Tuesday, 8 November 2011

A Pregnant Royal Pause

So tabloids, teen sites and fashion watchers everywhere are rubbing their hands together in glee at the thought that Kate Middleton, Catherine Windsor or whatever we are meant to call her now, may possibly be up the duff.

Personally I don't give a monkeys. I am still in therapy from Victoria Beckhams pregnancy, the spawning of Suri Cruise and be careful because the Beyonce is-she-isn't-she farce is going to tip me over the edge pretty soon.

I am REALLY hoping that Kate is just messing with the media. Her and Wills were sitting up late one evening in their Holiday Inn (NON-SPONSORED, it could be any other budget motel room) drinking Babycham, eating Haagen Daaz and Jelly Belly (Sponsor me. please) Jelly Beans and decided that the funniest thing they could do on their trip as they didn't manage to drag Grandad Phillip along for "giggles" was pretend to be "with child"

I wouldn't put it past Kate to do her next official visit in tracksuit bottoms carrying a lump of coal, ice chips and a vomit bag.

I know I would.

(Although to be fair I would have walked down the aisle with a pillow shoved up my Vera Wang (Not a euphamism) just to mess with everyones head)

This is REALLY going to mess with Reiss hiding their larger sizes policy isn't it?
Do they even do Maternity?

Maybe, and I am just going to throw this out there. Maybe, she just doesn't like peanuts. Maybe when she was caught rubbing her stomach yesterday, she was thinking, "Crikey guv'nor, I am so bloody hungry I would eat peanut paste if it was put in front of me right now"

(No I really don't know why I just made Kate sound like Dick Van Dyke, It just fitted, don't judge me)

Is there not enough tabloid fodder out there at the moment?

Has Frankie Cocozza not shagged enough "birds"

(How many would be enough anyway?)

Are there not enough fashion disasters happening on a daily basis for the fashion watchers out there to sharpen their Shellacs on?

I am pretty sure there are.

I can only imagine what Liz Jones and the Daily Mail will have to say on the subject if she IS pregnant.
(Especially if she got pregnant while abroad!!!!! Oh the shame. They would probably call on William to abdicate for making immigration numbers rise)

And what terrifies me is I'm wondering if Channel 5 will attempt to buy the birth rights!
(This is Brian Dowling, we're coming to get youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu)

You know they'll think about it don't you?

What do you think?

Would Kate knock Beyonce off her stylish pregnancy pedestal?

Are you considering emigrating to somewhere without media or internet connection if she is preggers?

Do you honestly even care one way or the other?

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x


  1. I will be only interested if she pops up on the Mumsnet name threads - always guaranteed a laugh - pondering whether she should go hipster or classic.

  2. The best comment I read somewhere pointed out that Kate refused peanut paste (doesnt sound yummy really, does it!). The Queen recently refused beer on a brewery visit. Does that mean she is pregnant?!

    It'll happen if/when it does and as I don't know them personally, it's not of huge interest. (Unless we get a day off to celebrate the royal christening...?)

  3. Truly couldn't give a royal rats arse whose pregnant these days... but... enjoyed your blog as always!
    Ps. pass the peanut spread over here ... i fancy a nibble :)) x

  4. The way I look at it is...would she care if I was up the stick? Nope. Feeling's mutual then love!! ;)

  5. I'm with Computergirl...if we get a day off to celebrate the Royal impregnation/birth/christening/first tooth whatever then I will wave my flag and drink my Pimms with the rest of the over sentimental, passionate-for-one-day Royalists that populate this great land of ours....*cough*. Anyway...if we get a day off, I likey. On the other hand if it's just going to mean that I can't move for tabloid (read arse wipe paper) bollocks about Kate's bump, Kate's cravings, Kate's maternity wear, Kate's fucking million pound nursery then quite frankly I don't give a flying. There. Vented. Thanks...carry on! :-)

  6. I'm an Anglophile so I do care to a certain degree by default. Wanna bet the kid will have a Twitter account within the hour after he/she is born? 8)

  7. The British do seem to have a strong fascination with their Royal family and it is a real love/hate relationship. There seems to be a lot of sarcasm in it. It's dripping with it. Do you like them or don't you?

  8. yes it will be ncie when she does have a baby dont get me wrong.. .but literally i rub my tummy about a million times a day... oh i have tummy ache, ive eaten a big meal, my rousers are too tight... it could be anything, i wish the media would just get over it with all their stupid speculation...


  9. Enjoyed your post to no end, I thought the mania created by Pippa's rear would never end, now if the tabloids are going to speculate about whether Kate is preggers everytime she declines something to eat/drink until she finally announces the fact- might drive a person nuts-has anyone noticed she is skinny, and many skinny people don't eat much, don't go around tasting random stuff, and don't snack on peanut paste or whatever so why assume she's preggers? I'm rambling, I'll stop now, keep the posts coming.

  10. Oh its good for you , being pregnant . You must know that you may get hair loss when youre pregnant so you must read this blog first .

    Dizziness during Pregnancy


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