Tuesday, 17 May 2011

Watch me weep.

Now I don't know about you, but I am a VERY emotional person. I'm up, I'm down. In fact the words "Drama Queen" have been mentioned, erm......... once or twice.


I can scream and shout, laugh and grin and I love a good argument.

Emotions make you feel ALIVE.

But you will never see me cry.

I cry, of course I do. But the thought of someone being there when I cry fills me with such horror that given a choice between crying in front of people I know or having a smear test done by Andrew Marr, The smear test wins every time. (apologies for the horrible images of Andrew Marr that have now put into your head)


I just can't cry in front of people. I could be collapsed on the floor, weeping buckets and when the doorbell goes I stop instantly.

It doesn't help that I am a damn ugly cryer.

I swear, my nose expands to three times it's original size. My eyes puff up and go red. I look like a hamster on meth.

Now if I cried like in the movies where a single solitary tear ran down my face, reflecting the light as it travelled across my cheekbone before gently dropping off the side of my face in sorrow. I'd cry ALL THE BLOODY TIME.

But alas, it isn't to be.

It's control issues. (I have LOTS of issues) I can't bear the thought that people will see me less than "large and in charge" for me, crying means I'm not in control of my emotions. And that isn't happening.

Let go and let those emotions run all over the place without any adult supervision?

Oh hell no. Not this lady.

I'll do my crying behind closed doors thanks.

Or if I am feeling like I want to share................

I'll do this

:"-(

That's good enough isn't it?


How about you?

Are you a public cryer?

Or do you want to book an appointment for Mr Marr too?


Let me know


Big Fashionista x x
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15 comments

  1. I'm exactly the same. In fact, I didn't actually cry from the ages of 15 to 23, until I met my boyfriend (who melted my cold heart a little ;) ) I tend to feel crying in public is a little undignified, maybe because I'm an ugly crier too!

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  2. i cry all the time. on cue and on a whim. it makes me feel better and i dont really care who's watching, chances are i'll like the attention.

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  3. Danielle Adams17 May 2011 at 09:52

    I don't like crying in front of lots of people, though I have seemed to be doing it more and more over the last year, not so worried in front of close friends though. It shows how upset I am, and I know they want to help.

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  4. I could no more hold back the tears than stop breathing if overcome with emotion and frankly it drives me mad, there is nothing worse than some snot smeared gibbering wreck lurching around but if you are that way out maintaining a stiff upper lip is nigh on impossible. Oh to have the backbone required to disassemble only in private - I admire and envy you!xx

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  5. I don't cry when I'm sad or upset, I do it when I'm angry. Although I cry at sad films, real life doesn't do it for me,

    Caroline
    xxx

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  6. Oh I cry. I CRY. Mainly when hideously, murderously hormonal...
    but usually behind closed doors. Outside I am life and soul, inside, weepy willows.
    I make the exeption at weddings :) blub central...

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  7. I look like James Van Der Beek when I cry. Google "Dawsons' Ugly Cry" if you haven't seen it, then laugh heartily. My eyes actually shrink to slits and my face triples in size. I get a red face, snot-soaked cheeks, and a blinding headache straight after.

    I can switch it on and off to be honest - in the right humour, I can cry at a TV ad or a song. I don't bawl unless I'm alone and I know I'll be alone until the redness goes away and my eyes go back to their normal size :) But I'll never, ever roar crying in front of someone. Unless I'm drunk. Really, really drunk. Then it's tiny tears all the way...

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  8. LOL @ the James Van Der Beek reference!

    You always write such thought provoking posts Kellie...articulating all the things going round in our heads that we rarely discuss.

    I am a crier by nature... but have learned to hold it back over the years. My mum is an open crier...in public... and loudly...it's very embarrassing. So perhaps I get it from her, but also want to curb it so as not to go to her lengths! I tend to cry when I'm overwhelmed or stressed - when I'm in a situation I can't seem to find the way out of or an answer for. Being tired and hormonal also makes it worse. But I'm definitely learning to put plugs in my tear ducts these days! xx

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  9. I'm a crier. I cry way too easily and when it starts I can.not.stop.it.

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  10. I hate crying in public but I can't help myself! I cry at the news when I'm on the bus, cried in front of my boss when I quit my first job, and just walked around the city crying every day for about a month when my first boyfriend left me! I dread to think what I'll be like when I have children, much admiration to you for being able to keep it in! X

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  11. Do you cry in front of Mr Big Fashionista? I hate crying in front of people too, because I'm usually quite an extroverted, happy, laugh-ey person and I'm good at being the shoulder to cry on, the one in control of her life. However sometimes things just get totally on top of me and occasionally I'll be welling up infront of my friends and that I never want to do. I feel like peoples' opinions of me will change. I cry infront of my other half all the time, because I trust him not to judge me. But above all I just find it hideously embarrassing, that I would publicly display my emotions, because people usually swoop on me and try to comfort me which just makes it worse. xxx

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  12. Definitely not up for a smear test with Andrew Marr thank you very much! Can't say I have even been in a situation to cry in front of people - except in severe physical pain! xx

    http://ironicallyfashion.blogspot.com/

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  13. I am SUCH a crier! I cry when I'm happy, angry, sad and everything in between! In fact, if I go for too long without crying I start to worry that something is horribly wrong with me! I couldn't agree more that emotions make you feel alive. My highs are a bit higher than the average bear and my lows are substantially closer to the earth's core than most people's. I wouldn't change it, though. It's who I am and I love those highs! They're worth it! x

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  14. I cry at the Secret Millionaire. And for the whole of Les Mis Act 2.

    The rest of the time, I try to keep it dry in the eye department, but I have that embarrassing problem when I get angry, I tear up. It's so annoying! Deep breaths and an unneeded trip to the loos galore.

    Sounds hideously wanky but one day, I think I'll know I've found "the one" when I can handle crying in front of him.

    Til then... suck it up and carry on!

    RCx

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  15. aww cry baby lol. Seriously im a huge cry baby too. I cry at television all the time and if someone i know crys that makes me cry too.
    I think its good it releases the emotions and i cry sometimes when i am really stressed and then i feel a bit better lol. All my family know what im like so they dont even comment anymore about it xx

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