Monday, 26 September 2011

Virus protection

I have a cold, a cold so heavy that if it sat on you it would definitely leave an imprint.
I have snot in so many interesting colours that it looks like a blended Kermit is dripping from my nose and a cough so barking I actually sound like a seal (feeding time is 1pm if you feel like throwing me a cake or two-I do tricks and everything)

But, and as usual (sigh) it is a big but. I am constantly in fear that this cold will turn into something so deadly that there will be no return from it.


I hear that at the moment, men are dropping like flies from this deadly disease

Something that I wasn't aware of with man flu, it mutates quicker than Lady Gaga!!!! One minute it is quite happily a cold, floating around in a female body messing with your sinuses and head and all of a sudden BANG it hops into a male body and debilitates the whole central nervous system. The only cure is total bed rest and more sympathy than one woman can give. (at one point in the suffering of man flu every man WILL call his mummy)

One can only hope and pray by the bedside of a male struck down by the dreaded man flu (and bring tea) there is no medicine that can bring about a cure for this dreaded virus.

Surely by now you'd think that a group of scientists would have worked on a vaccination!!

(Somewhere in a laboratory is a cage of suffering rats with a box of tissues, some lemsip and a bunch of grapes just waiting for a cure)

A vaccination would save so many men (and women) from suffering from this horrible affliction.

Perhaps we need to arrange a benefit concert. A huge event to raise money and awareness about the deadliness and seriousness of Man Flu.

We need to dust off Bob Geldof and get Midge Ure (Oh ask your bloody parents kiddies) out of retirement to pull this together.

There could be a charity single put together in a fortnight (obviously COLDplay wouldn't be invited to join in) and we could all wear wristbands (or maybe buy special branded hankies)

I don't think that in the past us women have taken the virus Man Flu seriously enough. We are just carriers of this horrific illness. It is men who are the true sufferers. It was only when a male sat me down recently and explained the true complexity of Man Flu and how it mutates and makes them feel so so so ill that I truly understood.

So maybe a concert is the way to go. Or if you have been moved by this plea to help then you can donate to the cause in many ways.

Or an even better plan might be to call me an ambulance, because reading back through this I think I must be sicker than I thought.

WOMAN UP GUYS, its just a bloody cold.

Now pass me a tissue because I'm dripping kermit all over my laptop.

So what do you think?

Do men make a fuss about a cold (man flu) or is there truly a difference between when a man is sick and a woman.

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x


  1. Ha this sounds exactly like my husband. And that bit about ringing mummy: so true!

  2. Hope you feel better soon. Thank you for the laugh this dreary monday

  3. HAHAHA so true and so funny. I too have this evil cold, along with wisdom tooth pain and now a stiff neck. I wonder how a man would cope with that lot......

    And my holiday ends tomorrow, back to work for me.

  4. funny you should write this post as several days ago my bf informs me he has read an article suggesting that manflu is true, apparently they have devloped to be more susceptible to virues (and us less so since we looked after the children etc in cave man times), obviously i rolled my eyes at him and told him to get over it, i have no sympathy... ever... for anyone hehe

  5. Sympathetic and germy hugs from me.

    I think I might have it. I started off with normal cold symptoms but I am a woman, I can cope with that. Then I got sent home from work, have spent the past three days in bed and feel like someone has stolen every ounce of energy I've ever possessed. I have a weird thing about not wanting to call it flu because that seems like the cop-out excuse and I'm not entirely bed-ridden but I am very moany and unwell. Stupid germs.

  6. Hahahahahaha Manflu is the most hilarious thing. They always thing they're dying!

    My childhood bestie is a surgeon, and actually knows about this stuff, and he STILL claims that when he gets sick it's a million times worse than when I do. Doucheface.

    However - you need to be careful. There IS something going around, I was hibernating with it a couple of weeks ago, ended up all dehydrated and anaemic, wasn't fun! Rest your pretty snotty head :)


  7. I find the whole Manflu-requiring-sympathy phenomenon rather bemusing. I'm male, and the last thing I want when I'm sick is someone fussing over me. Leave me alone in my cave to hibernate in peace with my stash of psuedoephedrine and lemons, and I'll emerge when I'm good and ready!

  8. Brilliant!!! This made me giggle so much!

    And so fitting as I came across this on Facebook a few days ago. Lets you send the pathetic men in your life a hilarious personalised video to stop them moaning of man flu!

    The video stars them, announces their name and is set to reworded lyrics of James Brown's hit "It's a Man's World".

    Funny! My boyfriend got bombarded!!


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