Tuesday, 25 October 2011

A shock confession

I have been keeping a secret for a while now.

A secret so shameful I don't know if I can even write it down.

I am deep in the grip of addiction so strong, I cannot possibly see a way out of it.

It started as research,

I needed to know what it was like. How could I judge others when I didn't know what it was like to experience it for myself first hand.

I thought I could handle it. It would just be the once. and then never again.............

Of course it never works like that does it.

Shall I just say it.

My name is Kellie Hill........................................................

and I am addicted to The Only Way Is Essex.

Wow, I thought it would be harder than that.

Please don't judge me.

I wrote a post a while ago completely slating TOWIE, I HAD to watch a whole episode to be able to judge it fully. I watched, I hated, I wrote, I judged and that was it..........

Until the next time it was on........ I reasoned that perhaps it was a bad episode. I should watch another one to be able to completely hate it with a clear conscience.

I watched, I hated, I judged AND THEN PUT IT ON SERIES LINK!!!!

The bloody programme left it on a cliff hanger, I HAD to watch the next one just to see what would happen next........ didn't I?

Now ITV2 is my dealer and TOWIE is my crack. They know just how much to dangle in front of me to keep me coming back for more.

Don't get me wrong I don't enjoy it. I feel pale after I watch it, underdressed and fat. but on the plus side, I also feel clever. I mean REALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLY clever.

These people are as dumb as a box of frogs.

And yet I still want to watch them!!! Does this say more about me or them? (Don't answer that)

I honestly just can't help myself. I try to keep away. I really do. I don''t want to be just another viewer who says "Reem" and Shuuuuuuut upppppppppppppppppp"

Every Sunday and Wednesday I hope that today will be the day that I finally succeed in getting the orange monkey off my back, and every time I fail. Miserably.

I've even started following them on Twitter. (one a day so no-one notices, I'm even ACTING like an addict. hiding my dirty habit from everyone who cares for me)

I know they can't act, that everything is a set up. I am not that far gone in my love for all things TOWIE that I can't see the wooden for the me's

But I know it won't be long. I am eyeing up Ronseal wondering what shade would suit me best. Perhaps, it IS too late for me.

But you can still save yourselves.

I beg you to stay away from this programme before it sinks deep into your brain. You will think you can handle it, I did too. You will kid yourself that you are in control. You aren't.


And I don't think I am strong enough to break free alone.

Help meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Big Fashionista

If you have been affected by what you have read today or if you or someone close to you is also affected by TOWIE addiction then please, step forward. TOGETHER we may be able to beat this horrible addiction.

Let me know



  1. My name is Super Amazing Mum and I am also a TOWIE addict.

    Let's hold hands (fake baked, diamante bling bling) and beat our addiction together.....

  2. I love it too, I didn't watch the first series but became hooked on the second series. I get excited on a Weds and Sun night. I enjoy watching it with twitter on and I have just followed my first towie star.. I also started a hash tag #towiewatch if you see/spot a star of towie around Essex. Help!

  3. As an animal activist, I object to the reference about frogs...no living creature is as thick as Joey Essex! I must confess though, I watch it, but on the pretence that it is my daughter watching and I am just in the room at the same time :o) (Toni x)

  4. It's the programme I love to hate and I do feel like I would be eligible for Mensa after watching it ;) I loved Joey's gullible face when told about horse power, ha ha

  5. im really sorry but i dont watch it and dont want to, even the adverts make me cringe ... :(


  6. I am also an addict too. Like you it was only supposed to be one episode to see what all the hype was about, but one turned into two which turned into three and so on. Worse still when the series finished I had what you might call withdrawl symptoms and started watching E4s Made in Chelsea!!!

  7. As a mother who has lost her daughter to this terrible, terrible addiction I need to share my story. My once ginger, freckled, cute little girl has had her life ruined by this vile programme. Her addiction has caused her once Persil blue white skin to change to the most horrific bright orange, words can barely do it justice. She spends entire hours applying, removing and re-applying Fake Bake, St Tropez and when the cravings get too bad some really awful cheap stuff that she buys from god knows where that must be mixed with all sorts of vile things. And what is even worse than what her addiction has done to her is what its doing to us as a family. We do not have a single towel or face flannel that isn't stained orange, every single one of our bed sheets is ruined - frankly our lives are in tatters. Reem it ain't.

  8. I am a fellow sufferer and only a few people know about my problem.
    I want to hate it but can't and even OH will tolerate it being on.
    Just find it addictive viewing and you're right about the cliff hangers - you feel compelled to see the next episode.
    I too feel orange and fat after though also grateful I don't take what I look like as seriously as they do...however they all seem to have money to open shops? How is this happening, I'd love a cafe gift shop but they're yet to commission TOWIR; the only way is Richmond.

  9. Only way is essex is brilliant! The only programme i HAVE to see in the week, not even X Factor has that pull on me anymore :) Hope the rumours Mark is leaving aren't true, i love to hate him! haha


  10. Haha I wondered what you were going to say! x x

  11. I love it! Makes me feel like a genius!!

  12. If you love TOWIE you should have a gander at Made in Chelsea. Actual genius.

  13. Dont worry I am a total Made In Chelsea addict. I walk around saying totes and YAH (actually being from chelsea I already did the Yah thing *cringe*) all day long. I know these shows are scripted.. but f**kme I love them!

  14. Made In Chelsea - yes. Dumb rich people who don't realise we're laughing at them... it's classic. And they're pretty (cept Cheska)

    TOWIE... just no. No no no no no no no.

    Chavtastic tangerine people who can't remember the lines to their scripted conversations and wear their trainers one size too small.

    Just... no, Big Fash! Step away from the Sky Plus box!



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