Monday, 28 March 2011

Pass me the drugs

So all the celebs are currently dropping their sprogs at the moment and soon all the "Exclusive" interviews will be turning up in the magazines and I will start my usual ritual of foaming at the mouth and ripping up glossies like Cujo on crack.

I used to think that NOTHING could annoy me more that celebs appearing three weeks after giving birth in skinny jeans and crop tops.

And then................................................

I found something that did. (Anyone else not really surprised by that?)

Celebrities that bleat on about giving birth without pain relief.

(Dabs delicately at corner of the mouth)

What the hell do you want luv. A fricking medal?

I've given birth three times, It's painful. THAT is why there is such a thing a pain relief..... Relief from pain, it's so simple. (Even a Z-lister should be able to get it)

Would you go to the dentist to have a tooth pulled and say "No, no, No pain relief this time, I want to really FEEL the experience" (IF the answer is yes, Allow me to add to the experience with a slap)

I blame Katie Holmes.

With her "no pain relief and not even a sound passing her lips" birth.

No wonder she hasn't had any more children.

For TWO of my children I didn't have any pain relief. Not because I didn't want it but purely because however loudly I yelled for drugs the cows in the next room yelled louder. (bitches)

But am I proud of the fact? Hell no, sometimes I mist up at the thought that I will never experience an epidural (or gas and air). I feel slightly cheated.

I'm not smug about it like some of the Celebs out there.


Stop it with your belittling of mothers, Celebs. It seems that you aren't content with fitting into hot pants while us normal mothers are still in vomit and milk stained PJs. (or was that just me) Now you want to make us feel like failures for accepting Pain relief!!!!!

Sorry ladies, I'm not jumping on that bandwagon. I'm up for taking every bit of help that is offered.

So mums-to-be out there on top of gas and air, pethadine, epidurals and any other pain relief out there may I highly recommend biting down on a rolled up, glossy celeb-new-mum-interview-filled magazine.

In fact chew right through that crap. you may find it helps. But don't forget to ALSO take the pain relief IF you want to.

What's your opinion on the matter x

Big Fashionista x x x


  1. To be honest i'm on the fence a bit with this one. My first son i had every drug going and although it was probably slightly less painful, i was so drugged up that i can't remember that first hr or so which is sad really as those first few hrs are some of the most precious ones.

    With my second son i had gas and air. They tried an epidural but it didnt work eeek so i had no choice really but to just get on with it and yes it was agony but straight after was amazing.

    Saying all that i think everyones pain threshold is so different and each to there own. I think there is no shame in lots of drugs but women should be made more aware of the after effects.
    Sorry about the essay :)

  2. Haha you're so like me! I had no pain relief with my two, but not through choice, because it was too damn fast with both of them. I was screaming for pethidine with Harvey and the midwife was like "Its too late Joanne" so I refused to push haha. I have a phobia of birth now, because I was adamant I was going to have pain relief with Harvey, but once again I had a rapid birth. Now Im too scared to even think about another baby, because I know it'll be another fat one and I'll have no choice but to do it naturally again. Fook that!

  3. That was funny and i sooooo agree with you, what they also dont tell you is that they have live in nanny's that watch there kids while they head off with there personal trainers while they ger "back in shape" and lets not forget the chefs that cook them fresh healthey food that consist off 100 calories per meal.

    Im sure if i could afford all that i too would be looking fabulous in my size 8 jeans with freashly blow dried hair and blowing my french manicured nails dry, saying this mother larks a breeze!!!

  4. Caroline Endersbee28 March 2011 at 10:42

    Written in large capital letters at the top of my birth plan. DRUGS!! to be given as early as possible and as often as required.

    With my second child I had to beg, plead, shout etc to get an epidural, when the midwife suggested a paracetamol instead I nearly took her head off!

  5. They took my lovely drugs away. They had the injection all ready to go, then checked and said I was fully dilated and had to push. I begged for about 5 minutes to get that injection (WHILE I was pushing, childbirth police) all to no avail.

  6. He he love this post! I had no pain relief on no.1. Because I was too far a long when I got to hospital and no.2 had pethadine which was horrible experience wouldn't recommend it to anyone felt off my face didn't help with pain at all ! Might as well of gone au natural lol. Everyones different bragging is belittling to other mums just unnecessary

  7. I'm not maternal. Not even a teeny bit. I don't especially like babies, although I'm a big fan of small children saying inappropriate or profound things at exactly the right/wrong time.

    That said, if I ended up pregnant you'd better believe I'd want every possible drug going. Ultimately, a little person is clawing its way out of a very small opening. If that doesn't warrant high levels of medication, I don't know what does.

    As you said, you wouldn't have a tooth pulled without painkillers, it's no different. Why put yourself through it if you don't have to?

  8. Totally agree! Hate the way celebs think they are super human? yeah right! Better than everyone else and always complaining the paprazzi mob them! I hate celebrity culture! Its the dowon fall of our society! xx

  9. I did 7 hours of ridiculously hard labor with my son. Not because I wanted to, but because our tiny little town only has 1 doc qualified to administer them, and for some reason, a big thing in the ER took priority over ME. Ugh.

    There is no prize for enduring that amount of pain. Take. The. Drugs.

  10. I had contractions every 3 minutes from the start of my labour, so believe me after 15 hours of contractions I was so intolerant to pain and exhausted that I would have taken anything for an easy life !
    I remember after pushing for what felt like ages the obstetrician said "baby's stuck, we're going to have to use the ventouse, it should take about 15 minutes"... I remember replying "thank God for that !"
    Plus with gas and air I had an out of body experience... you won't have that if you're not having any pain relief !
    It's all up to you really, but there's no shame in having had pain relief, and no glory in not having had any !


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