divide in your relationship with O2. It's very touching to hear, even if we did miss out on being a rebound lover. We wish you every happiness for the future.

    So we're not left out in the cold, are there any available or soon-to-be-single bachelorettes (or bachelors, this is the 21st Century) looking to hook up? All we ask for is minimal commitment, a few gold pieces, pina coladas and walks in the rain (ok scratch the last two). In return as a provider, we can woo you with TLC 365 days a year, VIP treats and deep 'n' meaningful chats online. Heck if we knew a good florist, we'd even work on the flowers!

    We're just looking for a meaningful and rewarding relationship like any other, so get in touch people.

    Yours (heartbrokenly)

    Vodafone xx

    Twitter - @VodafoneUK

  35. Oh please...spare us.

  36. Vodafone must be desperate. Haha!

  37. I love this thread, it's so funny!
    It's brilliant to see that mobile phone companies can have a sense of humour. :)

  38. Voda - what a cheap trick. A couple are having relationship difficulties and you think it is o.k. to complicate matters for them. Let them have their discussion like grown ups and if they decide to part, then and only then should you start your pathetic mating ritual.

  39. Hey

    I’m so glad we got the chance to talk things through and that you’re feeling better about us now.

    It seems that we’ve been the topic of conversation in quite a few places and that’s great, but all I wanted was to get our relationship back on track. I hope that, after our phone call and the little chats we’ve had since then, you know now that I really do care about you.

    If you ever think I’ve got it wrong again, or if you just need my help with something, let me know. Tweet me, call me, email me, however you want to do it. Just know that I’m here for you – that’s a promise :)


  40. Ewwww Vodafone are creepers.

  41. Chocolates? I never got chocolates from O2!

    1. I was on a diet at the time!!!!

      It's like they KNOW

  42. I'm waiting for Richard Branson to come along and try to sex you up with Virgin deals. This is the funniest thread ever! I also have had issues with o2 but find it hard to leave them. They're just so rich and powerful. It's attractive.
    (please note ironic tone)
    Ruth x

  43. WAIT...they're sending chocolates? You know I'm your friend and always on your side. Dump them. You don't need them in your life, bringing you down and not seeing the amazing woman you are.

    *dials O2...oh hi, now about these chocolates*

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