Monday, 8 November 2010

Self sabotage Sureslim UK Update

I know it isn't weigh in day but I feel that I need to share something with you all.

This week has been crap.

Now I don't mean, strip naked and dive head first into a chocolate fountain and drink it dry sort of crap, Just in general I feel like some old bad habits are starting to creep back in.

And it has made me think

Am I sabotaging MYSELF?

I am 2lb off of two stone and I'll be honest with you here, I have never lost that amount of weight without it taking a bloody long time or giving birth to a baby.

It is a scary concept.

Have I got so used to being "The fat one" or "the one who would be pretty if she lost some weight"
Perhaps I feel that this is the role I have carved out for myself  and the fact that my clothes size has now changed doesn't change that inside I am still that "fat" girl.

I have used my weight as an excuse for so long that I think I am scared that if I do lose the weight I will no longer have my weight to hide behind.

For so long now I have been overweight that it becomes almost a security blanket. I say how I love my curves and I don't want to lose them. People tell me not to lose too much more as I will get too thin. It just seems that lately those niggling doubts have become larger as my hips get smaller.

Anytime I have in the past got to a dieting milestone I have backed away from it and protected myself with Pizza and chocolate. I then feel guilty, so I eat more, which makes me feel worse and so the hamster wheel of dieting keeps spinning around and around and around.

But I don't want to do that this time. I want to break the cycle of binge dieting. I am not craving bad foods so I dont understand why I have an URGE to eat them.

The little voices in my head tell me, "just one won't hurt" and "you look good as you are now" whereas in the past six weeks I have been on a dieting high.

Do all women do this self sabotaging? Not only in dieting but in life?

I know that mothers constantly put others before themselves. A friend of mine turned down a job that she had interviewed for twice, had a tour around the building and met her new team before she then panicked and said she couldn't take the job as it would mean her children would miss her. (they wouldn't, trust me) Two weeks later she was kicking herself.

How about men too? Does self sabotaging happen to you too?

Do you deny yourself happiness because you are scared of it?

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x


  1. I SO identify with this, I've had similar wranglings with myself this morning in fact, i dont have an answer for you. I can get to a stone then I self-destruct.All I can say is well done for getting to your 2 stone (are u like me, I wld need to do 4lbs so I am OVER the 2 stone or else I just get stuck at that point?)and I wish I'd lost 2 stone my lovely so stop beating yourself up about it and keep going.xx I look forward to watching your progress!:D

  2. Oh hun, we all do this in one way or another, I back away from things, especially at work, because I think I am not good enough and will inevitably fail... but we have to make mistakes, suffer the set backs to learn and move on.
    Change is scary but focus on the intentions that spurred you on to start this journey, remember how you left then and allow yourself time to adjust to how you feel about yourself now - and be kind to yourself! You're doing so well, don't give up!

  3. Firstly, I'd like to say that people who tell you not to lose anymore weight or you will look too thin are wrong! My best friend's mum says it to me all the time when I am doing well on my diet. I am only 5'2" and I am the wrong end of a size 14. At my lowest weight recently I was a comfortable size 14 and I had the "Don't lose anymore weight it won't suit you" line.

    The thing is people who say this just need some time to adjust to your new look. It has nothing to do with the weight loss not suiting you and everything to do with the fact that they aren't used to you looking different. They wouldn't confront a stranger in the street who was a size 14 and tell them that they look too thin now would they?

    I seem to self sabotage EVERY time! I cannot reach the 11 stone mark. Whenever I get close I go on a complete binge for a few weeks and end up putting on half a stone again. However, this has crept up recently to 11lbs so if anyone has any tips on how to stop yourself from sabotaging all your hard work I would love the help too!

    Beckiem3 xxx

  4. Right now I am dieting but I am not weighing myself. My sabotaging from my weight seems to come when the numbers stop going down and I get frustrated and think 'what's the point?!' I've never been able to get lower than 150 lbs - I don't know why this is but I plateau there horribly and can't seem to shift it.

    Measuring myself seems to keep me more positive - isn't that weird? This morning my waist measured 29.5 inches and it feels good. :)

    Self-sabotaging in other areas of life is a whole other story. I definitely do it to myself. The worse ever was when I deliberately cheated when I was with a boy who made me glow with happiness. I just didn't think I deserved it, somehow.


  5. I can identify with every part of this post. I lost well over 3st for my wedding 7 years ago, as soon as the wedding was over the weight slowly began to creep back on. I dont think having 2 more children helped. But niw i have been offered a great chance to shine, but who would really want to employ a fat journalist seriously.

    I think your an inspiration, you are doing so well i would love to lose even half of what you have lost.
    Chin up chest out and on you go. Start from scrach tomorrow and you will be fine.

    Lots of love x

  6. Girl, you said it all:

    I don't want to do that this time. I want to break the cycle of binge dieting. I am not craving bad foods so I dont understand why I have an URGE to eat them.

    If you feel week, say these words. I find them quite powerful, maybe they'll work if you keep repeating them to yourself.

    I am not of good advice, I fall from the wagon every time, but maybe instead of thinking about whether you are sabotaging yourself and why, maybe you should focus on embellishing yourself and make you feel more beautiful inside.

    :) x

  7. Oh poo... I hope the last sentence doesn't read that I think you are ugly inside, I just meant that your vision of yourself should not be negative, and that you should work at banishing those negative thoughts... I'll put it on me being French lol x

  8. I so relate to what you're saying. I've been self-sabotaging all parts of my life since my early twenties! My friend pointed it out to me at that point in my life so God knows how long I was doing it till then!

    Thing is, now I'm in more control of it because I'm so much more aware of it and can stop myself, although it is difficult.

    I think acknowledging this side of us can be really strengthening on a personal level if done correctly. Am I talking crap or does it make sense?

  9. I know I'm not the only one who does this but it's always nice to be reminded! Personally, I try very hard to be optimistic, and take risks, but almost every day there's a part of me which is sh*tting bricks and a little voice telling me I can't do it. Sometimes I feel like I am just waiting to fail! I think we're all like that. It's just fear of the unknown... nobody likes to get outside of their comfort zone. For you, your comfort zone has been your body being a certain size and the idea of it changing is going to be scary.

    Often though, I find the more you want something, the more you will tell yourself you don't. It's a defense mechanism to prevent us from having to face failure.


  10. We are so hard on ourselves us women. I have been all dress sizes from a slender 10 to a hefty 16+. For ages I was one of those women who appeared to eat what they like with little change in overall appearance and then 3 children came along in just over 3 years and whilst they were big babies I can't say 14yrs on that I am still loosing my baby weight. I eat for all sorts of reasons and rarely for hunger, when I eat because I am hungry I am rather suprised at the ferocity of the need, I can think of nothing else. I am finally at a point where I can leave food alone, and eat for hunger but boy is it hard, had a good day? Eat to celebrate, had a crap day? Eat to commiserate, had a boring day? Eat to pass the time. I really don't think it ever goes away. All I can say is think before you eat it. Jan x

  11. Gteat post :) love that your blog always gives me food for thought!
    Def guilty of self sabotage.

  12. I can only speak from my own experience. I've spent the last 3 and a half years living in Belgium and I'm so miserable. Made no friends, now have delicate back injury so I lost my job, I never go out, I've cried way too much for a country that has nothing to do with me.

    So in September I took the decision: I'm leaving. Talked to my man and he also agreed he's near depression and that he's coming with me. So all is good right? not quite. I'm still paralysed and so terrified that even though we have decided where we are going to and told close family (London) we are still doubtful and wonder whether we would be happier somewhere else (Spain). London seems to make more sense, as especially I, know the area, have family there and I could pursue my career in fashion more easily and with more options.

    Spain is neck-deep in public debt and the level of unemployment (20 %) is terrifying. Instead of embracing my possible new home all I can think of is the negatives: the weather, the high rent, how we wont be able to afford a lot of things we are used to, etc.

    Day in day out I'm paralysed and just want to crawl under a blanket.

    Sometimes I wish my brain was so much simpler and maybe all the "what if"s and other scary thoughts would simply not occur. Maybe like that I could just get on with it.

    Adore your blog, btw xxxxx


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