Tuesday, 19 July 2011

It's all about the Keywords.

It is no secret that any blogger or writer in general usually spends a hell of a lot of time scrutinising their stats, watching their hits go up or down (cough, down, cough) and the number of followers, sorry MEMBERS closely to see if people are leaving in droves or coming to join the party.

One of the best things about any statistic recorder is the keyword analysis.

How do people find my blog?

What do they type into Google or any other search engine that makes my blog appear on their screens?



Let me tell you, There are some SICK people out there on the internet!! Who knew? And why did no-one tell me!!!

Firstly.

Why the hell is my blog the first point of call for anyone who does a Google image search for a "manatee"

Now I know that I've been slightly lax on my diet but come on guys, Slightly harsh!!!!

A manatee? (puts down cake and picks up celery sticks)  I'd accept sealion. but come on! Sigh. Google you are mean.


Other keyword searches which have brought people to my blog include.

"Big boobed woman naked"
(I hope they were REALLY disappointed by that search)

Neil Diamond is Hairy
(Yes, yes he is)

Big Fashionista likes men
(yes, yes I do)

I have a girl crush on Big Fashionista.
(Awwwwwwwww, thank you, but see above)

Address of Big Fashionista
(calls police and googles self to make sure my address doesn't appear)

Squirrel damage to my wheelie bin lid
(All squirrels are bastards)

Knees apart for the smear test nurse
(Always helps. PS Smear tests save lives)


I have to admit some of those had me reaching for the Tena Lady, while others had me reaching for the mace (Which I do HAVE, remember that freakos)

If you have a blog what is the weirdiest way your blog has been found?

or how have you found my blog?  (Checks pocket for Mace again)


Let me know x x



Big Fashionista x x
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16 comments

  1. There are some really weird folks out there in the interwebs. I very rarely check my keywords but just for you I had a peek. The only weird one was pan porn. Granted I have a post gloating over all the things I've been a good girl with and have hit the bottom of the pan (makeup items in case anyone is confused). I clearly specified in that post that there would be no kitchen related erotica so I hope that wasn't what they were after... x

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  2. Oh god I am such a failure, have just checked my keywords and they are hideously dull and make up related, which I suppose is an accurate reflection of my blog posts to date! About to go off piste though and blog about "stuff" rather than just make up so maybe that will help! x

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  3. i have recently got back into blogging after a time away and have been getting to know my stats some are weird some arent so much lol i am waiting on the really really weird ones coming lol!

    shel xx

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  4. I once got 'sexy hello kitty costume' as a google entry for mine. That is one odd fetish! I also got 'Katy Price smells' (was that Peter Andre perhaps??) and 'bad taste princess'. Nice.

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  5. I've just checked my keywords and thankfully as I'm only a newbie I have no weird and wonderful words or sentences used to find me!

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  6. Ha! Excellent post.
    I get such weird ones, recent keywords have included -

    big breasts in capes (I AM BATMAN WITH BOOBIES,HEAR ME ROAR)
    A Thrifty Mrs wants fat cock (errrrrm)
    Eat Pray Love for retards (eeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrmmmmmmmm)

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  7. That is actually hilarious! Is this from google analytics or blogger stats? We have nothing like this in ours Lol!

    Love J.

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  8. How on earth can I find my keywords?! I dread to think what mine must be-yours are hilarious!

    Love Amie

    www.creditcrunchchic.blogspot.com

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  9. great post, funny!

    'neil diamond is hairy' is quite an obscure way of finding your blog haha!

    my blog has yet to be 'discovered' properly unfortunately, but love yours x

    jade

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  10. Hi, how do you find this out? I,m on blogger and I haven't yet received any thing weird like this.....time...give it time......x

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  11. Some of those search hits that brought people here are brilliant! Mine are less exciting - most peple were searching for 'Fashion Bandit' who found mine, which is good to know. Second highest hit was 'undercut' that will be a previous hairstyle then. Don't think I talk about a wide enough range of things to get any truely weird hits...*goes off to write a post labelled 'Britney Spears ate my hamster's shoe while carrying Piers Morgan's baby'*

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  12. My favourite so far has been 'naked fairies'. The guy must have been soooo disappointed to see a picture of my eye with some urban decay shadows on it!

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  13. Hi guys, thanks for all the fab comments.

    I use StatCounter for my stats which gives great keyword analysis

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  14. Brilliant! This actually had me laughing out loud! x

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  15. I actually forgot to put them on my blog this time - I have an old 80's nostalgia blog that has analytics, just checked the stats for the first time in ages and am nearly weeing - "ebay child prom dress", "haircuts for women over 50", "Michaela Strachan Knickers", "My little naked ponies", "Teeny-Weeny nude pinky-d*ck images" - all would be sadly disappointed :)

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  16. Several hits for 'chocolate sex' and 'shower sex'. Go figure!

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