Saturday, 31 December 2011

The end of 2011.

Looks around to check she isn't listening.

Phew, that 2011 was a bitch on wheels wasn't she?

I'm not going to lie, I'd rather have a smear test with a sandpaper speculum than have to repeat this year again. If they say that some things are sent to try us then 2011 was sent to try and break me.....

But guess what.....................

It failed. You know what? If anything, 2011 has made me a stronger person. I've discovered that I can overcome things that probably would have broken me before.

I am going to wash off the negativity of 2011 like it was a shit shower.

Instead, I will focus on the good stuff.



(I'm kidding)

SO If I disregard the usual blah blah about having the warmth and love of my family (sticks fingers down throat) and just get to the bits that might interest you all.

I have just completed my first full year of blogging!!!!!!!!
(If no-one claps here then I will sulk, I swear I will)

Last year around about this time I made the point that I don't think the New Year is the best time to make resolutions It's the same reason I never start a diet on a Monday, If you break your diet on the Tuesday then you think that you might as well wait till the following Monday to start again (you know it's true) If I break a New Years resolution do I have to wait till the following January to try it again?

But I did make some little ones about starting to write a book (Which I've done) Improving my blog, (couldn't make it any worse could I?) Hugging my family (Meh) and getting fit and losing weight (Lost it, put it back on......... what can I say, I'm a work in progress)

This year my only resolution is to just keep on keeping on, whatever is thrown at me.

Treat everything as a lesson that I can learn from.

And 2011 certainly gave me some good lessons.

Let us be thankful for what we DO have.

Bring it 2012.

I'm ready for you.

Big Fashionista x x x

Do you have any New Years resolutions you are making?

Let me know.

Friday, 30 December 2011

Shopping with girls

I really didn't think that there was a way to make shopping in the sales more hellish than it already is.

I was wrong. In fact I was SO wrong, I wasn't even in the same postcode as wrong, I was in the area NEXT to wrong, which is reserved for things that are so wrong they couldn't possibly ever be right, because it is wrong.

I must have had a glass (bottle) or two over my usual limit as had I decided it would be great fun to take my eleven year old daughter and her two friends shopping in the sales for the day.

(Ok, it may have been that the choice was either shopping or a sleepover. I'm pretty, I'm not dumb)

Now I've been shopping with my daughter before, but I never knew what a minefield I was walking into when I agreed she could bring some friends.

Did you know there were rules?

Well no-one told me!!!!!!!!!


My outfit.

I had to be checked and approved before I could leave the house. (The Converse could stay, the hat with ears had to go) The jeans and checked shirt was seen as acceptable (with just a couple of disappointed looks thrown my way occasionally) and the Lipsy bag was bargained over as a loan to daughter and denied. (Chalk one up to mum)

Luckily I am a quick learner, I learnt almost immediately that I was NOT allowed to walk with the girls, five or steps behind was fine but if by chance they met up with someone they knew I had to be alert enough to dive into a nearby shop like I was hiding from the taxman (Covers eyes, he can't see me can he?)

I was not allowed to make conversations with my daughters friends, the only time I asked if they were having fun I was rewarded with an eye roll from my daughter and giggles from the friends.

Luckily I was allowed to sit and eat lunch with them, (Still no conversation) and then we went our separate ways for a while. I was like a dog being let off a leash, I wanted to bound up to people and say "hello, hello" (no face licking, I told you, I learn fast)  I was that starved of affection that if someone would have nodded to me as they walked past I would've showed them all my purchases and even modelled my new coat for them if they hadn't run away screaming by that point. (New coat. Republic, purchased with my Westfield christmas voucher, thank you in-laws)

An hour later and I was back in full-on mother mode. Five paces behind, holding the bags, no conversation. (The only way there could have been MORE rules for me was if I was on a list somewhere)

I was exhausted, they were hyped up on sugar and whatever crack-like fumes they pump into the air at sales time.

I felt like I had been through the wringer, they were wondering if they could stay for a couple more hours.

I felt old, they felt like staying a couple more hours.

A few hours later................... and I put my Converse clad (oh I'm SO down wiv da kidz) foot down, we were going home. 

At which point all the girls actually made direct eye contact with me, (direct, I could have wept with gratitude!!) and said "Thanks so much for bringing us today Kellie, we really appreciate it"

to which I replied, "No problem girls, shall we do it again next weekend?"

Bites tongue off and feeds it to self.

Ooooooooooh those clever, clever girls........................................................

I reckon I've been played, what do you think?

And next time I'm wearing my hat with ears, they can like it or lump it.

What do you think, have you experienced the "rules" when shopping with your children. Are there any more rules I need to watch out for NEXT TIME. (kicks self)

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x x

Saturday, 24 December 2011

You are not alone

So this is my last post for the next couple of days as it is Christmas eve.

A time for joy, family and happiness.

Sadly, not everyone experiences this at christmas and for some, this time can be a dark and lonely time or a time when emotions such as depression can be heightened.

You may be one of those people. You may have come across this blog post by chance, or someone may have forwarded it to you to read.

Consider it fate.

 I don't want you to feel alone this Christmas.

I don't want you to feel depressed or lonely.

If you feel that you have hit rock bottom and you feel empty inside, If you can see the lights twinkling in other peoples windows, hear the laughter of your neighbours and yet you experience no joy, as if the world is a dark place in which you see no place for yourself any more.

Or if you feel that you are ready to make a change.

I want you to pick up the phone......................


0300 123 3393


08457 90 90 90

Alcoholics Anonymous

0845 769 7555


Info line 08000 50 20 20

London Lesbian and Gay Switchboard

0207 837 7324


0845 767 8000

Preventing young suicide

For people in Northern Ireland

0808 808 8000


0800 1111



0808 2000 247

Eating Disorders Association

0845 634 1414

0808 800 4444

NHS Direct

0845 4647

No Panic

0808 808 0545

If you need someone, please call one of these numbers. You are NOT alone over Christmas, there are people out there that care, I care.

I wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Love Always

Kellie (Big Fashionista)

Friday, 23 December 2011

Christmas Traditions

Everyone has different traditions at Christmas and has things that they certainly wouldn't do at any other time of the year. (No, not that, that's for birthdays. Special ones)

We listen to christmas songs, we see a hell of a lot of Michael Buble (Does he get put in storage for the rest of the year? Or in someones basement perhaps?) we decorate our houses in lights and colours that, let's be honest here really don't go together and we drink vile concoctions that wouldn't usually get through the door any other month than November!!

Yes Advocaat, I'm talking about you.

Seriously, the stuff is vile, but the minute A Fairytale In New York starts playing at the end of November, I start to crave it like a strung out crack whore.

"Snowball Kellie?"

"Don't mind if I do"

You just can't help it, the stuff looks like Santa cum and yet we drink it by the bottle load.

For me, my guilty christmas drink is Sheridans. Oh I love it so much, Do you know the stuff?

Flip the lids, pour the drink, the cream goes to the top, dark liquer to the bottom, you drink it, refill your glass and repeat until you fall down (that part might just be me)

Would I drink it in July?

Hell no, if it waved at me from the shelf I would pass by it, acting like I didn't even know its name. (Stone cold cut it dead)

Sorry about that, I more than make up for it in December though.

Erm............................. Drink Responsibly people (That's the disclaimer sorted then)

What do you do at Christmas that usually you wouldn't.

(I'd say keep it clean, but hey, it's Christmas)

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x

Thursday, 22 December 2011

Still better than coal right?

So while Santa is making a list and checking it twice, the chances are that somewhere out there you have a family member who is feeling ever so smug because they think they have already got you exactly what you want and need.

They really should have checked with you because what we have discovered is that people are still receiving gifts that are, let's not be polite here...... crap.

Speaking to the lovely @HelenJNT from yesterday about bad presents led to putting out a twitter call for you to tell us the worst gifts that you have ever received.

Some of you have been either REALLY naughty, given out signals that yes, you really do want a ladyshave for christmas or your family just panic bought for you!!!

I don't know about you Helen, but I started to feel really grateful for all that I get.

Want a list?

Quite a few Ladyshaves

Pot pourri seems to be a quite popular, especially from your Secret santa. God knows why, the stuff is just awful (bet I get about 3 packets now)

Just a small tip out there for all the men currently flicking through the Argos book in a panic. NO KITCHEN ITEMS. I don't care if your lady has said that it is about time you bought a new toaster/washing machine/hoover there is NO WAY she wants it for christmas. she is not dropping hints to santa. Don't do it. just don't. Otherwise it won't just be chestnuts roasting on an open fire, you might find yours being thrown on as well.

Other gifts? VHS videos seem to be a popular from the older generation (Cue the young uns going, whats a video?) There were mutterings about American Tan tights as well!!!! Poor Grace.

The main theme that seemed to run through the bad gift giving was it wasn't the amount of money spent, it was the lack of thought. Champagne for a teetotaller. Steak knives for a vegetarian. See, no thought!!!

So whether you are spending £5 or £500 per person this christmas (If you are spending £500, call me. I need a couple of things) why not take the time to be thoughtful this christmas. You know what they like really, you just panicked. Breathe, and go shop with belief.

And step away from the Pot Pourri.

Have you had any awful presents that you need to share with the world. As always feel free to leave your comments anonymously (Only about gifts, no trolls please, it's christmas) if you want to.

Can't wait to see what you got while I sit here and wrap this hairbrush for Mr Fashionista (You have to see him to get it)

Let us know

Big Fashionista

Wednesday, 21 December 2011

A Facebook question for you to help with

So I am a huge fan of Facebook. Ok, I do get bored of all the Farmville updates and people wanting magic beans, and to poke me and what-nots, but the arguments between old school friends and the occasional drunken picture (erm, not mine, honest) do mostly make it worthwhile.

Very, very occasionally there is a status that really gets me thinking and the other day a Facebook friend called Sarah asked a question that got my brain cells firing on all cylinders

What is the difference between "seeing" someone and "dating" someone?


Now let me give you a bit of background on me so that you understand why I don't know the answer.

I have been in a relationship with the same man for the last 17 years, we have three beautiful children together and experience the normal highs and lows of any normal relationship.

I can't possibly answer the question that Sarah asks.

But maybe you guys can.

Is there a time when a relationship goes from seeing to dating?

What is the difference between seeing and dating anyway?

Let me know what you think it is.

Facebook needs to know

Big Fashionista x x

Tuesday, 20 December 2011

Chunky Children

So childhood obesity is still on the rise and all I keep hearing about lately is fat kids, larger school uniforms, bigger car seats and upsizing meal deals.

People are wringing their hands in despair and saying we are sending our children to an early grave and wailing what can we doooooooooooooooooo to help our poor cuddly (large) kiddies (Add your own hand wringing and wailing)

Well, all those dieticians and Gillian McKeith type people can just kiss my big (huge) backside because I know EXACTLY what has caused the rise in chunky children and I know how to solve childhood obesity problem once and for all.

Lets put the E numbers back into kids food.

I'm serious, All those kids hyped up on additives + sugar never sat still. I know that as a kid I would be running around like a loon and man was I skinny (ok, I wasn't but just nod and agree with me, it's christmas) When I was younger I never saw a child hopped out of his brain on E122 and E221 sitting still long enough to chew down on 3 Mars bars, 2 bowls of pasta and 2 Pizzas before dinner time did you? (anyone else hungry now?)

All this time we thought we were doing our children a favour by banning certain E numbers, instead we were just making them lazy and fat.

Tut tut,

It's health and safety gone insane I tell you.

Lets put the E numbers back into the kids food, if only for a little while. They will run their fat arses off in a couple of months (literally) Ok, so they won't sleep, they may have a nervous twitch or three, and an annoying rash that no creams can shift, but no more childhood obesity.

That has to be a good thing right?


Bite me Daily Mail.

Takes tongue out of cheek.

What do you think?

Will it work?  ;-D

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x
(Disclaimer; I'm kidding, I'm kidding, how irresponsible do you think I am? Downs sunset yellow for giggles)

Sunday, 18 December 2011

Creations By Charlotte

Todays small business I want to show you is run by someone who I actually spent a lot of my teen years with, A fab friend who I only recently got back in touch with via the power of Facebook.

We had so much fun (including the time we almost killed her brother when we left him alone when we were meant to be looking after him because he was sick, turns out he had appendicitis!!! Who knew) and it is a true honour to be able to feature her new business

Creations By Charlotte

If you need party bags for a childrens party, or as gift for a new baby then look no further than

Fantastic service and some really gorgeous products, not only will you take the stress out of your childs party you will also be the envy of other parents out there for your originality.

Heres a selection of just some of the things that Creations By Charlotte can offer you.

There are so many other cute things on the site, perfect for timesaving and looking thoughtful. Go take a look

What do you think?

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x x

Saturday, 17 December 2011

LouLous Luxuries

As it is the weekend it is time to celebrate some more small businesses and today is the rather lovely LouLous Luxuries.

This one is a very important one to me as the lovely Kerry has been a huge supporter of my weekend blogs supporting other small businesses.

So we are all about the jewellery here today and we are talking vintage and vintage inspired jewellery and I have picked out a few of my favourite pieces for you to whet your appetite with before sending you on your way over to the website

Aren't they all gorgeous pieces?

The Dance of the Peacock vintage pearl necklace above is just absolutely stunning don't you think and is only £17.00 (nudges Santa)

What is your favourite piece?

What are you going to buy?

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x

Friday, 16 December 2011

Nom or Vom

So who shall we do today, I thought I would go a little different this week and go with.....................................................................

Now before you all report me or get me some help, (actually, that isn't a bad idea) have you SEEN who voices Handy Manny???????

This weeks Nom or Vom is

Wilmer Valderrama

So what do we think?

Could he be your Handy Man-ny?

or should he keep his tools in his box?

Let me know,

Nom or Vom

Big Fashionista x x

Thursday, 15 December 2011

Do good things come to those that wait?

They say that patience is a virtue.

Well I never once said I was virtuous (check my blog posts, not one mention of virtue anywhere, I promise you)

Yesterday (which is actually today as I am writing this Wednesday night, confused? stick around, it can only get worse) I found out I had a parcel delivered which went to my neighbour.

By the time I found out this parcel had been delivered, (which incidentally wasn't by the courier company because they neglected to put a card through my door, Thanks Fedex, glad I can help you contribute to saving the environment one piece of card at a time) my neighbour had gone out.

Now I don't known where the hell she has gone but it is 9.45pm and I am pacing like a worried parent because she still isn't back. (I really should put this woman on a curfew)

and I'm not sure but I think I can hear my parcel weeping through the walls!!! What kind of rude person takes in a parcel for you and then goes out until it's late. It is a school night!, I want my parcel and she has kidnapped it.

I think I am well within my rights here to kick down her door and go and rescue my parcel from her evil clutches. I could say that I smelt smoke or something and while I was in there checking the house for any fires (what a hero) I thought I might as well take my parcel at the same time. (See what a considerate neighbour I am) Erm, their is cake missing from your fridge? Nothing to do with me I promise (wipes crumbs)

I have zero patience, if I knew where my birthday presents were I would open them,
and then re wrap them so no-one knew. I am terrible like that. I can't wait for anything.

It is why I rarely online shop. Wait for delivery? Hell no (especially with the parcel snatcher next door) I want to buy it and take it with me. I hear you can sometimes die of old age before your ASOS parcels arrive anyway!!!

I am really unhappy about my neighbour going out while being in charge of my Japonesque parcel. She wouldn't leave my child unsupervised, what is the difference? (I think I'm looking forward to receiving this parcel more to be honest, If she was in charge of my children, I would be the one out and uncontactable) I have been in since 2pm ish. So she has been out for almost 8 hours without a care in the world for my parcel!!! She probably hasn't left it any water or room to roam around. (and if her small dog has even LOOKED at my parcel while hearing the sound of a running tap I will make ear muffs out of it)

If she is much longer I will have to pull the tumble drier trick on the next parcel I take in for her. (ten minutes on a cool setting, thud, thud, thud, thud, round and round it goes, will it break? who the hell knows)

I am waiting for my parcel from Japonesque and quite honestly I am really excited to be receiving it. This wait is half killing me.

Like I said, I'm not a patient person.

What would you be doing in my position? 

Anyone care to help me burglarise back my own property? I have to be within my rights to go and rescue it don't I?

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x

Wednesday, 14 December 2011

Away in a Danger-Nativity plays from hell.

It is that time of year when as parents we are at our busiest and yet the schools our little darling cherubins attend ALWAYS insist on putting on nativity plays when to be quite honest I would rather be out doing my Christmas shopping, or something equally exciting and enjoyable (like the dentist, without anaesthetic )

I'm free in June, any chance we can reschedule?

Apparently not.

As Ms Hirons would say, HOW RUDE!!!!

As there is no getting out of the obligatory nativity play, I might as well enjoy it.

This means embracing all the hell that goes along with it.

Firstly this involves watching a lot of side-eye in the playground at the mothers of those children picked to be angels, this stems from our wish as children to be picked as an angel and never getting chosen because we were SOOOOOOOO GOOD AT READING WE ALWAYS GOT CHOSEN AS THE NARRATOR. WHO WANTS TO BE THE NARRATOR, I WANTED TO BE AN ANGEL, JUST ONCE, BUT NOOOOOOOOOOO, IT WAS ALWAYS CLARE DIXON, BECAUSE SHE WAS BLONDE AND PRETT......................................

(composes self)

So firstly there is the grief over the angels,

Then the next problem is the part of Mary & Joseph.

(Sigh. Some people are still not talking after the great Mary and Joseph casting of 2006)

Once the parts have been allocated, sneered over and accepted, the next problem to face are the outfits. (God I miss Woolworths) Shepherd? Simple, add a tea towel. Kings? some cardboard and some foil for a crown. Angels? A white sheet (like I give a stuff-sulks a bit) 

A DONKEY!!!!!!!!!!

Oh sweet baby Jesus, how do I do a Donkey?

(A small tip, never attempt to staple on a tail, it will only end in tears)

So we have our part, our costume, our ticket.........

Our ticket? Uh ho. This kicks up a whole new issue. Is your ticket numbered? It is easier to get a front row ticket to watch Rihanna than a front row ticket to a nativity play. (It always seems to be the same smug faced parents in the front row, have you ever noticed that?) If it isn't numbered, then it is like queueing for an H&M collaboration, come prepared, come early, wear heels. (it may get nasty)

You grab your seat and there on stage are the little cherubins, The best Nativity plays are the ones with the younger children. Reception, Nursery, Year One. Like I said, if I have to spend my time sitting there then I damn well want to be entertained by an Angel announcing they need a wee halfway through Away in a Manger. (tee hee)

Plus you usually get the gift of Gold, Frankenstein and Mud (Always a classic) and Mary dropping the baby Jesus on its head.

Children of that age have no shame either, they sing at the top of their voices, they announce they need the toilet, they wave at their mums and occasionally they shout out that the person next to them has farted (Everyone laughed but the childs parents, they sunk down to the bottom of their seats and refused to make eye contact with anyone for the next three years)

Ok, I admit it, I love the time of the Nativity plays. I wouldn't miss them for the world.
They are an hour or so of pure Christmas.

What do you think? Are you a fan of the Nativity plays? Are you like me and enjoy the whole occasion as an event and most importantly.................

Do you have any nativity stories you want to share with me.

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x

Tuesday, 13 December 2011

Cupboard Jenga

So, after being feeling extremely clumsy lately, I have decided that I am in fact NOT a complete uncoordinated mess, I have just created a brand new game which anyone can play.

Cupboard Jenga

Best played in the kitchen it is a truly simple game that can leave you in stitches (and I'm not talking in a laughing way either)

Now you have to bear in mind that I am 5ft 4in and for some reasons my cupboards are really high. I'm really not very good at this game.

What you need to do is reach into your cupboard and pull something out. (I know, simple right?) If you can pull out the item? Well done, you are a winner. (smartarse)

If (like me) you attempt to take something out of the cupboard and tins and other kitchen products rain down upon you like lightning bolts thrown from Zeus,

You are playing Cupboard Jenga.

This game is not suitable for persons 3 or under.

In fact this game is not suitable for anyone really. Lately I have got quite an expert at losing at this game.

I have discovered that tins of beans hurt. A tub of cotton buds will always hit the floor and scatter like children from a broken window. Pot Noodles are the devils work and can do triple back somersaults to make sure they catch you on the head with the sharp edge (Pot Noodles are, in my opinion the devils work anyway) and no matter how many attempts you make to catch the crushed chilis you never, EVER will and you will be finding them for weeks on the worktop and floor (bloody git things)

The best cupboard to use to learn how to play this game is probably the medicine cupboard, (although if you get hit with a bottle of Night Nurse, you will probably need a bloody nurse, and don't sue me, I don't got nuffink) I'm not judging you but if you have a nice soft cupboard full of tablet boxes then you might want to start there. (Diclofenac boxes falling on your head are like kisses from angels)

If you have children and you have a cupboard full of packed lunch stuff then chances are you have played Cupboard Jenga at one point or the other in your life. Give me a packet of cheesy wotsits falling on my head over a KitKat Chunky any day of the week (Although if a KitKat chunky falls out of the cupboard, that badboy is MINE)

Another place that is damn scary to play Cupboard Jenga is the cupboard full of tins, Why is the tin I want always behind the suicide tins? The suicide tins are the ones just waiting to jump out of the cupboard every time I open the door. And if they are going down, they are taking me with them. I never win at Cupboard Jenga in the tin cupboard, I've given up even trying. (I let the children climb on the worktops like little Growler Monkeys and pass me down what I need)

Really when I think about it, Cupboard Jenga is not a fun game to play, but I bet at least a couple of you out there are playing it, and now at least you know what it's called.

Do you play Cupboard Jenga?

How did you get on?

Any scars?  Or do you have some handy tips for me to help me dodge falling tins?

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x

Monday, 12 December 2011

My Daddy

Today is always a hard day for me. It is the anniversary of my dads death.

While everyone else has their christmas lights glittering and twinkling, mine will be off.

Just for the one day. I don't like to see their cheer today. In a way I feel like they are just mocking me with their festive cheer.

I don't try to be happy today or force a smile. That is for the other 364 days of the year. Then I like to celebrate my dads life, but just for this one day the sadness overwhelms me and I miss my daddy terribly.

Rest in Peace Daddy

I miss you

Kellie x x

Sunday, 11 December 2011

One Stop Pamper Shop

So we have had shoe condoms, bags, jewellery and todays small business is all about candles and bath bombs.

For me candles and bath bombs go together like wine and a straw (Ok, that might just be me though) and a really fab company that I love is One Stop Pamper Shop.

The candles are absolutely lovely, a great long lasting scent that look as good as they smell.

I talk quite regularly to the owner Maryann who is absolutely lovely, in fact not only is One Stop Pamper online, she has recently opened a shop!!!! How cool is that?

Let me show you just a few of the huge range of candles and bath products that One Stop Pamper Shop sell.

You would be absolutely amazed at what good value these products are.

The Gingerbread bath bomb is just £1.91 at the moment.

The Robins Nest Bath Brulee is just £2.54 and everything has 15% off across the site.

There is still time to purchase in time for Christmas so go and take a look at One Stop Pamper Shop

What do you think?

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x

Supporting small businesses

Saturday, 10 December 2011

Flonightingale Jewellery.

After the success of last weekends blog posts promoting small businesses I decided to make it a regular series.

Today I am focusing on the fabulous jewellery from Flonightingale.

I am a massive fan of statement jewellery and after browsing on the site

I am sure you will be too.

(ps, Santa if you are reading, I would adore the Octopus necklace)

Want to take a look at some of my favourite pieces?

This is a TOTAL statement piece. LOVE, ADORE, NEED

Seriously cute and kitsch. £6.00!!!!! I could buy this for soooo many people, and they do lots of different types. Fruit pastilles anyone?

Perfect for the crafty ones amongst you. Me, I can't cut corners let alone be craft-like

 Awwwwwwwww I love this.

Geek chic at it's finest!!!!!!!!!

Go and check out Flonightingale jewellery.

Plus you still have a little time to order and receive in time for christmas. All items are giftwrapped and in this day and age it is important to support small businesses such as this.

Let me know what you think of the site, I love it and I hope you will do too.

Big Fashionista x x

Supporting small businesses.

Friday, 9 December 2011

Nom or Vom

It's Friday. Now for the rest of the week I like to play it all (mostly) serious but come Friday I think it is time to have a little fun and be downright shallow.

If you are new to the Nom or Vom party, this is how it works.

I post pictures of a hot male celeb and then you can just grade them like meat.

See, shallow. (It is what Fridays were made for isn't it?)

So let us start with todays offering of male hotness.

Jon Bon Jovi

Now, never have I typed a name into my computer and SO many pictures come up!!!
I was literally spoilt for choice.

Including one or two like this!!!!

Rude not to really don't you think?

Want to see some more pics?

(At this point I am starting to think that I have seen puddles deeper than this blog post)

So what do we think ladies and gentlemen?

Nom or Vom?

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x

Thursday, 8 December 2011

Blogging advice.

Hello fellow bloggers, are you sitting uncomfortably?

Then I will begin.

There will be snacks provided at the interval and kittens to play with for those that get easily distracted.

(Step away from the kitten guys, after four lines is not an acceptable time to get distracted)

The blogging community is an amazing place, but there are a lot of people out there that are just starting out that perhaps need a little guidance.

Now I'm not here to teach anyone how to suck eggs so for those of you that are blog geniuses you are excused to go and play with the kittens, but leave the snack table alone for now ok?

Do you have a new blog? Do you look at those bloggers out there that talk about being sent a product to try out and want to know how to get in on it?

STOP right there. If you are just in it for the freebies then you are going to be sadly disappointed.

The sacred rule of blogging? Don't beg for samples. Just don't.

Feel free to contact PR companies to introduce yourself, follow your favourite brands on twitter and facebook and learn all about all the fab new products that are being released and then go and purchase them with your own monies and then write about them. Send the link to the PR company who looks after the brand and then keep on blogging.

I am NOT going to say to you, and then after a while the PR company will send you free stuffs because that really isn't how it works, and if you are reading this and thinking, "So WHEN do I get free stuff" please feel free to go play with the kitties because I am honestly just trying to help you out here.

Blogging is really not about what you can get out of it. Blogging is hard work. Fun, but really hard work. What do I get out of it? Honestly? I just really enjoy writing. I'm not a beauty blogger, I just blog about beauty occasionally, (as well as anything else that interests me-My blog, my rules) For me it is all about the pleasure of writing, My reward is having people comment on my blogs (oooooh, you better comment)

I haven't been blogging for that long myself. This blog is 18 months old, still a baby really, but I am seeing more and more blogs popping up and if I can just help one new blogger from making the mistakes that others, including me, have made then I think this was a blog worth writing.

Another important lesson a new blogger can learn is all about getting your own identity. This takes time. If you read back my first few months worth of blogs (For gods sake, don't)  then my writing was completely different. It takes time to develop your identity. What do you like to write about? Beauty? Fashion? Sex? Food? Write about what interests YOU. Go for it, just write. Over time your style will develop and your readers will come. let it be natural, don't force it.

And for gods sake get your own ideas. Don't steal them from fellow bloggers, it doesn't matter how amazing you think they are. Get your own fabulous ideas, stealing them from other bloggers is just lazy and people WILL notice. And then you will be known for all the wrong reasons. Who wants that? You will get great ideas for blogs of your own, you will. How would you like it if you had a fabulous idea for a blog and then someone stole it for themselves?

Blog unto others as you yourself wish to blog.

Does anyone need a kitten break?

Another thing that you really shouldn't worry about is the number of blog followers you have. I've been there, you can stress yourself out something stupid over why you only have ten followers when someone who started after you has twenty. or why your blog followers hasn't increased in days or weeks or why you have lost blog followers. Keep on writing, followers will come, your hits will increase and after a while you realise that these things aren't important. They really aren't.

Chat to your fellow bloggers, the social side of blogging is amazing and you can make some amazing friends, comment on other peoples blogs, but make sure you don't just write "visit my blog at www.blahblahblah" Nothing is more annoying than people who comment without commenting, if you know what I mean?

Right, the snack table is now open, go gather in the comment area and share some good advice for new bloggers. What do you wish that you had known when you first started out? What is your sacred rule of blogging?

and any new bloggers with any questions, feel free to ask for advice.

Big Fashionista x x

Wednesday, 7 December 2011

A hair-raising tale

I seem to have some sort of Movember thing going on with my legs at the moment.

What can I say, I'm cold.

It's like added insulation and it isn't as though I am going to be wearing skirts any time soon is it? (And if I do have to wear one, I can just say that mohair tights are so this season can't I?)

I should be ashamed of my bear-like legs, instead I just feel snuggly and if I am feeling sad I can always just stroke my own legs. (smooth, scratchy, smooth, scratchy)

(If I am bored, I could always sit there and plait them I suppose)

Is anyone else avoiding the razor or waxing lately?


Might just me then.

I'm looking for the positives here.

I am warm. (always a good thing, I feel the cold like a chihuaha with no coat on)

I can amuse my 5yr old daughter for hours, (give her some glittery hairclips and a brush and she can play legdressers)

I am saving on soap (Couple more days and I can just shampoo my legs)

and also it means less washing as I don't need to use towels anymore, I can just shake off like a wet dog. Or if I am feeling deliciously decadent I can just blowdry my legs.

And we won't even get started on my armpits huh?

(I have no excuse for that other than I am lazy)

But until I start eyeing up velvet scrunchies for my underarms I think I can get away with it. Right? right?

So, any other ladies out there rebelling against the razor at the moment?

Please don't let me be the only one.

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x

Tuesday, 6 December 2011

Bitch bank of insults

Back at the beginning of October (you know, when it was warm) I wrote a post about those little words that instantly cause offence "No offence but"

If you can be bothered why not reacquaint yourself with the post
here -------> No offence but

Since then it has been pointed out to me that "No offence but" is a mere pussy cat in the world of being offensive without anyone being able to pull you up on it.

and this new way is only three letters as well.

Now even lazy people can try to be a bitch.

I remember when being a bitch took actual work. You had to respect a true bitch because they had to work hard at it, it wasn't simple. Not everyone could do it. It took imagination and pure evil genius. (Yes I do mean me, I am permanently exhausted)

Now it is as easy as L O L

Thats it, LOL

or WORSE, A fricking smiley face.

"OMG, How FAT do you look in that dress? You look like a pregnant hippo LOL :-) "

Oh, you added a LOL, it's a joke, I get it. You added a LOL to take out the sting. So now it doesn't hurt.

And what's this?

A smiley face?

Oh how I laughed at your wit, your intelligence. You added a SMILEY to an insult. I see what you did there.

Now you could've gone down the "Just out of interest, are your parents siblings" route or even "Now I can totally see why some animals eat their young"

All are perfectly acceptable insults.

Instead laziness has just taken over. No-one tries any more. It's all "No offence but" "LOL" and smiley faces.

It's just poor bitching skills.

So hit me with your best insult.

We can create a bank of insults that people can just dip into whenever they need to.

Let me start you off.

Learn from your parents mistakes darling, use contraception.

Awwwww, don't let your mind wander, it is too little to go out alone.

He is so stupid he has to be watered twice a week

Have those ones on me.

What's your favourite bitchy put down or insult?

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x

Monday, 5 December 2011

An alibi waiting to happen

So after some quite serious "female issues" lately I had a conversation with my mother that went something like this.

"well don't forget darling, both your nan and I went through the menopause at 34"


Firstly, I'm 35.

Secondly, If I was going to be handed something genetically, I'd much rather have had long legs or blonde hair.

But no, I get a shortage of eggs instead.

So I need to turn this to my advantage.

Firstly, I may have to go shoplifting. Surely the menopause is a great alibi? Christmas is coming, I can say I shoved that ten pound turkey up my jumper to cool me down can't I? I could get the whole christmas dinner (as long as it's frozen goods) and just claim short-term memory loss due to the menopause.

I don't know many security guards who would go near a menopausal woman without a taser and a rope on a stick like the RSPCA people have do you?

"Did she say she was menopausal?"

"Oh Jesus, just let her have the turkey, we aren't allowed to carry Tasers anymore and I'm not going hand to hand with her"

Secondly, can I murder my other half and get away with it? It's the best excuse I can ever think of. Sorry officer, I stabbed him 40 times in the face because he looked at me funny.

I better hope for a female judge.

 It isn't fair. All I have in my future is night sweats, tears and a thickening midriff. If I was a guy I would be able to crave a motorbike or a sports car and they don't even have a real menopause!!!!!

Who decided that this was okay? Men I imagine. The have a mid-life crisis (oh boo hoo) and have collectively decided that this is a great excuse for a new car and a younger woman.

So I am going to start telling people that women at the start of a menopause it is the LAW that they all need to shop for a whole new wardrobe (no polyester allowed) and at least three new pairs of shoes.

Well if I can't get away with the shoplifting and the murder I might as well get something fun out of this.

Feel free to spread the word ladies, one day this will be you.

Although I might just have one go of the Turkey thievery. those bad boys are expensive.

Any other ideas what I might be able to get away with?

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x

Sunday, 4 December 2011

Feeling Randy

It just seems to be one of those weekends!!!!

Randybagz, fresh, cute and fun.

I actually know these ladies and have been out drinking with them, (Don't worry, those pictures will never see the light of day girls, what happens in Hornchurch, stays in Hornchurch)  I love it when people I know manage to set up a business and make something of it.

Recently showing at Essex Fashion Week and counting Vanessa Feltz as someone who is walking around with one of their bags, Randybagz have come from nowhere to become a huge success and 2012 is promising to be a huge year for them.

Want to check them out?

So cute and completely personalised, RandyBagz are perfect for gifts or even just for yourself.

Want to check them out for yourself? 

What do you think?

Big Fashionista x x

Saturday, 3 December 2011

Heel Condoms

Apart from the fact that I giggle now whenever I say the word Heel Condoms I am in total awe of this funky way to update your shoes.

If you have a plain pair of heels that you want to jazz up for the christmas party season then why not check these out?

All available from the price ranges from £14.99-£24.99

In fact go and have a proper browse, Pretty Pink Toes have some seriously innotive items on their site. From Cityclips, which clip up your trousers to keep them dry to TrendyTabs which you can attach to your credit cards to pull out of your purse and lots of other stuff you cant even begin to imagine. Christmas gifts GALORE to be found there I promise.

So do you want to see what heel condoms look like?

How pretty are these?


So cute for weddings.

Jazzing up a pair of neutral shoes

I love this style.

Funky huh?

I love them. I have a couple of pairs of plain court shoes that could do with jazzing up and this is the perfect way to do it and is cheaper than shelling out for a new pair of shoes for the party season.

So what do you think of the heel condoms (giggle)

And what do you think of the site?
Let me know

Big Fashionista x x

Friday, 2 December 2011

Nom or Vom

So there I am, sitting patiently watching Alan Carr, (No, not waiting for One Direction I promise-Lee Evans if you actually want to know) when all of a sudden a hotty turns up.
(No not Harry Styles, focus people)

Bear Grylls.

I've sort of caught glimpses of this guy before but honestly, living off the jungle is really not my sort of thing, although if he eats bugs and drinks his own urine he is pretty much set in being able to eat my food. (many men have tried, most have failed)

Shall we just get down to some pictures instead of running down my domestic skills?

Well there you go then, so what do we all think?

Nom or Vom?

Big Fashionista x x

Thursday, 1 December 2011

And the winner is..............................

And the winner of the Matalan competition is............................................


Congratulations hun. if you can email me some contact details to

Thanks to everyone who entered the competition.

Big Fashionista x x

It's the final countdown

So it is the first of December and as I am not so gently poked in the ribs by a five year old at 6.30 this morning asking how many of her advent chocolates should she have eaten! (I will not repeat my answer, I am not a morning person) I am sad because this year I don't have an advent calendar of my own yet.

This saddens me greatly.

There is something so magical and wonderous about opening a advent calender each day that I really am going to have to go out and buy myself one. I can't be without one.

And then I got to thinking

Someone is missing a trick here. I want to make advent calendars that are aimed specifically at a target market.

A mothers advent calender perhaps, it would go something like this.

Dec 1st
You open the door and a small valium 10mg drops out and on the back of the calendar instead of a picture of santa it says "That toy you wanted for your kid? It's sold out, you are now officially a crap mother"

Dec 3rd
Behind door number 3 is a minature bottle of gin and a note to remember to buy presents for the childrens teachers

Dec 7th
A small packet of tissues and a reminder to be prepared for the inevitable I need a sheep costume for TODAY whinge at 8.30am.

December 14th
2 valiums, and a note to find out exactly how many people you are cooking for this year and to find out which one of your children has decided to become a vegetarian at the last minute.

December 19th
My birthday :-D Which usually means all of the childrens assemblies fall on this day so no drunken lunch for me. Have 2 Valium AND a bottle of gin. Merry frickin christmas.

December 24th
A telephone number for The Priory would be helpful behind door 24 today, instead it is a reminder to get batteries, because there is always a toy which needs them and you don't have enough, although nowadays some shops are open, when I was a child I stared at a toy for THREE days as my parents had forgotten to get batteries for it!!!!!!

Anyone else think this calendar would be a best seller?

Can you think of what should be behind the other doors?
Or any other people that would benefit a targeted calendar?

Let me know, I'm off to hunt down an advent calendar and hide my little ones before she eats them all.

Big Fashionista x x x

Wednesday, 30 November 2011

Burning a hole in my pocket

Yesterday I was in the (very) unusual position of having some cash in my pocket. Real cash, quite a bit of it in fact.

Now it has been a bloody long time since this happened. I think the last time that I had money in my pocket that was mine to just splurge, I bought a ride on a dinosaur. (Disclaimer, I'm not really that old, I just FEEL it)

So I have this paper in my pocket with pictures of the queen on them. This money was quite unexpected and to spend it on bills would just be RUDE wouldn't it?

Well I think so anyway.

So there I was, walking around Lakeside, I had visions of myself walking out several hours later looking like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman (Without the prostitution bit obviously) carrying lots of lovely bags that would be choc full of treats.

Several hours later I walk out of Lakeside with the raving bloody hump! Did I buy anything?

Did I hell.

I couldn't even spend my money in Starbucks because the queue was so long. (NOT a happy bunny)

Why is it that when I have money I just can't spend it? I really can't.
It just isn't fair. When I am poor, I see so many products that I want and I just can't afford.

And now I can afford to live a little........................
I can't find anything that I want.

Now there are certain things that I am not allowed to buy as it is so close to christmas and also I have my birthday coming up.

(19th of December, thanks for asking)

But how can I not buy a SINGLE thing? That is just ridiculous. I feel like a failure.

I have the means to single-handedly help boost the economy and I am clinging on to it as desperately as Justin Bieber is his reputation (ooooh topical)

It didn't help that I was banned from spending it on the children. That's usually what happens isn't it? Mum gets some cash, the kiddies get some treats.

It HAS to be spent on me. And my brain just won't let me spend it!!!!!

I am going to have to have hypnotherapy or something to overcome this phobia of spending my own hard earned money.

Am I the only one who does this?

Or is this guilt pretty common?

Let me know

and if you have any ideas of what I can spend my money on, feel free to share

Big Fashionista x x

Monday, 28 November 2011

GlossyBox November box review

After my honest review of the October Glossybox last month I was pleasantly surprised when last week I unexpectedly received the November box from the Glossybox PR team.

As I mentioned last month I LOVE the concept of Glossy Box.

"5 basic luxuries from new brands and new products from brands that you have enjoyed in GlossyBox before"

That is the spiel you get with the box but this month I have to say I was sadly disappointed with the overall box.

When you open the box you are greeted by a big plastic bag of salts, now I am sure the product is lovely but overall the packaging doesn't say luxury to me. Plus personally the thought of putting salts near my va-jay-jay at any time when I don't have thrush really seems pointless to me.

Dead Sea Spa Magik Dead Sea Bath Salts are £5.50 for a 1kg bag, the bag in the box was 250g.

I'm sure they are lovely but for me they just don't scream luxury. (In fact they don't even whisper luxury to me in their little see-through plastic packaging)

The second product that I took out of the box was the Monu Recovery Balm, this is a full size product which retails for £16.95. I've never heard of Monu, and this is where GlossyBox works, introducing you to new brands you may never have had the chance  to try out before.
 I'm going to work out what I aacually do with this product before bringing you a more in-depth review in the future.

What is a recovery balm anyway?
Answers on a postcard please.

The third product out of the box was the Arbonne FC5 Ultra Hydrating Hand Creme, a sample size tube which is 15mls small. The full size product costs £19.00. I  had mixed feelings on this product. It is a perfect seasonal addition to the box and very hydrating but the smell leaves me nauseated. I really don't like it at all, When you first apply it starts off very citrusy with almost a washing up liquid frangrance, very fresh and clean but before you can truly appreciate it, it dulls down to almost a powdered love hearts sweets fragrance with an underlying smell of death and decay. (Vomits in mouth a little bit)

The fourth product out of the box was the Nail Rock Designer Nail Wraps £6.65 for 16 wraps. Now I am a huge fan of nail wraps and I have had a lot of practice at using them but these ones frustrated the LIFE out of me. I have wallpapered walls and ended up with less creases and air bubbles (that is a total lie, I have never wallpapered in my life, but you get the general idea I hope) the edges are extremely rough as well, Any other nail wraps I've tried come with a nail file but these ones didn't which made it a lot harder to smooth the edges. (I live in fear of having to wipe my bum, you just know these will tear through the paper-winces slightly)

I got the leopard skin nail wraps in my box, I know that there are different ones in different boxes but these ones are very me. Rawwrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Awful picture but you get the idea I hope.

Deep breath.

The final product in the box were two perfume samples.

Serge Lutens. L'Eau Serge Lutens and Vitriol d'Oeillet Full size 100mls £86, 50mls £78

Perfume samples? Again GlossyBox? Really?

Ok, here is what has got a lot of people more than slightly annoyed. Last month the box contained perfume samples, this month................. the box contained perfume samples.

Perfume samples are a lot more accessible for people than say for example samples of hand creme. If I want to try a new perfume then I can go to any department store and practically drown myself in perfume samples if that is what floats my boat. It seems to be a bit of an easy way out really.  It's like adding a whistle to a party bag, you know no-one really wants it but you have to make up the numbers somehow.

Another thing that has got the crowd riled is that some people got Serge Lutens and some people got Illamasqua Freak.

Now if GlossyBox would have got their shit together they could have had a winning box on their hands here. Freak isn't that easy to get hold of. A sample of this probably would have silenced the people (including me) who are disappointed in the overall box.

I have heard SO much about Freak and am desperate to smell it. I also understand that their has been grumbling (ok, out and out yelling) that people think that it was the bloggers who mainly got Freak in their boxes. Looks at self. Looks at box. Looks at self again. Well I can guarantee that little conspiracy theory isn't true. Dammit, I wish it was though. (stamps foot)

Less perfume samples GlossyBox please. It cheapens the whole idea for me. Or throw in the samples as a little bonus. Everyone likes to get a little sumting, sumting every now and then.

Overall this box really didn't rock my world. there wasn't a standout product for me in the box this month. Everything had the potential to be great but like a new song from Jessie J it just really hasn't lived up to it's hype.

I think the chances are this is the last box I will receive from GlossyBox but I look forward with interest to seeing what the December box holds, I really hope that they can dazzle and wow with the last box of the year. I still think that £12.95 isn't an extortionate amount to spend on trying a box like this each month but with the competition constantly increasing with new box companies seemingly appearing each month now is the time when Glossybox will either turn it around with something special or really begin to alienate their subscribers who will start to leave in droves.

How did you feel about your November GlossyBox?

Did you receive Freak in your box? Or would you have liked to?

OR were you completely happy with your box and think I am talking crap?

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x x
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