Thursday, 30 June 2011

Whose got that vibe.

Occasionally someone changes their status on facebook to something so brilliant I want to stand up and clap. I'm not kidding, some of the people are snappy little geniuses.

A facebook status gives you the freedom to write the perfect one liner. Anyone can be funny on a facebook status, cruel or downright annoying.

But one recently not only made me want to stand up and clap it invoked the sort of comments that afterwards made me grateful that my mother doesn't use facebook!!!!

Naming no names (cough, sister-in-law, cough,) the status asked.

If you could have a "character" vibrator that spoke as it....... erm, did the deed so to speak. What character would you want and what would it say?

Now, Facebook doesn't often provoke deep and meaningful thoughts and comments but what followed can only be described as genius and extremely well thought out. (we obviously have FAR too much time on our hands)

One asked for a Woody vibrator that said "Somebody's poisoned the waterhole"

There was a Buzz "To infinity, and beyond........."

Bob The Builder "Can we fix it? Yes we can"  (That one was MINE)

Even a Bond vibrator. No not James Bond, Uni-bond, "Here to fill your crack"

See, too much time on our hands (and a downright filthy imagination)

It needed a wider audience so I am throwing it open to you.

If you had to invent a character vibrator, who would it be and what would it say?

Let me know.

Big Fashionista x x

Wednesday, 29 June 2011

Has the Gaga bubble burst?

It was announced yesterday that Lady Gaga is being sued over failing to hand over all monies made from the sale of a charity wristband to help raise funds for Japan.

Whether there has been a mistake, fraud or a genuine oversight with the tax issue it has made me wonder whether we will now be watching the fall of Gaga.

Icon, Diva and Inspirational are all words bandied around by fans of Lady Gaga, She is credited as helping people to come to terms with their sexuality, colour and not fitting in and she inspires ferocious loyalty from her fans.

But what goes up must come down. The media play such a huge role in any meteoric rise, True, Gaga has always kept it interesting with her style and chameleon-like appearances but for how long can people be impressed and awed?

And where do you go after you have pushed the boundaries so far there is no way left to shock? A dress made of live kittens? A baby finger hat? (I'm trademarking them Lady Gaga, before you start getting any ideas)

Will there come a time when Lady Gaga will walk down the street naked and everyone says, "Meh, there goes Gaga with her vah-jay-jay out again"

Of course there will be.

The same thing goes for the music and the videos.

Fine if you want to lez it up in one video and give birth in another, people are going to feel a tad disappointed if you just DANCE AROUND in your latest video. (Oh the sorrow)

It must be exhausting to be permanently trying to be one step ahead, looking for ways to shock and ways to change your appearance. Surely it will have a lasting effect.

Have I mentioned the tears?

Lady Gaga cries more than my 5 year old daughter! And now with about as much effect. At first when someone cries you think, Awwwwww that's sad. But when you keep on doing it? It dilutes the effect so much that people end up just rolling their eyes thinking, Oh she's off again and refuse to give the attention that you so obviously crave.

I don't know whether we are seeing the start of the fall of Gaga, I feel that the media may smell the blood in the water and start to circle to see if they can tear her apart. But what will keep Lady Gaga in the public eye is NOT her ever-changing style, her music or her charity work (cough)  It is her FANS. It is only when they start to become jaded she needs to worry.

What do you think?

Are you a "monster" and always will be?

Do you think Gaga has had her 5 minutes of fame and needs to step back now?

Or were you a fan but are now bored and over it?

Let me know.

Big Fashionista x

Tuesday, 28 June 2011

Toooooo Hot

I'm having to schedule this post because frankly by Tuesday I will have melted into a small ball of sticky fluid and fat (ok, a LARGE ball, biatches)

Let's face it, ONE day of heat and the whole country has fallen apart.

We just can't handle it.

Everywhere I have looked this afternoon I have seen lobstered up chavs with impressive white lines. Kids with sunburn (you don't even want to get me started on that cruelty, I am liable to rave for hours)
Police dogs have died because they were left in an unventilated car and people everywhere are yelping it is just tooooooo hot.

IT  is. (I MAY be one of those yelpers, I confess)

There may be a small minority of people out there that love the sunshine but sorry, I am not one of them. I am not built for speed or heat. and I do NOT look good in the sun. I sweat, my hair sticks to me and I huff and puff like a small piglet. I wish I could be one of those English Roses that glow.....

but I'm not. How can I put this delicately? I glow buckets.

Where is the pleasure in this heat?

I like the sunshine when I am on holiday. The beach is a lovely place to get some sun on my back, although I am careful after the last "Swimming costume" incident where Greenpeace tried to tow me back to deep water.

Thanks guys.

We really shouldn't get any temperature above the seventies in Britain. UNLESS it is the weekend. Hot Mondays are God's way of sticking his tongue out at us and saying ner, ner, ner ner ner.

The only good thing about the weather beeing this hot is the storm that will be following it. Bring on the thunder and lightning I say. With rain so heavy that it makes you want to dance in your underwear in it............or is that just me?

And don't worry Greenpeace, I'm sure the puddles will be deep enough for me
Stand down lads.

What do we think?

Was yesterday too hot or would you like to see the hot weather continue?

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x

Monday, 27 June 2011

So when's the holiday?

So I am just back from a week in sunny (rainy) Great Yarmouth. 8 days in a tin can with three children?

Excuse me while I go find someone to sue under the Trades Description Act. A Holiday? Where? I think I blinked and missed it. Sure, the children had fun, The Mr got to spend some quality time with his offspring but for me? Same shit, different setting. It was like half term with all of the grief that goes with it, without the opportunity for them to go to their nans for a night!!!!!

I buttered bread, sorted out clothing, showered the little cherubs, stuck plasters on their knees, made endless cups of tea...........................................


I do this at home!!!

I knew that it would go down this way, lets face it, unless you are 5 *'ing it up in an all inclusive, Mum you are NEVER off duty. A holiday is something that happens to everyone else around you while you carry on doing the same stuff you always did.

And then at the end of the week the other half turns to you and says, "Well that was good wasn't it? The kids had fun"

By thatpoint I was willing Mr F to drop me off in a lay-by like a stray dog so I could find my own way home. (May have taken me a while, and via a spa for a couple of days)

But I am back, children are safely back in school and normal blogging will hopefully resume once I have got rid of this HUGE washing pile!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Who's missed me?

Big Fashionista x x

Tuesday, 7 June 2011

Cheer up Cheryl

Now I KNOW I'm a little late to the pity party but I was otherwise engaged with my own little soiree, I'm now back and ready to dish out some advice of my own.

Dear Cheryl.

Get over it.

The end.

Yours Sincerely

Big Fashionista.

Harsh? Maybe. Fair. I think so.

I'm completely bored with my red tops being dominated by "was she fired?" "Cheryl walks" "She's In-She's out, she's in again" (Although to be fair that last one may have been about Katie Price's sex life)

Let's get things in perspective. She got a new job, it didn't work out. and she didn't want to go back to her old job with her tail between her legs (Side note, I'm not actually sure whether Cheryl DOES have a tail, I'm sure THOSE pics were faked)

There are people out there without a job, Any job. There are people out there fighting for our country, women and children getting shot and killed by ex partners and a 15 year old girl writing her bucket list while she tries to fight cancer. <- Take a look, and if anyone can help her out then please do so.

Sorry if I don't particularly give a shit what Cheryl Cole is up to on a daily basis.

It's time to get a little perspective on life people.

And Cheryl Cole's crashed american dream doesn't even register on my radar as of


What do you think?

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x

Wednesday, 1 June 2011

The darkness

I've had guest posts before about depression.

Brave women have bared their soul to all on my blog to help remove the stigma of depression.

and I sympathised, I said that I knew how they felt.

I realise now that I really didn't.

I've been ill for weeks now. It started with a chest and throat infection, then a kidney infection which left me hospitalised and hooked to fluids and IV antibiotics, then I developed a sinus infection which gave me neuralgia and now as icing on the cake I have developed thrush from all the antibiotics which were designed to stop me being ill.

The descent into depression has occurred so fast that I really don't know how it happened. I understand WHY. But sometimes it just really doesn't matter why it happening, it just IS.

I feel as though I am screaming, loudly. but no-one is listening. But even if they were. I wouldn't know what to say to them anyway. Chances are I would plaster a huge smile on my face, crack a joke and try my hardest to seem like the old me.

Because at the moment I feel as if my world has split, there is the "old" me. and now the new me, and as much as I tell myself this is just a temporary state I worry that the old me is now dead forever instead of just a little lost.

I've felt low before, but never so desperately sad as I do now.

Some people retreat inside themselves to work things out for themselves, others reach out, desperate for people to notice how they are feeling and even while they are smiling, there are tears in their eyes.

I don't want people to feel sorry for me. I just wanted to share how I am feeling at this moment. I WILL get better. On doctors advice I have stopped the antibiotics, I feel that they have had a HUGE impact on my mood and hopefully once they start leaving my system I will start to notice the sunshine again.

I have the support of some really great friends who have been there with me every step and I know will continue to support me while I try to find my way out of the darkness. I've lashed out at people who didn't deserve it, and reached out to people who weren't there. I live and learn.

But with my friends, no matter how alone I feel I know I'm not alone.

and maybe I have to feel this low to appreciate the highs in my future.

I really hope so.

Big Fashionista x
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