Tuesday, 11 January 2011

A change in my life - Part 2

Last Thursday I blogged about my youngest daughter starting nursery. You can refresh your memory             ---> HERE

Almost a week into my new life............................ I don't like it. That lost soul at the school gates holding back the tears isn't my daughter, it's me. The person holding onto every second before 9am? That's me as well.

It's time to face it....... I'm suffering Empty Nest Syndrome.

For ten years now I have been somebodys No1. My house may have been filled with noise but that noise was laughter (mainly) and the sound of a childrens tv channel permanently playing in the background, I had toys underfoot and I swear to you that I usually put the same toys away at least five times each day but I had children that depended on me and needed me.

I miss that.

It's strange but it feels like I am done. My role is complete. I have passed the last child over to the care of the school and basically I have been made redundant (without a redundancy pay-off may I add)

Yes, I know that I am still needed. There are dinners to cook, and cash to be be dished out, but is that the extent of it from now on?

I thought that from now, every day would be filled with freedom, instead it just feels like a stretch of time that needs to be filled.

I'm sure that in time I will adjust and find ways to fill the days. but at the moment it just feels ................honestly? Quite lonely.

I feel like an ex-lifer who has been given parole and still hasn't found a way to fully re-integrate back into society.

Are there any other parents out there that found this period of transition hard?

I would love to hear from you.

In the meantime, If you see a sobbing mother at the school gates, give her a hug, she may need it.


Big Fashionista x x
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10 comments

  1. Just wrote a long comment and lost it...grr...big hug to you babe! You are far far from done. Im not a mum but I still need mine, even when i profess to be all grown up!

    When you are done sobbing you'll go out and do all the utterly fabulous things you may not have had time to do in the last 10 years.

    Your kids will always need you...for cash, yes sometimes (Bank of Mum is good!) but moreover because you are their mum & you'll always be there for them.

    S x

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  2. Im dreading Harvey going to Nursery. Really dreading it. Just like I dreaded it with Anton. Everyone keeps saying "you need to put his name down for school now" but I don't want to :( I dont want my baby to go and be looked after by someone else all day, Im so soft. Im going to miss him so much.

    I cried for days and days when Anton went to Nursery. He loved it, running off playing with the kids and I was there with a bloody tear in my eye for about a week not wanting to leave him.

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  3. At least your daughter is going in happily. Imagine if, like mine, they had to peel her legs off your waist and gently tell you to leave so they could calm her down! Most awful part of kids going to school for me. Sobbed in the car for days! You'll be cool - imagine you can go to the gym in the day now with no worries! :) Wendyprgenie xx

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  4. I totally relate to how you feel. I found it awful when mine started school.

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  5. you will be ok *big hug*
    Just give it some time, us humans don't like change ONE bit, but we adapt to it surprisingly well, every time.

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  6. Huge hugs x

    I was at home with my boy from the day he was born until the day he started school, a week before his 5th birthday. After I dropped him off, I spent the morning wandering round the house, not a clue what to do. The house was too quiet, and I kept imagining all the worst scenarios - "he won't like it, he won't get along with anyone, he might fall, he might get pushed..." and wound myself up in a knot. I ended up with a headache from crying so much. So instead, I took up blogging, cooking, gardening, went back to cross-stitch, started walking and now the time flies - this is your time, do something for YOU.

    Remember - you're still the first face they want to see in the morning and the last one at night. You are the only person in the whole entire world that they can call Mum. That's pretty special. xxxx

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  7. See it as a transition phase, it will get better. You just need to rediscover yourself as a person, because you've been "sacrificing" yourself for your children IYSWIM.

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  8. I feel the opposite is true. You're now MORE important as a parent. The school system has its failings that we're all aware of and as time goes by your kids will be exposed to issues, bad teaching and set backs. That's without even looking at the "lovely" kids they'll be mixing with. As they grow, you have to be the foil to all of that stuff and steer them towards ultimately becoming the best person and adult that they can be. Good luck, it's the most important thing you can do as a parent.

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  9. When my youngest went to school it was both of us sobbing at the school gate. She had to be gently peeled off me... and I had thought the second would be easier!

    She's now seven and all that is a distant memory. We're busier than ever and I love the all too brief respite during the school days when I can do (ie avoid doing) the housework in peace.

    Your role is far from over - it's just beginning!

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  10. Thanls for your kind words everyone.

    Got my gym induction tomorrow so hopefully I will feel better doing that x

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