Wednesday, 23 November 2011

Wife replacement service

I'm not an iPhone user, I am a (currently ungrateful) disciple at the alter of Crackberry.

All this talk of 5G, 3rd gen and 4S, It all just sounds like an insiders code to me, something that iPhone users just say to confuse those that are not in the know. I do have an iPod Touch however and I do abuse its capabilities to the MAX.

But something on the iPhone 4S has now caught my attention.


Now according to Apple, Siri is the intelligent personal assistant that does things just by asking...................................................................................

This isn't new.

This is a mother, or a wife.

"How is my day looking"?

"Well darling, you have work all day, then it's a night in front of the TV before going to bed and gaining carnal knowledge of my body"

"Thank you my love"

"Do I have a meeting today?"

"No, you are a 3 year old child, the only meeting you have today is with a double episode of Peppa Pig and some toast triangles"

"I need a wee wee"

I like the idea of Siri, I really do. Especially if it can deal with the nonsense that I really don't have time for.

"Siri, where did my daughter leave her shoes" (good luck with that one)

"Siri, who DID actually start the argument between my ten year old and eleven year old" (A little hint, usually the five year old started it, then made a tactical withdrawal)

"Siri, where do babies come from?" ( Saves me a long embarrassing conversation that I really don't want to have)

I like the idea of Siri, I really do, I think she could become the sort of replacement that I could handle.

If Mr Fashionista ever notices that I am gone and starts looking for me, do you think Siri will grass me up that I've gone to a spa?

Do you have Siri?

Is it fun? Is it? Is it?

What is the strangest thing you've asked it?

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x


  1. The thought of Siri creeps me out - I just find it a bit lazy and also a bit too high long before Siri rebels and takes over the world? I blatantly watch too many technological apocalypse films...I Robot, Terminator....

  2. It WILL happen. I'm with you on this one!!!!!

    Scared now

  3. My sister in law has just bought herself the new iphone, but unfortunately Siri does not understand the very glamorous Scottish accent :( for example when winding up her brother she said text - hibs are pants , Siri didn't understand her and txt the brother herbs are plants! Very hilarious but not practical! (hibs is the football team haha)
    So good if he can understand you, not good if you're Scottish

  4. I'm even more behind than you with a clunky seldom responsive Android. I would like an Iphone but to me, its just an unnecessary expense just so you can walk down the street with it in your hand in an obvious "look at me with my Iphone".Then get mugged like Jason Gardiner did.
    Whats wrong with a diary to list what you need to do? Its all a bit AI to me, nasty robot type things which will take over the universe. Can you imagine if they all went mad and sent us off to do stuff we weren't meant to?

  5. Um I don't have a smartphone. At all. I refuse to get one, because I'm crap with phones and I can't justify buying something I know I'll feck up.

    Now, on the other hand, I am a fan of sites like cleverbot where you can just get a group of people around a computer and laugh your a$$ off at the automated responses, because they're all random, but this? THIS is evil. EVIL! Someone go find Tom Cruise and Dakota Fanning and defeat the thing immediately.

  6. Look. I have a crappy old iPhone and it doesn't even have the energy to stay charged for more than five minutes so how it would even begin to think about organising my life is a mystery beyond infinity, the universe, God, pert boobs and reliable men. Feck it and the horse it rode in on, I say.
    Someone told me I need a Brain on my PC...that was pretty much a fail too. :(

  7. Well I don't even have a phone so I can't really comment on Siri whatsit but I did laugh at the "where do babies come from?" question (obviously a question). I remember as a very earnest young mum explaining to my equally earnest eldest child (oh one is so earnest with one's first) that the sperm and the egg meet and fited together "a bit like the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle darling" bear in mine my son was about 18mnths son proceeded to fit the crusts of his sandwich together and apart, chanting "the sperm and the egg" over and over and at each lunchtime for the next few days.


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