Tuesday, 11 October 2011

Bug-ging out

It's October, it really isn't that cold and the sun is still shining.
(Check me out, I'm a weather girl-that's one for the bucket list)

Anyone else get the feeling that all the wasps aren't getting the memo that it is time for them to do the right thing and just DIE?

Yesterday I got cornered in my own home by a huge wasp that seemed more than slightly high on life and was intent on trying to end mine.

You may think this is slightly dramatic but me and wasps have a long horrible history. They spend their whole summer terrorising me half to death in new and inventive ways, like hiding in coke cans or dive bombing me when I am standing looking over a cliff. (Gits) And I spend my summer trying to wipe out the whole evil species every chance I get.

We can never reach an uneasy truce either.

A ceasefire is only reached once the end of September arrives and they start to die off like old people in flu season.

But this year the wasps are enjoying a later burst of energy and they are acting like drunks at a pub lock-in. they are getting a little bit lairy and quite a bit fighty.

This is totally unacceptable to me.

Do you know how difficult it is to find wasp spray at this time of year? If I wanted to hit them with a Santa Claus, that I could do. (Hell, I could probably spank them with an Easter egg if I paid a visit to Sainsburys) but Wasp spray? Rare than rocking horse shit at the moment.

Wasps in October have no fear either! It is like they just KNOW they are living on borrowed time and if they are going down, they are going to take some of us with them. (Stripey little psychopaths)

They have nothing to lose, they know that their end is nigh, so if they can get some extra kicks by forcing me off a cliff or failing that, just stinging me to death? You just know that they are going to grasp that opportunity with all six legs and just fly with it.

Me? I'm off to the shed to see if I have any wasp spray in reserve.

Then me and all the wasps are going to fight it out to the DEATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wish them luck, they're going to need it.

Anyone else having problems with the devil wasps sent from satan at the moment?

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x


  1. Oh my Hat! That is Flipping hilarious! Rarer than Rocking horse shit is my new Fave saying!

    Ahem, I am not laughing at you mind, I'm laughing WITH you!

    This is fantastic writing! Keep up the great work...

  2. i have not encountered a wasp for quite some time... maybe they are attracted to you :D


  3. I have to admit to liking wasps and bees and maintain that if you scream and flap your arms they think you are playing and join in, which really pisses off my arm waving, girly screaming OH! I talk to them calmly and they fly away which annoys him even more because it works! That said they are a total liability at this time of the year, puppy got stung on his lip last week, ended up with cartoon dog style mouth!

  4. Did you know (and you may well do) that if you squash them there is something in their blood that calls other wasps to come and help them. I though 'oh yeah right' but other day I splatted one, and onother one flew straight in the window about 10 seconds later and flew straight at me. Needless to say I ran away and only came back cowering, armed with wasp spray. *Gulp* You have been warned LOL

  5. Eeeeeek must remember never to spill their blood, I never knew that!!!!

  6. It's true, never attack or splat a wasp only spray them with bug killer!!! We had on in work today, a giant soab, got the boss to deal with it lol


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