Thursday, 3 November 2011

Baby baby baby oh (no)

Justin Bieber has never really been on my radar, I'm a 35 year old woman with an actual working brain and twenty years past fancing pop stars (But if Matt Goss is reading this, I still would hun............ call me) but today it has been alleged that he has fathered a child with a fan.

Really?

I have to admit that I think of Justin Bieber as a Ken doll sort of creation, completely sexless, manufactured and plastic (yeah, I went there)

As someone pointed out to me on Twitter today "Surely Bieber was created in a laboratory"


I have to agree

I wonder what the formula is for a Bieber monster creation anyway?

Three parts teeth
Six parts hair
One percent talent

Voila, I think I may have created the next "Big Thing"

Maybe if I build five of them I could make a boy band with floppy hair and a smidgeon of talent between them........................................................ (What do you mean it's already been done? Who is this One Direction of which you speak) 



So everyone is up in arms that ALLEGEDLY (I really can't afford a solicitor at the moment) Justin Bieber is now a daddy?

Fans are sobbing, JLS are concerned about their condom contract and Twitterers are busy making up new hashtags

#ThingsThatLastLongerThanKimKardashiansMarriageJustinsOrgasms

#WhosTheDaddyJustinsTheDaddy

#ImpregnatemeNextJustin

(Disclaimer, I may have just made these up-Don't sue me)


People are genuinely shocked. Now I don't know if it is true (to be honest, I don't really care) all I know is that the tabloids will be having a field day and out there is an innocent child that is either the offspring of a child OR the offspring of a fantasist.

Poor child.
(and I don't mean Bieber)



What do you think?

Are you amused at the Bieber story? Do you even know who Bieber is? (or care)

And can anyone else hear the sound of Hugh Grant sobbing with relief that the story broke the same day he announced his love child?
(I'll be back for you Mr Grant, don't worry about that)


Let me know



Big Fashionista x x
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8 comments

  1. I love this post! I have to say though, some of his 'Beliebers' are pretty darn crazy, so I wouldn't be surprised if it was just another deranged fan coming up with it. If not, I Definately think it will make great viewing if he did an episode of 16 & Pregnant :D

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  2. it scares me more not that 15 year old girls are obsessed with him but that grown women are in love... he is a child, he looks about 12 get over it :S

    www.missmathful.blogspot.com

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  3. hahaha... love that you openly declare that JB is just like Ken! I totally agree.

    Love the blog BTW, keep it up!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Fine work BF. However, you copied the Bieber recipe down wrong ... I think that's the recipe for JLS.
    You need to add 2 parts of thick skin and 3 parts air brush after whisking for Bieber.

    Good post, you just need to be careful with the formulas ... we don't want teenagers trying to cook up a Beiber in their bedroom and end up with JLS.

    Thanks,
    Paul

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  5. Haha - Holy Moly appears to have found her Myspace account and it is HILARIOUS.

    http://www.holymoly.com/celebrity/pictures/mariah-yeater-girl-accusing-justin-bieber-fathering-her-baby-looks-fun60248

    As if that waxwork boy has sperm. It's obviously a lie.

    RCx

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  6. What I find amusing is that the woman was apparently 19 and Ms. Bieber was 16 at the time. Given that the age of consent in California is 18, if the dna test proves positive, the law might want a word with her. Then again, I'm not sure if that law applies to lesbian sex...

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  7. Can't be his baby, dolls don't have willies.

    That is all.

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  8. You forgot to mention the fact that they had sex for 30 seconds...

    Need I say more?

    ReplyDelete

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