Tuesday, 13 December 2011

Cupboard Jenga

So, after being feeling extremely clumsy lately, I have decided that I am in fact NOT a complete uncoordinated mess, I have just created a brand new game which anyone can play.

Cupboard Jenga


Best played in the kitchen it is a truly simple game that can leave you in stitches (and I'm not talking in a laughing way either)

Now you have to bear in mind that I am 5ft 4in and for some reasons my cupboards are really high. I'm really not very good at this game.

What you need to do is reach into your cupboard and pull something out. (I know, simple right?) If you can pull out the item? Well done, you are a winner. (smartarse)

If (like me) you attempt to take something out of the cupboard and tins and other kitchen products rain down upon you like lightning bolts thrown from Zeus,

You are playing Cupboard Jenga.

This game is not suitable for persons 3 or under.

In fact this game is not suitable for anyone really. Lately I have got quite an expert at losing at this game.

I have discovered that tins of beans hurt. A tub of cotton buds will always hit the floor and scatter like children from a broken window. Pot Noodles are the devils work and can do triple back somersaults to make sure they catch you on the head with the sharp edge (Pot Noodles are, in my opinion the devils work anyway) and no matter how many attempts you make to catch the crushed chilis you never, EVER will and you will be finding them for weeks on the worktop and floor (bloody git things)

The best cupboard to use to learn how to play this game is probably the medicine cupboard, (although if you get hit with a bottle of Night Nurse, you will probably need a bloody nurse, and don't sue me, I don't got nuffink) I'm not judging you but if you have a nice soft cupboard full of tablet boxes then you might want to start there. (Diclofenac boxes falling on your head are like kisses from angels)


If you have children and you have a cupboard full of packed lunch stuff then chances are you have played Cupboard Jenga at one point or the other in your life. Give me a packet of cheesy wotsits falling on my head over a KitKat Chunky any day of the week (Although if a KitKat chunky falls out of the cupboard, that badboy is MINE)

Another place that is damn scary to play Cupboard Jenga is the cupboard full of tins, Why is the tin I want always behind the suicide tins? The suicide tins are the ones just waiting to jump out of the cupboard every time I open the door. And if they are going down, they are taking me with them. I never win at Cupboard Jenga in the tin cupboard, I've given up even trying. (I let the children climb on the worktops like little Growler Monkeys and pass me down what I need)

Really when I think about it, Cupboard Jenga is not a fun game to play, but I bet at least a couple of you out there are playing it, and now at least you know what it's called.


Do you play Cupboard Jenga?


How did you get on?

Any scars?  Or do you have some handy tips for me to help me dodge falling tins?


Let me know


Big Fashionista x x
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9 comments

  1. I'm even shorter than you! My tip is to use a pair of long kitchen tongs or two spatulas and grab things from a safer distance...Not foolproof but occasionally works
    Better yet, yell for somebody with longer reach to help - in my house that's everybody except the cat :-P

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  2. Oh yes. At 5ft 2.5" I play all the time. My worst loss was when a full (luckily plastic) bottle of olive oil jumped at me whilst I was reaching for a tin, the lid came off and oil glugged everywhere. Not only was it a complete mare to clean up but now my kitchen floor looks like it has a permanent damp patch.

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  3. I really do love your writing style - who knew cupboard avalanches could be so fun?!

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  4. This is the stuff of my nightmares. Ha!
    Everything in my cupboards live in baskets or plastic tubs so I can pull those out and have a look inside meaning I don't drop anything.
    This started after one too many cans-of-kidney-beans-falling-on-my-head-and-then-onto-my-toes incidents and my neighbours complaining about my constant kitchen based swearing.

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  5. I often play this game, have you also tried Wardrobe Jenga and toy cupboard jenga? I also play this Game with my Kitchen bin, as my husband refuses toempty the bin ( its the goddamn housework job assigned to him. Basically as the bin gets fuller delicately place everything on it as best as you can without it falling. Whoever is the one to makeit all fall is the loser and has to take the bin out!! Please may I add that my big is hidden in the pantry so my visitors do not get tosee this wonderful game in action :)

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  6. I often play this game, have you also tried Wardrobe Jenga and toy cupboard jenga? I also play this Game with my Kitchen bin, as my husband refuses toempty the bin ( its the only goddamn housework job assigned to him. Basically as the bin gets fuller delicately place everything on it as best as you can without it falling. Whoever is the one to make it all fall is the loser and has to take the bin out!! Please may I add that my bin is hidden in the pantry so my visitors do not get to see this wonderful game in action :)

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  7. Yes play this on a daily basis being 5' 2.5" - also have been playing this today sorting out cupboards ready to welcome the boys home from uni (at least only one has to empty his room in halls completely!)
    I now try and store all my tins at floor level, it was just way too dangerous having them above head height!

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  8. Im tall enough to avoid at home BUT it works the other way in supermarkets, when something I want is on a low shelf and I cba to bend to get it, Ill just yank..... Last time it was a jar of nutella that landed on my foot and bruised it like a bad apple. :(

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  9. Not height related (I'm 5'9), but I did once pick up a 3/4 full four pack of Smirnoff Blacks only to have one of the bottles fall out and shatter on the tiled kitchen floor. Of course it was when I was about to go to bed (was just moving them to the 'fridge, honest), hence had bare feet, and had also just put the roll of paper kitchen towels away out of reach. So there I was in the middle of the night, surrounded by a lake of broken glass and sticky alcoholic lemonade, and with no one within earshot and not much to hand with which to start cleaning up the mess. Not my finest moment.

    Still better than when my boss accidentally pushed a bottle of chicory essence off the top shelf back in my nightfill days, mind :)

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