Friday, 30 December 2011

Shopping with girls

I really didn't think that there was a way to make shopping in the sales more hellish than it already is.

I was wrong. In fact I was SO wrong, I wasn't even in the same postcode as wrong, I was in the area NEXT to wrong, which is reserved for things that are so wrong they couldn't possibly ever be right, because it is wrong.

I must have had a glass (bottle) or two over my usual limit as had I decided it would be great fun to take my eleven year old daughter and her two friends shopping in the sales for the day.

(Ok, it may have been that the choice was either shopping or a sleepover. I'm pretty, I'm not dumb)

Now I've been shopping with my daughter before, but I never knew what a minefield I was walking into when I agreed she could bring some friends.

Did you know there were rules?

Well no-one told me!!!!!!!!!


My outfit.

I had to be checked and approved before I could leave the house. (The Converse could stay, the hat with ears had to go) The jeans and checked shirt was seen as acceptable (with just a couple of disappointed looks thrown my way occasionally) and the Lipsy bag was bargained over as a loan to daughter and denied. (Chalk one up to mum)

Luckily I am a quick learner, I learnt almost immediately that I was NOT allowed to walk with the girls, five or steps behind was fine but if by chance they met up with someone they knew I had to be alert enough to dive into a nearby shop like I was hiding from the taxman (Covers eyes, he can't see me can he?)

I was not allowed to make conversations with my daughters friends, the only time I asked if they were having fun I was rewarded with an eye roll from my daughter and giggles from the friends.

Luckily I was allowed to sit and eat lunch with them, (Still no conversation) and then we went our separate ways for a while. I was like a dog being let off a leash, I wanted to bound up to people and say "hello, hello" (no face licking, I told you, I learn fast)  I was that starved of affection that if someone would have nodded to me as they walked past I would've showed them all my purchases and even modelled my new coat for them if they hadn't run away screaming by that point. (New coat. Republic, purchased with my Westfield christmas voucher, thank you in-laws)

An hour later and I was back in full-on mother mode. Five paces behind, holding the bags, no conversation. (The only way there could have been MORE rules for me was if I was on a list somewhere)

I was exhausted, they were hyped up on sugar and whatever crack-like fumes they pump into the air at sales time.

I felt like I had been through the wringer, they were wondering if they could stay for a couple more hours.

I felt old, they felt like staying a couple more hours.

A few hours later................... and I put my Converse clad (oh I'm SO down wiv da kidz) foot down, we were going home. 

At which point all the girls actually made direct eye contact with me, (direct, I could have wept with gratitude!!) and said "Thanks so much for bringing us today Kellie, we really appreciate it"

to which I replied, "No problem girls, shall we do it again next weekend?"

Bites tongue off and feeds it to self.

Ooooooooooh those clever, clever girls........................................................

I reckon I've been played, what do you think?

And next time I'm wearing my hat with ears, they can like it or lump it.

What do you think, have you experienced the "rules" when shopping with your children. Are there any more rules I need to watch out for NEXT TIME. (kicks self)

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x x


  1. This is so funny :) It just made my morning (I'm at work so shhh). I love your writing :)
    The frog picture is awesome too :) xx

  2. Great Blog especially love this Post! Was very entertaining to read but also truthful.. Makes me think back of the time I used to shop with my Mum years ago and if I was the same as a Teen...

  3. No worries Kellie.
    By the time she's 20 she will really appreciate your coolmotherness!

  4. First off, you have an 11 year old?! You don't look old enough!
    Secondly, my future life has just been written out in a blog post! My 5 year old is a master shopper and already choosing stuff herself, lord help me in 6 years time when she wants to shop with friends.

    I will pray for my bank card!

  5. Thanks guys, there were some fun bits.....

    Going home was one of them I must admit.

    KD I have an 11 yr old, a 10yr old and a 5yr old
    And you've just made my day :-D

  6. When they get to 16, it's more like:

    1) Drive to town, park car

    2) Abuse credit card in Primark, ensure Mum doesn't buy the coat with horses on it by RINGING HER MATES to tell her not to as well

    3) "Right Mum, thanks, I'm off to meet Jessie/Dylan/Engelbert, see you later. Are you alright taking the bags back to the car? Oh and can I have some money?"

    4) Enter Costa stage right, LARGE strong one with everything

    5) Cart bags to car, drive home

    6) Wait for text saying spent bus money on Red Bull

    7) Drive back to town


  7. It looks like you have unfortunately been played there... here's hoping next time they want to go shopping is early morning during the week!

  8. I haven't gone near the sales, you're a braver woman than me!


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