Monday, 19 September 2011

Alternative London Fashion Week

So basically as I was NFI to LFW (oh, too many acronyms in one sentence, sorry about that) I have been busily creating an alternative to London Fashion Week in that dark place in my head called my imagination.

So curtains up (No delays or FROW here)

(However if you are in print could you please remember to bring a copy of your latest circulation numbers so I could have a good sneer at you-thank you)

Welcome to Big Fashionistas Alternative Fashion Week.

First up is the Breakfast Collection. Created by Kerr Loggs this season is all about comfort. Pastels are big, and sheep are featuring heavily (sleeping sheep especially) Kay Loggs works well in all forms but her big look for S/S '11 is flannelette. With the occasional satin look thrown in to mix it up a bit. Kerr Loggs has shown her collection is versatile, encorporating the bedtime look as well as breakfast.

The make up look to go with the Breakfast Collection is the "smeared look" Mascara is the focal point for the look, although on some models the smearing followed through to the lips.

Hair is all about the birds nest, slightly matted and unkept with a bedhead odour. Hair & make up seem almost an afterthought to the breakfast collection which only serves to highlight what the designer was going for.

Shall we go straight into the next collection? There is no need for queues or cobbled streets here and no press passes needed (although you can go grab yourself a cuppa if you want)

The next collection is the School Run Collection, created by Miss D Bus. This look is functional and no fun. featuring yesterdays clothing thrown together in a rush.

(Some SERIOUS fashionistas created a stir last year by MIXING the Breakfast Collection with items from the School Run Collection. This is FROWNED UPON in Big Fashionistas world. Trust me, I will judge you like Anna Wintour at the first show of the season)

The materials are denim and despair in equal measure. Occasionally a model will strut down the runway impeccably dressed (feel free to hate on her) The S/S '11 collection highlights practicality and the theme is freedom. Make up in this collection is minimal, and hair is scraped back.  Miss D Bus has truly captured the very essence of the school run look and I look forward to her next collection for A/W '11 which is rumoured to be her best, the "Six Week School Holiday Collection" Featuring an array of comfortable clothing which ties up at the back for when you have just.given.up.

The next collection featured in my AFW is the Chav Collection. Featuring the cream de la cream of chav fashion, this collection was created by Mr Court Appearance. Featuring the classic look that Mr Court Appearance has made his own, the gravity defying trousers. teamed with the obligitory hat, worn backwards and the brave "fashion forward-forward thinking" designer, made to look like fake, designer t-shirt.

There is also the capsule suit collection, for the two occasions in a chavs life when he may need a suit, A funeral or a court appearance. This suit comes only in black so that it can cross the bridge between both occasions seamlessly. 

The Chav Collection was going to be the first collection to feature animals on the runway until the Staffordshire Bull Terrier broke free and mistook one of the models arms for a chicken stick. (A terrible, terrible accident)

Accessories of course still feature heavily in the Chav Collection. A rumoured collaboration with Elizabeth Duke sadly never did take place this season, but we do live in hope for A/W '11.

I hope you enjoyed my Alternative London Fashion Week Ladies and Gentlemen. I apologise for the size of the show but unfortunately due to budget cuts (and spending most of my weekend at Westfield Stratford) I was severely stretched for time. There are no Goody bags either, (although if you can find the Staffy, keep it) Flash photography is definitely, positively encouraged although I do ask that any photos with me in do not get tagged to me on Facebook until I have checked you have my best side (my arse)

What would your collection be for my Alternative London Fashion Week?

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x

(no models were harmed during the making of AFW)


  1. The breastfeeding mum collection, sagging jersey trousers teamed with ugg boots the collection is epitomised the the loose top stretched out of shape with signature milk leakage marks in the bust region. Make up for this look is kept low key with the focus being pale, drawn and tired, hair us kept greasy and an array of bobbles, hair bands and kirby grips are used to secure it off the face. Accessories are key to pulling off this look, a baby under the top is required with the most fashion forward carrying a colicky one that hasn't slept for more than an hour since birth!

  2. Love it! mine would bed the running late collection, mismatched outfit, perhaps with a random stain and very creased (sort of 'I-just-picked-this-up-from-the-bedroom-floor chic'). Xx

  3. hehe im getting completely miffed by all the LFW talk on twitter, nobody cares, stop showing off, blah blah blah :D

  4. I am currently sporting the Ms Nos Leep look. Heavy dark eyemakeup to look like bags under the eyes, a slightly bloodshot look. Dry lips, sheet creased skin= a must. Clothes are slightly mismatched as I didnt have time to match them up this morning. Also running with the birds nest hair look xx

  5. Ha ha I love this - I need a cheering up and this hit the spot xxx

  6. I'm rocking the Hor-Monal look designed by Ma Ternity. The key features of this look are tent dresses stained with remnants of food that has been hastily shovelled into my cavernous mouth. Flat shoes accessorised with swollen feet are the only footwear acceptable with this look. Greasy hair and adolescent skin, with a faint sickly sweaty glow is the final nod to this trend.


  7. bloody L O L as usual, can you just win your category and get a column already pleeaasseee


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