Wednesday, 3 November 2010

Eating with the Frenemy

In case you haven't worked out, I am on a diet (thanks for the Missing You card Greggs) and I know I am doing well but I have come across a problem.

Frenemies.

Let me give you an example of a Frenemies work.

"Oh go on, have a treat"

"One won't hurt you, you're doing so well"

"We will go to Pizza Express, you can have a salad"


Now I am SURE they are not DELIBERATELY trying to sabotage my hard work (Although one might be) but they are trying to sabotage me all the same.

Is it a case of I am changing my position? Maybe up until now I have been the "fat friend" that everyone has and uses as a yard stick to judge theirselves by. "Well I am thinner than so-and-so so i'm doing ok"

Oh you know we all do it :-)


Frenemies in general are the bane of every womans life, they love ya, but if you fall flat on your face you know damn well that pic is going to end up on Facebook, tagged with your name for everyone to see.
(I tripped, I was NOT drunk)

Maybe I am being paranoid but it seems to me that my Frenemies are coming out of the woodwork. If I had a pound for every time someone had said to me over the last couple of weeks "Just have one" I'd have £19.75p (one was my daughter-Beyatch)

Do Frenemies WANT to see you fail or will they then swoop in at the last minute and save the day?

What is your experience of Frenemies?

Let me know x x x


Big Fashionista x
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12 comments

  1. I had shit loads of frenemies when I quit smoking a few years ago. Always trying to get me to have one, especially when I'd had a drink. Instead of just being proud of the fact I'd gone 6 weeks and trying to encourage me.

    Dont let them drag you down babe,you're doing so well!

    xxx

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  2. I don't think they want to see you fail, more maybe that they don't want to see you do too well as it reflects on them. If you can do it (whatever 'it' is) why can't they? Why aren't they? I think its human nature to be a little defensive when the status quo is threatened. The measure of a true friend is how they transfer these feeling onto you...

    I always find that I am the one doing everything last... finishing uni, learning to drive, getting a job (but then I am two years younger than most of my group of friends) but then a few years ago it looked as if I may skip a few steps on the life ladder and leave a few friends trailing behind. Their noses where put well and truly out of place. It is as if my 'bringing up the rear' status allows other to feel better about their own state of affairs. It is only my true friends that don't make me feel this way.

    Wow that was a little like therapy!

    Just stick to your guns, your friends will just have to adjust to the new you!

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  3. I had one 'frenemie' who when I had lost 3 stone (no mean achievement) said to me 'I don't know why you bothered as you will soon put it all back on again'.

    Another time she emailed me a picture of myself looking pretty thin from years ago with a caption 'Skinny you' and said 'I am trying to motivate you'.

    She was my best friend from 1992-2008 when I finally ditched her...I wonder why...so many other stories too about that friend but these are just a couple of 'diet' related ones.

    Keep up the good work Kellie and your real friends will support you all the way.

    Lynnette x

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  4. All I can think of as a possibility that they are doing it with food intentions, is that they just want you to go to where they're going on an outing with them, so they can spend time with you - maybe like you've always done? Maybe you could suggest a different place to go where food isn't involved?

    Otherwise they probably just don't realise and could just be being how they've always been with you? In that case you could just have a little word with them and point out that your attitude to food has changed and that you'd appreciate it if you weren't being tempted to eat things you shouldn't?

    Hope it sorts itself out anyway! x

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  5. Oh god I said food intentions instead of good intentions - sorry about that lol! x

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  6. I know what you mean and I agree people like to have someone around to eat 'bad things' with as it eases their own guilt. I don't think it's necessarily a deliberate malicious thing aka 'sabotage' but I think women often express their body insecurities by unintentionally attacking other women who potentially might be threatening to outshine them in the 'thin' stakes. Sad, but true...

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  7. Hey
    When I lost 4 stone my friend called me one morning and said she had a terrifying dream that I fitted into her clothes!
    xx

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  8. Frenemies always win with me... when I start slimsure I gonna have NO friends, no frenemies, no enemies, nothing, zilch... it'll be loooonelyyyy this Christmas :(

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  9. My best friend is the worst culprit for corrupting me when I am on a diet! I know she definitely doesn't mean it maliciously it's just that we have a great time sharing a bottle of wine (or two, or three!) and chocolates or take away. She's never had to worry about her weight so doesn't see dieting as a big deal.

    Becky

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  10. Since losing weight (56kg and counting) I have noticed that friends aren't has friendly as they were. They aren't interested in hearing about my weight loss. They have stoped saying I look good. It was strange at first but, i don't care. I feel fantastic and now fit into a size 10. I'm a new person.

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  11. I've had one girl extremely friendly: sharing tips, general chit chat and support as she did the same diet as me at the time... then when I'd lost a bit more than her she turned into a Bitch From Hell. No joke.
    Screw 'em ;) You're doing fantastically!

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  12. Ah frenemies, my so called best friend (she no longer holds that cherished title), only liked me when I was single and/or miserable. When I was happy and content she was always trying to plant seeds of doubt in my head and telling me I was not living my life the right way (as in I didn't spend every weekend puking in nightclubs and fucking strangers)...

    Took me awhile but I saw the light and we are no longer friends

    ReplyDelete

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