Monday, 15 August 2011

A catch or one to throw back?

So that Bruno Mars is a bit of a saucepot isnt he?

Now usually I would have a guy like that made dirty and brought to my boudoir

But I'm just not sure that this guy is a catch.

He looks good, but hey so does a Rocky Horror Sundae and then afterwards you are consumed with guilt and a slight feeling of sickness and bloating. (That walk of shame from a Harvester is a bitch ain't it)

and I'm just not sure that Bruno Mars is the full package.

Let us examine the evidence.

Exhibit A.


Gave you all I had,
and you tossed it in the trash,
you tossed it in the trash you did.
(This guy has some issues. I can sense this already)
To give me all your love
is all I ever asked
(I'm feeling stalkerish tendencies here)
Coz what you don't understand is
I'd catch a grenade for ya
Throw my head on a blade for ya
I'd jump in front of a train for ya
(I would have accepted flowers and chocolates, but instead I am offered blood and a ritual sacrifice of body parts and entrails. Bruno, you aren't selling it to me here)
you know I'd do anything for ya
(I'm starting to understand that Bruno)
I'd go through all this pain
take a bullet straight through my brain
(Back to the blood already, Bruno. I'm starting to think therapy may be in order. Or a restraining order perhaps)
Yes I would die for you baby
but you won't do the same
(Erm, No, I wouldn't)

So what have we learnt from Exhibit A?

Bruno falls hard, fast and possibly never lets go. I'm thinking that perhaps Bruno is not perfect boyfriend material, (In fact I'm slightly concerned that Bruno is not really fit to walk amongst women without a bell around his neck or something)

Shall we move on to Exhibit B?

The Lazy Song

Today I don't feel like doing anything,
I just wanna lie in my bed
(Yeah I had an ex like that)
Don't feel like picking up my phone
so leave a message at the tone
(and an ex like that)
Cuz today I swear i'm not doing anything
Nothing at all.

So occasionally Bruno is prone to bouts of depression that leave him not wanting to get out of bed? Aren't we all sunshine? Doesn't mean I spend the day with my hands down my pants. That is just oversharing Bruno. Oversharing.

Hmmmmmmm, I get the feeling that Bruno would not be spilling all this information on a first date. We should make all men write some songs before dating them. It would give us a small insight into their soul. (Their dark, dark souls)

Now if after Exhibit A & B you are still thinking you would like to hitch your carriage to the Bruno Mars love train, lets take a look at Exhibit C.

Picture the scene. You managed to overlook the fact that he would catch a grenade for you (possibly go through your phone while you slept and steal your underwear to sniff) you also managed to get past his occasional days of laziness where he does nothing at all and now you are waiting for him to pop the question.

Marry You

It's a beautiful night,
we're looking for something dumb to do
Hey baby
I think I want to marry you.
(Bruno, you smooth talking bastard you)

Wow, what a proposal, That's one to share with the grandchildren isn't it? Just beautiful.

But what do you think?

Do you love Bruno Mars or do you think he may have some deep dark issues that need to be ironed out before he really can be seen as a catch?

Let me know.

Big Fashionista x x


  1. Mwhahahaha! Erm, yeah. I think I need to go with your analysis of the situation. Besides, I don't really fancy him, he looks like one of JLS's slightly older brothers. And as though he spends longer in front of the mirror than me (not that hard, to be fair).

    Found you via Odd Socks Alex. If you do make a visit to mine, can I suggest you start here? I think we may have a similar sense of humour.

    Anyway, following now

  2. Hahahahaha, I knew he was a strange one but your breakdown has shown just how strange.

    I like it


  3. Actually LOLing in the office. I love it. I would though. Yummy. "Sauce pot" is a good word ha!

  4. I'm in stitches again, just how do you come up with all these observations, its beyond me but never the less its fab!

    to be honest I never thought much of Bruno Mars, his face weirds me out a little bit and his songs are a little bit strange. I have visions of some suicidal chav singing Grenade to his girlfriend over facebook when shes just dumped him... urgh!

  5. I laughed my ass off at your commentary. People at work probably think I'm crazy in my cube lol.

  6. ahahaha! love this! xo

  7. LOL BF!! I'd never analyzed his lyrics before, interesting, VERY interesting.

    I love his cute little voice but I hate that he takes the white stuff, SO for that reason alone, I'd have to pass!!



  8. Hysterical. You crack me up. So need you own show x


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