Monday, 1 August 2011

Cock A'hoop

That Enrique is a clever so and so isn't he?

So last week Enrique announced to a crowd of people that he has the smallest penis in the world.

(Seriously? I doubt that Enrique, let me tell you about an ex of mine................... I digress)


I think Enrique Iglesias is one clever, clever man. Now every woman in the world wants to see his penis.

At least he didn't add the line that drives me absolutely insane.

"It's not what you've got, It's what you do with it that counts"

BULLCRAP.

If a woman says that, her boyfriend has a little one AND doesn't know what to do with it.

Let's be honest here.

Size DOES matter.

I'm not saying that a man has to be hung like a thoroughbred stallion but if it's TOO small, well unless he has a nine inch tongue and can breathe through his ears, he's going to be getting the "It's not you, it's me" speech pretty damn quick I can tell you.

And please don't give me the speech about smaller men try harder. Course they do. They've probably got a degree in trying harder. Their technique is probably honed to perfection but sometimes the term "felt like he was pushing a chipolata up Oxford St" just says it all.

Chances are Enrique is just putting it out there so that the next woman he boinks doesn't feel disappointed. If for example he is just average sized and he has announced to the world that he has a the penis the size of a gerbils, when he drops those briefs (I imagine Enrique to be a white briefs sort of guy) she is going to be so damn grateful she will look at it like an anaconda has just escaped from his pants, gasp with pleasure and tell him wow that's huge.

Ego boost or what?


Enrique sir, I salute you. I'm impressed with your attitude. If you ever feel like you need an independant opinion, please feel free to send me naked pics to the e-mail address on the right.


What do we think everyone.

Does a small penis matter?

Love to hear your thoughts



Big Fashionista
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18 comments

  1. It's 7:30, I haven't had my coffee yet and already I'm reading about cock. Hats off to you for that x

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  3. Ha!! Debs I agree with that!

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  4. What I meant to say was "its not the size of the penis that matters but how big a dick its attached to" that makes more sense!!

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  5. O dear lord! That made me spit my tea out. Well done and don't even get me started on exes and appendages! I think it's fair game to say that we've all been there and believe me there's nothing you can do with a Biro except write with it! Nicely done Kellie as always! xx

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  6. Muahahaaaahahahahahaaaaa. '9'inch Tongue and can breathe through his ears...'
    LOL
    Muahahahahaaa
    LOL
    Muahahahahaaa
    LOL
    Muahahaahaha

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  7. Do we not work on the "look how big his feet are" anymore? That's what a mate of mine once told me and for quite some time I used that method with some success.

    As someone who dated a guy with quite an impressively long penis, size may matter but he was incredibly crap in bed. Shockingly so.

    And you don't want too long- I heard horror stories in my early teens (when we were obsessed with the idea of sex) of girls who ended up with all sorts of injuries. PMSL

    I'm very happy with what serves me these days!

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  8. It matters to me from the moment they get their boxers off. If Im confronted with a Wiener, it just kills it.

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  9. 20somethingmum I had a similar experience - hung like a donkey and spent more time waving it about at me bragging about it than actually learning what to do with it. Can safely say - biggest I've ever had = worst I've ever had.

    Also had an experience with the other end of the spectrum (i.e the 'where is it?' end) - I was doing a hairdressing course at the time and my perm rods were bigger.

    I'd love to say it doesn't matter, but seriously, it does. Very happy with Mr.GreenEyes, and very willing to go and investigate the Enrique theory. He's a clever man. :)

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  10. Loving the comments today.

    Looks like technique IS more important than size but size DOES matter

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  11. Or the depressing experience of going out with someone who was average sized but bizarrely paranoid about it not being big enough. There's only so many times you can do the wide eyed get-that-monster-away-from-me act to boost his ego before it gets REALLY boring.

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  12. Oh God, size definitely matters. Thank the Lord I've always been blessed with men who are apparently half horse.

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  13. Amazing post, my first boyfriend at university was small. Hilariously so.

    The first time I saw it I thought I was just drunk - it was our freshers ball after all - round two I found my eyes had not deceived me. I felt so silly grinding around pretending to have the biggest thrill of my life I had to hide giggles with a coughing fit. We only lasted about 3 weeks....


    And he still told everyone I thought he was a stud x

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  14. As someone who sees more than "average" all the time I have to agree with a few of you ladies, 10am I'm always thinking/talking about it.

    Emily you have been blessed.

    "ihavemostlybeen" well said! Oh and Alex I WAS married to "that" guy.

    When very young did see one the size of my little finger. He was such a lovely guy too. Shame.

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  15. Geraint Wynne-Davies1 August 2011 at 20:32

    Classic sales technique, setting the customers' expectations below what you know you can deliver. Better to have them pleasantly surprised than disappointed eh?

    Anyway, I think it's a fine balance between size and ability. There will be guys with tiny willies that probably give fantastic head and are caring and loving, but ultimately will leave you reaching for the vibrator; and then there are guys that are hung like a horse and think that they therefore don't need to make any effort to please a lady - the fact that they have a huge cock should be enough to satisfy any woman.

    While I'm sure that there are plenty of women out there that don't care about technique or anything else and just want to feel "full", I would like to think that the majority value a little more than a big chunk of meat with a cock attached (that can be read two ways and is equally valid either way).

    This is why I'm quite glad that I fall somewhere in between the two - I'm reasonably equipped (not so big that I feel a need to boast of it, but not so small that I have a complex about it) and I've never had any complaints about that, but I also make an effort to give a good overall experience without thinking that I can rely on my tackle alone to please my woman.

    Ladies, tell me if I'm wrong, but I think that if you're looking for anything more than a short burst, then that balance is the key.

    Incidentally (and rather amusingly), my ex-wife sometimes bemoans the fact that while her new man is rather well hung, not only does she find intercourse painful; foreplay is non-existent and sex lasts no more than 3 or 4 minutes.

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  16. So what is being said here is that it's ok to mock and judge men on the size of a body part but if a man does the same to a woman, he is shallow scum that doesn't deserve anyone?

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  17. I thought so...

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