Tuesday, 15 November 2011

Freddie, Jason, Michael.

Did these guys make my life hell when I was younger or what!

Nope, not teen boyfriends, much worse.

Freddie Krueger

Jason Vorhees

Micheal Myers

Well at least these guys gave me the willies (What can I say, I was a GOOD girl)

I have to confess, since I was a teenager I have always hated horror films. I am the original scaredy cat, a total wussy pants.

Now I don't mind films with blood and guts. I can sit and watch the Saw films with a jam sandwich in one hand and a turkey leg in the other (What can I say, I'm a classy chick like that) but add some moody, building the anticipation music and a knock on the door and I become a quivering wreck.

I just don't like being scared. I tried to watch Paranormal Activity the other week, It took me three days, I lost two fingernails and took about four years off my life expectancy. (I think the missing fingernails may still be embedded in Mr Fashionistas hand)

I have never been a fan of scary films, even the sound of the Jaws music is enough to make me turn over the channel to cleanse myself in good old Disney. (There is never anyone hiding behind a door ready to disembowel and eat your brains in Tangled is there?)

I know they aren't real, of course I do. But my body goes into fight or flight mode at the first sign of something even vaguely scary and I just can't watch for long.

Even when I really want to try to face my irrational fears.

Picture the scene. Three friends go to the cinema, the film we wanted to see was fully booked so we thought it would be interesting to watch The Strangers. I tell myself, I'm 35 for gods sake. I think I can sit through a film for two hours without squealing.

I would like to take this opportunity to apologise to everyone in the rows around me who had to watch as I slowly disintegrated into a snivelling, sobbing, puddle who rocked back and forth muttering "s'not real, s'not real, s'not real" (I'm not apologising to the three teenagers who decided that watching me was so much funnier than the film and were wetting themselves at my demise-Kids today, no respect)

Seriously, that film was SCARY. You know the sort of film, someone goes to the window, the music starts to build, they pull back the curtains and BANG, nothing. But the music gets louder, they go back to the window, (why are they going back to the window? Why?) the music gets even louder, they pull back the curtain again and NOTHING. They start to walk away from the window but they want to have one last look. (By this time I am screaming at my television that they deserve everything they have coming to them, fools) they open the curtain and there is someone there ready to slice off their face and eat it in a baguette with fried red onions. (God, I'm hungry)

My heart can't take this level of anticipation and fright. I rate films on whether I will watch them from behind a pillow, a duvet or Mr Fashionista.

I could avoid these films all together, but where would be the fun in that. A little fright every now and then surely helps us to remember that we are alive.





Doesn't it?


Let me know


Big Fashionista x x x
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7 comments

  1. I'm the complete opposite when it comes to horror - I LOVE the weirdy music ones that make my heart thump like mad, but I couldn't watch Saw. Anything with actual gore makes me physically sick, I can't do it!

    Does anyone else watch videos like that one up there sitting as far back as they can from the screen, with their eyes squinted and the sound muted? Or is that just me... xx

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  2. Haha I am just as bad - I was just reading your post when someone knocked on my office door and I jumped feet! Heart still pounding! LOL

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  3. I thought the strangers was a really poor film and wasnt scary in the slightest. I love Horrors. The best one I have ever seen is insidious! I recommend that BIG FASHIONISTA not to watch that mind. You will prob have nightmares for therest of your life by the sounds of it! lol

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  4. Oh dear god no, I am right with you. Watched Nightmare on Elm Street, had nightmares til I was married. Even now I get the urge to hold the phone away from me in case a tongue comes out and licks my face, eek just made myself shudder! Hate being frightened and hate gore too. Anything by Pixar, other than that you can keep your popcorn!

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  5. Absolutely not watching whatever that video is.

    The Ring Girl Phones 4 U advert gives me nightmares for cryin out loud. I spent the entire press night of Ghost Stories with my eyes closed and my fingers in my ears, and I CANNOT sit in the stalls for the end of Woman In Black.

    Die scary movies die.

    RitziCx

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  6. Aww bless. I'm scared of zombie films and won't watch gore fests like saw but general horrors are ok. Paranormal activity I didn't think was scary, and your YouTube clip made me lol :)

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  7. sometimes i love scarey films and sometimes i really cant take them, i think you have to be in the right mood :D

    www.missmathful.blogspot.com

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