Saturday, 30 April 2011

Fashion rules are made to be broken

Now I'm sure that it's just that my invite got lost in the post. (Royal Fail)

But if I had received my invitation to the right royal knees up of the century I would have had to think long and hard before attending.

Quite frankly the thought of being judged by what I wore is terrifying.

Judged by millions of style gurus everywhere saying "Her backside is larger than the horses in that dress" or "Not quite her colour is it? Didn't the marquee come in black"

The fashionista knives are out and won't be put away until blood is drawn.

I can't judge people like that. Don't get me wrong, I can judge better than Judy nd rest assured I WILL judge you, but not just on what you wore.

Surely there is more to life than that.

(Cue the fainting of fashionistas everywhere-Say it aint so)

I dress for ME and if that offends other people? Meh

You will never see me write a post running down individuals for their fashion sense.

Fashion is fluid and individual, who wants to follow the trend when  you can set it?

One days HOT is the next days NOT

and that just isn't for me.

Because lets be honest here (Fashionistas may want to cover their ears at this point)

There is more to life than Fashion.



What do you think?


Big Fashionista
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Friday, 29 April 2011

Nom or Vom

Ladies everywhere are sobbing into their hankies (do women ACTUALLY carry hankies anymore)

It's not about the actual wedding they just want to be a princess for a day,

So before he is taken off the market forever

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Would ya? Could ya?

Prince William

(Obviously the naked shots were thin on the ground, although I did see a rather dubious sex tape)





Now I have to add that at this point in the proceedings I actually feel physically ill. I can't actually Nom over this guy at all.

But if you can, Crack on.



Erm, I have NO idea how that got there, honest ;-)


So, Prince William?

Nom or Vom x
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Thursday, 28 April 2011

Retro Big F

I'm coming up on my first year blogiversary on May 4th and in that year so much has happened and I've written so many posts that I thought I would repost one or two of my older posts that some of you may have missed but I am still so proud of.

(No Paul Rudd naked this time guys, sorry bout that)




This one was posted on Wednesday, 29 September 2010. I hope you enjoy reading as much as I enjoyed writing it.


I'm A Grown Up!!! No-one told me!!!

Apparently at age 34, I am a grown up!!! (who knew) This crushing blow was dealt to me by my 10 year old daughter after I had busted some moves to the latest Taio Cruz son in the privacy of my own kitchen!!!!!



"What the hell are you doing?"



"Dancing"



"Well don't................... you are a grown up, it's just embarrassing" cue pitying look and sad shake of the head.



WHHHHHAAAAAATTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!



Seriously I don't think it had crossed my mind before!!! I still expect people to ask me what I want to be when I grow up (Usual answer, a Tree)



When did this happen? Responsibilities seem to have slipped through my letterbox with the bills while I was out with my friends having a great time and built up until that is it. BANG you're a grown-up.



I don't feel any different from when I was a teen. I still have the body of a 19 year old (avoids the disturbing desire to add, Yeah, buried in the basement) It is just that I buried her in a layer of fat. I still like all the latest songs. (I just get the odd word or two wrong....... there are no lyrics anymore, not like in my day..... oh crap)



And so what if when I was a teen I used to show my friends my latest purchase and shriek, "Look at this, FIFTY QUID this cost me" whereas now I say "Look, look, a FIVER, bargain or what"



I used to like Malibu & Pineapple, now give me a nice glass of wine and i'm happy. Does that HAVE to mean i'm a grown-up?



When does this grown-up thing happen anyway? I remember wishing for it when I was a teenager. It couldn't come quick enough. It was always used as a get-out-clause by parents wasn't it?



"When you are a grown-up, you will understand"



I hated those words, I yearned for that elusive grown-up status. Now, take it away, I didn't order this.



Being a grown up is scary. (Does this mean that I can't go on the swings in the park anymore) I prefer the idea of not labelling anyone a grown up. It sounds so staid and frankly quite boring. I want to carry on waving at strangers out of the car window as I drive past so that they spend the day wondering who that was in the car (juvenile, but so much fun as you watch them crane to see who it is they are waving to) I want to discuss which of the Jonas Bros I would Snog, Marry, Kill. (I will never share that info with anyone other than my diary)



So I will bust some moves to Taio Cruz, I will be found on the swings at the park.



(I have been reliably informed that if I do any of this within 200 ft of my children or anyone that they know, may know or could know in the future-they are calling Childline)



I'm a grown-up?



WHATEVER.
 
 
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Wednesday, 27 April 2011

Childrens TV

Ever been looked at with pity?

As if you had a deprived childhood?

Sit down and tell your children that there used to only be FOUR TV channels.

No designated Childrens TV channels, In fact the only childrens TV was from 3pm until 5.35pm when Neighbours started!!

The look that they give you is a cross between telling you your puppy is dead and that your favourite trousers don't fit you any more.

Pure pain wrapped up in discomfort and pity.


It's a harrowing look.

Trust me, you never want to see that look.

(although I may practice the look to give out when needed)

Nowadays children have fantastic TV. There are so many childrens channels, They even get the channels PLUS ONE.

A little BF secret, Childrens TV is my guilty pleasure.


Or at least it was.


I've just come off a two week stretch. I'm due for parole today (Half term)

Childrens TV has left me practically homicidal.

Peppa Pig has me craving bacon.

Mr Tumble? Well let's just say that Mr Tumble has me craving sharp instruments (Looooooook, Mr Tumble a knife. Stabby movements) Or blunt instruments (Look Mr Tumble, a club. Make like a seal cub Mr Tumble)

Hannah Montana has practically left me with diabetes it is so sickly sweet and filled with life lessons.

(A pox on The Disney Channel and all its child stars)

And let's not even get me started on In The Night Garden. A farting airship, A small OCD creature, teeny tiny families that I assume are renting their property and not disclosing the full occupancy,

The madness!!!!!! and we let little ones watch this? It should only be watched by............... Hell, no-one.


But you have to wonder WHY we have all these channels just for children.

Do they need them? Are their lives so boring that they need to fill their time with TV? Or is it just another way to keep children indoors and off the streets?

and just because it's there, it really doesn't mean they HAVE to watch it.

Well that's my view and I'm sticking to it.

Next school holiday I'm cutting the plug off my TV with a sharp knife. A knife? Oooooooh Mr Tumble...................................


and we are going to do something fun that doesn't turn me into a homicidal wreck.


Anyone have any opinion about childrens TV?

Does it leave you frothing at the mouth?

Or do you think the electric babysitter has its uses in small doses?


Let me know,

Or Mr Tumble gets it.


Big Fashionista x x
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Tuesday, 26 April 2011

Is it a bird?

Is it a bird? Is it a plane?

No it is a SUPER INJUNCTION.

Faster than a speeding bullet and wrapped up tighter than a kitten in a sack on boxing day, Super injunctions are out saving the arse of celebrities, sportsmen and people of public interest daily.

Super injunctions do not sleep. they work constantly and tirelessly to stop you finding out who is shagging who.

From footballers shagging Big Brother contestants to actors who kiss like virgins, The Super Injunction flexes it's muscles so silently that you never even know that it's there.

It isn't that I don't want to know. It is just that I'm not allowed to know.

And why is that? What is the reason that most people give when they obtain a Super Injunction?

As Andrew Marr put it so hypocritically this morning.

"I was trying to protect my familys privacy"

Surely he should have thought of that before he tripped, fell and landed in someones va-jay-jay.

I'm not sure how much truth there is in the rumour that the woman involved is now trying to obtain an injunction of her own so that she doesn't die of embarrassment when her friends find out she shagged Andrew Marr.

And the social media view is that Andrew Marr should have taken out ADS not an injunction!!! (He ugly)

But why should a Super Injunction be used? Should the rich and famous be entitled to more privacy than the rest of us? Does someone in the public eye who uses the media or even one who appears to shun the limelight be entitled to keep their private lives private?

Or is it open season for tabloids the first time you appear on a reality tv show or a soap?

Should you have to leave your privacy at the door when you leave your morals on a hotel room floor?

Or should you expect that when you lie down with dogs (cough, Wayne Rooney) you are going to get fleas?



What do you think of Super Injunctions?

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x
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Was that it?

So how many people are laying in bed at the moment thinking "So was that it?"

No, not a case of some morning loving gone wrong. (or right, in some cases)

The grey sky? The need for a jacket again?

Hang on.

Is SUMMER OVER?

We've been spoiled I agree. I have white lines (No, I'm not going to show you) a brown face and I definitely feel like I've piled on a couple of pounds lately due to BBQ season. (and wine season opening early this year)

I'm sure the season opens earlier each year. One year it might just stay open forever!!!


Anyone else think that the BBQ season is the best part of the year and yet also the strangest?

Men who won't even lift a finger in the kitchen at any other time of the year suddenly turn into Heston Blumenthal and feel the need to cook meat which they then bring to us and expect rapturous rounds of applause. (anyone else ever had a round of applause for cooking dinner? Nope, me either)

There is the obligitory argument over the pink chicken.

Too much salad is made.

and various sauces which you wouldn't usually buy are purchased so that the host with the most can walk around saying, "Try this, it's disgusting"

Oh yes BBQ season. A time that really defines summer.

and the thought that it is over?

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Plus, how else will I be able to laugh at people with sunburn? or admire hot guys who take off their tops? (and sneer at people who should really put tops on)

Yes I know it is April and Summer has yet to arrive properly but when you have had as much fun as I have and then it gets taken away from you it makes you worry that all you have to look forward to is rain and cricket. (and I HATE cricket)

I'm off to roll in Coconut oil try to recapture the summer (plus dig out a jumper or two)

PS If you see smoke I'm just woprking out how to cook stew on the BBQ.

Anyone else had a great summer?

Share your memories......................

and a blanket.

Big Fashionista x x
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Monday, 25 April 2011

Nom or Vom Lite

Nom or Vom Lite

Dwayne Johnson AKA The Rock























So what do we think?

Nom or Vom?
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Sunday, 24 April 2011

Nom or Vom Lite

Happy Easter everyone.

















Adam Levine?


Nom or Vom Lite?

Big Fashionista x x
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Saturday, 23 April 2011

Nom or Vom Lite

Enjoy the long weekend everyone.

This is how it works.

Just one picture.

A hot one.

Nom or Vom Lite.

Simple.

So the first Nom or Vom lite is.

Shemar Moore.

Derek Morgan from Criminal Minds
























What do we think?

Nom or Vom?
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Friday, 22 April 2011

Nom or Vom

There was a request this week for someone dirty.

You know the type? The sort of guy that pushes you against the wall, snogs your face off and leaves you breathless for more. That runs his fingers down your back and makes you go weak at the knees. (pauses to gather train of thought)

(Ok, So I may have requested this myself but hey, my blog my rules)


This weeks Nom or Vom is Tommy Lee.

As you can imagine it wasn't that difficult finding some naked pics!!!

But I was mildly disturbed by the Tommy Lee Jones naked pics!!! :-)



Look at that attitude, now possibly not the most attractive man in the world but his attititude makes him damn irresistable.


Naked pic, Loving the tatts, The dirty rocker look works for me.
 He just embodies Sex, Drugs and Rock n Roll doesn't he?


Cheeky!!!!!!!!!!


A shirt and tie?????????
Ooooooooh la la.


So what do we think?


Nom or Vom


Big Fashionista x
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Thursday, 21 April 2011

Funeral songs

I am extremely scared of death. Terrified in fact. As a child I used to sob in my pillow terrified that I would die.

Occasionally I still do.

When I was a teenager I even joined a church to see if they held the answers (They didn't)

The only thing that for some reason makes me feel a little better is planning my funeral songs.

It gives me a feeling of control.

First song.


Guns & Roses

Don't Cry.

Second song


Andrea Bocelli

Time To Say Goodbye


Third song

The Beatles

While My Guitar Gently Weeps

and then just as my coffin goes behind the curtain for the last time and everyone sobs (Ooooh they better sob)


My Finale.


Kasabian

Fire.


(Had to be done didn't it?)


So what are your funeral songs?

Have you already got them planned out?

Let me know.

Big Fashionista x x
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Wednesday, 20 April 2011

Missing out?

Apparently, I'm missing out.

I haven't lived.

someone even went as far as to call me a disgrace (hurtful)

What have I done to deserve such disdain and malice?


My crime is to admit that I have never in all my thirty-something years on this fine earth............................................................................


WATCHED CHITTY CHITTY BANG BANG.



What do you mean I'm a disgrace? Don't you lot start!!!!!!!

I never meant to ignore the fun and frolics of Angela Lansbury, Dick Van Dyke and those little cute children (There are children in it aren't there? Or am I confusing it with Mary Poppins) It just never appealed to me.

And for that I am cast out like four day old salmon?


I read The DaVinci code, I've even watched The Only Way Is Essex to see what all the fuss is about. (It's shite) I like to think I am down wiv da kidz Yet my whole world has been shattered by the pitying glances of friends who think I had a deprived childhood because I've never seen Chitty Chitty Bang Bang!!!!


So help me out here,

Is there a famoous film that you haven't seen?

Mr Fashionista hasn't seen The Sound Of Music!!!!

Bless him, he must have had it hard as a kid

:-)


Let me know.


Big Fashionista x x
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Tuesday, 19 April 2011

Mid-mummy crisis

If it doesn't exist, it bloody should do.

Men can have a mid-life crisis, its official, I'm having a mid-mummy crisis.

Men can go out and buy porsches and wear ill-advised clothing and highlight their hair and everyone just nods wisely and says "Mid-life crisis" as if that's ok. A mid-life crisis is a get out of jail free card and I want IN.

I'm about to go out and buy a huge Toblerone and go a bit crazy myself.

SEE, even my idea of fun has changed!!!!!

My eldest child is ten, So for the last ten years I have been a slave to someone elses feelings, emotions and even their stomach.

I have forgotten what it is like to have a bath without ducks!!! Expensive bath oils and candles have been replaced with Matey bubble bath and a rather scary Dora head on the side of the bath.

I remember when going out didn't have to be planned with military precision. Now it is all about bedtimes, remembering suntan lotion and tissues (I NEVER carried a tissue before I had children) I had designer handbags that didn't hold Hello Kitty sunglasses, a toy car and some sparkly pink glitter (Ok that may be mine, I will never say)

I remember when a lunch out used to involve food other than nuggets, and a leisurely dessert wasn't a McFlurry.

Yeah I miss that.

I miss wine on a hot summer day, I miss naps on the weekend, (Although I'm pretty sure I didn't want one until I couldn't have one) I miss the ME that I was.

I was fun, now I feel bogged down in life, responsibilities and responsibility for others. The next time I'll get to be looked after is when i'm old and even that is doubtful (Thanks NHS)

It isn't that I don't love my children.

It is just that along the way I think I've forgotten how to love myself.

And THAT to me sounds like a mid-mummy crisis, (I'd go and highlight my hair but I don't have the time-sigh)


What do you think?

Shuld a mid-mummy crisis become a nationally recognised condition?


Let me know


Big Fashionista x x

PS I have been nominated in the MAD Awards. If you would like to nominate me please do so. I have made my peace with being an occasional Mummy Blogger :-)

http://www.the-mads.com/index.htm

Thank you x
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Wedding Daze

I may well end up in the tower for this but I am SO over the Royal Wedding it just isn't funny.

Press releases pop into my inbox daily. Everything from Nail varnish to condoms are now in some way connected to the Royal Wedding and I'm pretty sure that William and Kate must sit in their apartment of an evening wetting themselves over the amount of tat that people have put their name to.

And it seems as if the Media have turned into bridezillas themselves. The obsession over who is designing the dress, How much weight Kate (Catherine) has lost, Who is going to the wedding, Who has created a song for the wedding.

AAARRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


I DON'T CARE.

I don't. I have had my love and excitement for the Royal wedding sucked out of me by media hype and constant bombardment of branded products and TV shows designed to whip me into a frenzy of excitement but have just ended up jading me.

We live in a time when we require instant gratification. The TV on demand generation. We don't expect to wait for anything................ we want it NOW.

and because we can't have it now the media has to find ways to keep us interested. Like a babysitter with a small child it tried singing us songs, feeding us tidbits and now it is running around like a headless chicken throwing things at us like "50 Greatest TV Weddings" Desperate much?

(Although if William would have taken up my suggestion of applying to Four Weddings then I think we would have all been waiting just that little bit more patiently)

But come the actual day, I will be sitting in front of the TV with my Wills & Kate tissues in my Wills & Kate T-shirt, drinking champagne out of a Wills & Kate commemorative mug, (possibly in my Wills & Kate dressing gown)

And then wait for the media hype to start all over again when they announce the first pregnancy.

Because if you agree that THIS has been a long time coming,

THOSE nine months are going to be HELL.



What do you think?

Big Fashionista x x
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Monday, 18 April 2011

Unsocial Media

Since WHEN did Social Media turn into my mother?

Facebook wants to know what I'm thinking or whether I want to "check-in" (er, no) Twitter asks if I want to Tweet my location (er, no) Even my Blackberry wants to give my location out now. (hell no)

And don't even get me started on 4square or whatever it is.

I don't want people I KNOW to know where I am most of the time, why would I want to share my location with strangers.

If I checked right now I could find at least ten people I know and possibly thirty people I don't know.

How is that "social"

It is possibly the most anti-social thing i've ever heard of.

Especially the people checking into "BED" 

People, I really have no interest in your sleeping habits. I fail to see the attraction in checking into your own bedroom. and I definitely fail to see the attraction of sharing it with the world.

Unless you are checking into someones bed you shouldn't be. I DARE you to share that check in.

What's next? Facebook giving me a curfew and being "disappointed" in me if I don't get home in time? Or worse, remove my poking priviledges!!! (So not fair!! stamps foot)


We put far too much out there about ourselves on the internet without even realising, and now the internet wants to make ourselves available to stalkers and wierdos? (and my mother)

HELL NO.

I like my privacy (A lot) If I wanted you to know where I was, I would let you know. (Possibly by tapping you on the shoulder and saying BOO)

What do you think, Is the internet helping us to invite stalkers into our homes or is it a natural progression of "Social Media"


Let me know


Big Fashionista x x
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Sunday, 17 April 2011

Nominate your local hero

Goodyear are looking for a hero (Cues up Bonnie Tyler, Holding out for a hero)

Take a look at the video, and find out how you can nominate a local hero and be in with a chance of the ride of your life (snort, giggle, snort)




(Leaves before it turns into an episode of Are You Being Served)
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Saturday, 16 April 2011

Friday, 15 April 2011

Clinique Chubby Sticks

I am a huge fan of lipsticks and lipglosses and I had been hearing for what seems like forever that Clinique were releasing a moisturing lipbalm that was meant to be phenomenal.

The lovely people at Clinique must have heard my feeble whimpers because a while ago I was sent a Chubby Stick to try out.

Now personally, I HATE reading reviews about products which make me NEEEEEEEED it but then at the bottom of the page I'm told it won't be released for another three months so I have held off with the review until now as these sticks have been released.

TODAY.

and if you have a Clinique counter near you I suggest you hotfoot it down there and get one today.

(I am really resisting the urge to add the term Chubby chaser into this review)

Perfect for spring and summer when you want just a hint of colour these sticks are extremely moisturising and will help keep your lips in tip top condition.



The Chubby stick in all its glory.





I was pleasantly surprised that it wasn't actually a wooden pencil and there is no need for sharpening as you just screw it up from the other end.



The obligitory hand swatch. As you can see it is quite a sheer colour and I have heard people say that it isn't a deep enough colour for them, but for me it is perfect. a great compromise between a lipstick and a lipgloss.


This is shade 01, Richer Raisin



Priced at £13.50 this is one of eight different fruity shades available.

You can choose from Graped up, Mega Melon, Whooping Watermelon, Berry Burst, Whole lotta Honey and Blackberry and currently they are 3 for 2 on the Boots website.


Personally I love these. they aren't sticky or tacky and give a sheer warm colour that is just right for those barely there days.


Go be a Chubby Chaser (Ha) and purchase your lipbalm from a Clinique counter near you from TODAY.


Big Fashionista x x
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Nom or Vom

I seem to have a thing for dark eyed mean with short hair or a shaved head so I thought I would take a different route today and bring you a blonde haired musclebound man from Australia.

Unfortunately he is a little shyer than last weeks Nom or Vom and I haven't been able to find a naked shot. However he has developed a great allergic reaction to shirts so topless shots ahoy.

Ladies and gentlemen.

Chris Hemsworth.

Typical Aussie soap boy pose (Home & Away in case you were wondering) 


 Oooooh very well cut but still a long way off the musclebound hunk he will become




I do like a dripping wet man who knows how to wield his weapon. Phnar Phnar.          






Taken from GQ, A man who you can dress up in a suit and he still looks good.




And yet somehow I'm still drawn to him looking like a dirty wrestler who could bodyslam you hard onto a bed. (Sorry, drifted off a bit there)


So a bit of a chameleon this week. If you do like what you see then check him out in Thor which is about to be released.


What do you think?


Nom or Vom
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Thursday, 14 April 2011

Daily "Hate" Mail

I like to think that in general I am a well-rounded individual (Mind AND body) but today I have been on a journey so dark and dangerous that I don't think my mind will ever truly recover.

Daily Mail Online.

A site filled with so much darkness, distrust and hate that I fully expected every byline to say Beezelbub.

If I listened to every word the site said I would end up a immigrant hating, fat hating, goverment hating (I suppose one out of three isn't bad) hater who hated everything INCLUDING myself.

The Daily Mail Online simply revels in tearing people apart for the sake of it,
For example one of todays EXTREMELY important articles is "How to wear denim and NOT look like Gwen Stefani"

Erm, the same Gwen Stefani you have been lauding as a fashion icon and usually take great delight in listing what she is wearing and where it is from?

Most of the DM Online seems designed to purely keep us in a confused state.

The starvation vacation, loving your curves, Christina Hendricks with a spoon in her mouth (Oh the mortification, she EATS!!!!! how DARE she) plus the taxpayers paying for gastric bypasses.

What am I meant to do?????????

Eat or starve myself? I may have to have a cake while I sit and THINK.

Although the Femail section seems to have been written in a way so that us women don't even have to do that.

Heaven forbid I should be distracted from planning the evening meal.

Unless i'm a stay-at-home mother, in which case surely I will just be getting the taxpayers to buy KFC surely.

The things that concern me according to Femail are

Hairstyles

Fashion for under a fiver

A father resenting his children

Cowgirl style being back in fashion

and Liz Jones being bothered by a knock at the door
(shame it wasn't men in white coats with a 72hr hold notice)

Sorry Daily Mail, as a female don't I want to know about Japan? The New York serial killer? Politics?

Of course not, I should just sit and read recipes and find the perfect jeans for my HUGE arse.

It's all about priorities isn't it.

And the Daily Mail online certainly helps me sort out mine.

and going back on their site is wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy down on that list.


Let me know what you think.


Big Fashionista x x
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Tissot Harrods window display

I wished I could have seen this and experienced it for myself. The Tissot augmented window display in Harrods certainly caused a stir recently when they showed shoppers how the watches could look on their wrists without even trying them on.



Take a look for yourselves.




 
 
Did anyone see this? Was it as fun as it looks?
 
I'm such a gadget lover that I probably would have stood there for hours playing with all the different styles.
 
You can also download the application at http://www.tissot.ch/reality  to try out the Tissot Touch collection yourself.
 
What do you think?
 
 
Big Fashionista
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Naked Ambitions

Bumps on display?

I blame Demi,

It's true, from the minute she flaunted her bump on the cover of Vanity Fair we were all doomed to spend eternity seeing baby bumps plastered across the covers of magazines in the eternal race to see who can get the most (ahem) exposure. From Britney to Claudia, and um... Lisa Scott-Lee, If you are up the duff and about to drop it seems like you HAVE to recreate the "Demi"

The latest celeb to get her kit off is Mariah Carey, Heavily pregnant with twins she has decided that it was "her ultimate goal to share this incredibly personal moment with her fans"

Can I get an "Eyebrow" from Mrs Hirons and a "Bitch please" from Bangs?

I don't want to see your bumps, boobs, bum or any particular part of your body on the cover of a magazine. I don't want to hear that you feel incredibly beautiful and radiant while carrying two babies in your womb. I felt like a worm who had swallowed a beachball when I was heavily pregnant. I could hardly walk without feeling ill, I personally don't want to share your incredibly personal moment.

If it WAS incredibly personal, surely you would hire a photographer, make them sign confidentiality forms so long that if they broke them they would have to give you their first born grandchild and then hang them on your own wall where you and only you could stare at them whenever you want.

THAT is what I call a highly personal moment.

If you really wanted to share a "highly personal moment" you should have taken photos of the conception. (Although that is a whole other target audience)


I'm looking forward to seeing the follow up pictures, two months after the birth..... Naked on the front cover again? With a highly artistic dribble of baby sick on one shoulder?

I can't see that happening can you?


Big Fashionista x
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Wednesday, 13 April 2011

Nicknames.

School days?

The best times of your life?

The worst?

Or a mixture of both?

Every drama is magnified in school isn't it? (I once sulked in my room for a whole weekend because of a spot on my chin. Oh hang, sorry that was last week) and small things that happen to us in our teen years stay with us throughout our school life and possibly beyond. From a stumble where you showed your underwear to admitting that you think a certain teacher is "fit" (I won't make that mistake again)

Everything you do and day will be held against you in a court of your peers

FOREVER.

Today I want to talk about nicknames,

We all had them in school, some meaner than others. Some a hell of a lot more intelligent than others.

May I draw your attention to the twin boys in my school who went through their whole academic life being called "twinny" BOTH of them. (You have to think that the person who dreamt that one up sadly never achieved their goal as a rocket scientist)


Mine was Brown Owl.

My surname was Brown, and................... nope, that's all it took (I wonder if just one person thinks all of these up?)

It could have been worse I suppose. and a lot were.

How about you?

What was your nickname in school? Get it out there and cleanse your soul of your school nickname once and for all.


Big Fashionista x x
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Birthday girl

Today is a special day, Today my baby turns five.

(Can I just point out I mean my daughter, not my blog)


It's bittersweet, I love that my smallest child is getting older, more independent and starting on her journey of life and self-discovery, but I miss my baby. I miss ALL of my babies. That time before they start to back chat and argue that they know more than I ever will, before they lose their homework and decide that they are going to school in a sun dress in January,

Yes I miss that.

When your baby looks at you with trusting eyes and you know that their whole world revolves around you and only you and nestle into your arms, falling asleep safe in the knowledge you will never let them go.

There is no greater feeling in the world.

Scarlett wasn't meant to be here.

I had my eldest two children close together, I mean REALLY close together, less than a year apart and I swore that I didn't want any more children. I suffered from really bad post-natal depression which made me feel as though I didn't want to be here. Honestly, I can hardly remember when my two eldest were babies. I remember tears, lots and lots of sadness and tears. (mostly mine) It was a hard struggle but with the help of family, friends and medication I got through it.

But I knew I didn't want any more children. I didn't want to revisit the dark, dark place that I had been in before. I felt that I had only just escaped with my sanity and life the first time. I had two beautiful children and I felt like I needed to give them my whole attention.

No more babies for me.

Until a few years later when after a routine smear test I had to have laser treatment on my cervix for pre-cancerous cells.

I was lucky, because I had had regular smear tests the problem was caught before it caused any serious damage but in passing the doctor mentioned that it MAY cause problems with any future pregnancies and that was it, more than anything I wanted a baby.

And once I got the all clear, there was nothing to stop us.


After having two pregnancies which had resulted in August babies, the thought of being heavily pregnant in the Spring certainly had its appeal. (Heavily pregnant in August is NOT fun-trust me)

An easy pregnancy, a labout that lasted two days and the tiniest (6lb 4oz) cutest baby ever was here and changed the Hill family forever.




So Happy Birthday Scarlett, I am sad there are no more baby moments, but there will be more moments and experiences that we can share as a family.

My baby is growing up and that's ok.........................................................


I think

Let me get back to you on that. (after cake perhaps) 


Big Fashionista x x x
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Tuesday, 12 April 2011

Paloma Faith & Converse

If like me you appreciate the crazy wild world of Paloma Faith then take a look at this video.

A collaboration between Paloma Faith, Graham Coxon and Bill Ryder-Jones it "takes you on a ride through the world of desire"


I've now watched it four times and I have fallen a little bit more in love with Paloma each time. Her style is unique and her voice is A-mazing.

Also if you go to www.converse.co.uk/desire you can put yourself in the video too.

Goes off to look for a fabulous hat and a pair of red Converse for my video debut with Paloma.

Enjoy, and let me know whether you are a fan of Paloma too.








Big Fashionista x x
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Sureslim diet update

You know what this week needs?



Yep, that makes things a whole lot better.

After a very long, miserable week I have managed to stay the same weight.

Which considering I have run around like a headless chicken, not making time for proper meals I suppose I am going to have to take as a plus.

I still feel as if I need to get my head back in the game properly. I'm still craving food that goes straight to my hips (and bum and legs and arms) and yes occasionally I am giving into that temptation but overall I am definitely in a better place than I was two weeks ago.

The HUGE problem I have is that half term has crept up on me like a mugger in an alley way and as of wednesday I have three children at home for approximately 3 and a half weeks working my last nerve (I love them, I love them, I love them, I love them) This is a time when I usually turn to food, it never answers back, wanders off or threaten to leave home (promises promises)

Food is a comfort to me once more, and I hate being a slave to it. I got to the stage where food was just fuel to me and I would love to get that back again.

So I stayed the same this week, it isn't a gain and I feel like I have learnt another lesson,


I'm just not sure what it is yet.



How are you getting on?



Big Fashionista
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Jedward + Cocopops. A match made in heaven or hell?

So Jedward are the new face of Cocopops are they?

Apart from wanting to Snap, Crackle and Pop their actual faces I am finding it extremely hard to make a connection here. (Yes I know that is Rice Krispies but it's the same company isn't it?tell me it is!)

Why on earth would a cereal company decide that two hyperactive Irish boys would make great spokespeople for the brand?

Were they perhaps cheaper than The Wanted?

I know Jedward are currently promoting everything but their music at the moment (Thank the Lord for small mercies) But there has to be a better fit for Jedward than chocolately cereal.

Let me see if I can help out Liam McKenna, Jedwards road manager with some better suggestions (although he has yet to take me up on the suggestion of a tranquiliser gun and two darts)

Firstly,


Canesten

Gets rid of all irritations does it? I can really see Jedward working this one. (Working it all over themselves hopefully)

Domestos

Kills all known germs dead does it? (Anyone else imagining Jedward being flushed down a toilet right about now or just me)

Go Compare

Currently THE most annoying advert on TV and possibly of all time. What could make this advert even more annoying? Giving the opera guy the old Spanish Archer (El-bow) and replacing him with Jedward!!! Annoyance overload.


Anusol

For pains in the arse?

(Far too easy)


So what other brand do you think would be a perfect fit for Jedward?

Let me know


Big Fashionista x x
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Monday, 11 April 2011

Label me at your peril

What am I?

(Actually don't even think of answering that!!!!)

Because I don't even know, and frankly, I quite like it that way.

It's that time of year again where there are Blog Awards and nominations doing the rounds and it's the time of year where I like to hide away because I don't actually want to be "labelled"


I'm just going to put this out there and do with it what you will.

The thought of me being labelled a "Mummy blogger" fills me with such nausea I think I may actually have thrown up a bit in my mouth.

Yes, I am a mother AND I am a blogger, but a mummy blogger? Nope that label isn't for me thanks.

I spend enough time being labelled as Georgias' mum, Morgans mum, Scarletts mum, Even Brennans partner, or Lindas daughter in other parts of my life that sometimes I forget that I am my own person in my own right.

I don't want to be defined by my children in EVERYTHING I do!!!!

and I DON'T want to be put neatly into a box or fit cleanly into one area.

Where is the fun in that?

Am I the only one who is slightly insulted by the term mummy blogger?

Defined by our ability to make babies and then write about them? It just seems to me to be another way of reminding people that they are a mum and should know their place.

(Kitchen luv, get in the kitchen)


I read a lot of blogs by women who write about their children and I enjoy them in the same way as I enjoy make-up blogs or fashion blogs but I really don't see the need to categorise them as Mummy Bloggers.


Don't even get me started on the term mumprenuer.

Oh you've done it now.

Why oh why oh why would or should anyone be described as a mumprenuer!!

You never hear the term Dadprenuer do you? Then you are just a Entrepreneur.

Is it that mumprenuers want an extra pat on the back because they are also raising children as well as a business OR are they once again being categorised by someone else to remind them not to get above themselves?

Some questions for you.

If you are a mother or a father that blogs how do YOU feel about being categorised as a mummy or daddy blogger?

Do YOU call yourselves that, or do you find you have just been categorised that way?



Same for mumprenuer, Would you ever describe yourself as one?

Or does the thought of it make you feel as though it is belittling everything you do?

Let me know


Big Fashionista x x
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Rock on down to Boux Avenue

Last Friday I was invited down to attend the opening of Boux Avenue at Lakeside shopping centre in Thurrock.



Over the previous week Theo Paphitis had been travelling around the country opening his new lingerie stores to huge crowds and this store was the last one to be opened. (Leaving the best to last perhaps)


To rapturous applause Theo announced his store open and the people of Lakeside got their first glimpse of their newest lingerie store.






The store has a beautiful Art Deco feel about it and in some parts of the store it feels as though you are in a Hollywood starlets walk-wardrobe.

Luxurious fabrics, soft carpets and clean lines that make you feel as if you want to spoil yourself without spending too much money.





Because that is the great thing about Boux Avenue. You walk in and feel as if you are in a designer lingerie store but without the designer prices.  I found prices to be well within what I would pay out for lingerie not only in their day to day range but for something a little special too.


The staff all looked fantastic too, they were a range of ages, sizes, all dressed in a beautiful classic dress but with their own individual twist.

 Ladies at the till.

Staff member in the dressing room




Any member of staff who cares enough to wear Irregular Choice heels to work can sell me Lingerie ANY DAY. I had to take a picture of her footwear. I was seriously impressed.

The dressing rooms are designed to make you feel comfortable in your selections. Where else have you been that has three different settings of lighting that you can set to see how you would look outside of a changing room? (I may have to set my whole house to this type of lighting style)


You have a choice of Day, Night and Dusk. as well as a direct link to the desk in front of the changing rooms to request a different size or style brought to you.

The changing rooms remind me of a hotel, soft carpeting, each room with adifferent name. Boux Avenue have certainly made the lingerie buying experience a taste of luxury.



After browsing and looking at all the pretty lingerie and accessories including bath oils, notebooks and mirrors I finally got to sit down with the man himself Theo Paphitis to ask him the questions I had been wondering all the time I had been looking around the store.


"Why in this current climate would ANYONE let alone a Dragon who spends his time telling people this is not a good investment in a recession choose to open a chain of lingerie stores NOW?"


Thankfully he is a charming man who explained to me that this is the PERFECT time to do it, rents are low, in fact shopping centres are being very welcoming to companies wanting to set up shop, He also pointed out that while other shops and chains haven't been updating their look he has come in with brand new stores that look fresh, exciting and new. He doesn't expect to make money for the first couple of years out of Boux Avenue but he knows that he will make his mark and Boux Avenue will be around for a very long time indeed. His staff are as excited as he is to be starting out together and he is looking to continue opening stores and expanding.

When Theo spoke you could feel the passion he has for Boux Avenue and this isn't just something he has invested in and will be sitting on the sidelines. You can see the pride in what he has achieved and rightly so.

He has created a fantastic brand that will known for its luxury and comfort as well as its excellent pricing. As Theo pointed out. "Women shouldn't have to buy their underwear with their frozen food, it should be an experience all of it's own"


Theo I totally agree, and with Boux Avenue you have definitely created an environment to do that.


Boux Avenue, you ROCK!!!!





And for letting me have my picture taken twice because I looked "fat" in the first one, Theo you rock too.


Go check out Boux Avenue, they have stores in Glasgow, Cardiff, Lakeside, Bluewater, Trafford Centre, and Meadowhall in Sheffield.  You can also shop online at http://www.bouxavenue.com/


Have you been to a Boux Avenue yet?

What do you think?


Big Fashionista x x
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Saturday, 9 April 2011

Slip, Slop, SLAP

There are a few thing guaranteed to put me in a homicidal rage, (Greggs closing early, The thought of Puck leaving Glee, Chelsea throwing away the premiership, again) but NOTHING makes me see red more than seeing red.


Sunburn.

I HATE it.



Why do people do it? There is absolutely NOTHING as unattractive and downright dangerous than sunburn!!

Bright red skin that is sore to the touch? No thanks. Why would anyone choose to literally cook themselves to death that way.

I'm not saying a bit of sunshine isn't good for you. The amazing Caroline Hirons says a bit of sunshine is good for you and her word is LAW. Read her post on the subject ------------> HERE


But for the love of all things crispy DO NOT BURN.

SPF isn't an accessory, it is a must.

More and more people are dying each year of skin cancer in the UK than ever before.

You know that big flamey hot planet in the sky? It isn't going anywhere. It also does not require the ritual sacrifice of your skin each year to make it come back!!! People fling off their clothes at the first sight of it, The Sun is the Iglesias of the sky. (You know, Enrique, Julio? Keep up people i'm on a tight schedule here)  


It is April, not August, yes it is unseasonally warm but we have a whole summer ahead of us. Pace yourself people. and stop offering up your shoulders to the Goddess of the Sun to touch you with her burning rays of love. 

And for the love of fricking god, if you know what is good for you put suncream on your children.




GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

If YOU get sunburn, I will laugh in your face, lecture you on skin cancer and show you my deep scar on my back where I had to have a mole removed as they thought it was skin cancer. If I see your child with sunburn, chances are I'm calling Social Services................. Because that my friend is child abuse, If you can't be arsed to protect your child in the sun then you deserve all I can rain down upon you.

I've heard every excuse under the sun.

"They went in the pool"

Waterproof suntan lotion, or reapply the stuff, it isn't on rations you know.


"It wore off"

Reapply then, Seriously? Are you rationing the stuff?


"They don't like having it applied"

Then they don't go out, simple. Anyway who is the parent here?


"They don't burn so no need to apply it"

Oh Puh-lease, it is not just the damage you are doing NOW that counts, it is what happens in the future. Skin cancer doesn't care who it affects and it is not discriminate about how age. Skin cancer is a ticking time bomb that may not go off today, or even tomorrow, but it will do.

(And I do know what I am talking about. I have THREE children and not one has ever had sunburn-I practice what I preach)


Children need us as adults to explain WHY they need to wear suntan lotion to protect them from the rays as well as apply it to them, and if we can't do that for our children then we need to take a long hard look at ourselves in the mirror.


I don't know about you but I find that the men I know are so much worse about wearing sun tan lotion, They treat sunburn like a badge of honour!!!




Twat.

End of.

So seeing as this weekend is meant to be a beautiful one, why not make sure you have some sun protection to hand........ and face...........and shoulders........... and back.




What do you think?

Am I being too harsh or should more people be warned about the dangers of sunburn?


Let me know


Big Fashionista x x
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Friday, 8 April 2011

Nom or Vom

I only have ONE rule for Nom or Vom.

That rule is if I search for their name + naked and nothing comes up. They are out.

(i'm tough like that)

When I searched for this weeks Nom or Vom nothing came up at all and I was all set to drop him like a stone until the lovely Louise from Get_Lippie jumped in to save the day with these pics.

Quite frankly I gave up looking for more pictures after this.

So Ladies and Gentlemen


Sam Rockwell


oooooooh we do like a bare chest here at Nom or Vom, go on honey, take it off


WARNING, People with heart problems, or a nervous disposition go NO further!!!!!!!!!!





Double Warning, if you are shocked by this, the next one is gonna finish you off













ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo la la














Phew,  would anyone like another picture so you can recognise him with his clothes ON?



It just isn't the same is it?                                                  












and just in case that doesn't rock your world, for the first time ever I have included a Youtube video because nothing is as hot as a man with rhythm!!!!!!


Enjoy.




So what do we think everyone? Nom or Vom?




Big Fashionista x x


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Thursday, 7 April 2011

Daniel Sandler tutorials

The lovely Daniel Sandler not only has incredible make up skills but he must have some serious psychic abilities and know exactly what I need at this moment,  as in conjunction with No7 he has just released two make up tutorials for glasses wearers,


There is a day time look,







as well as a night time look,




The tutorials are perfect for increasing the confidence and skills for glasses wearers such as myself and are part of a upcoming Spring campaign from Boots which includes the offer of TWO complete pairs of glasses for just £79.


Go take a look at what the lovely Mr Sandler has to show you. You won't regret it. I'm off to learn some new tips and tricks.


Big Fashionista x x
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Devil food

As a mother of three I am used to my children looking at certain foods suspiciously as if there is a chance it may poison them (I'm a terrible cook, they are right to be worried) but as adults we are expected to be less fussy and enjoy what is put in front of us.

We are the ones telling children,

"Eat your greens, they are good for you"

"Crusts will make your hair curly"

"Carrots will help you see in the dark"

We are a bunch of hypocrites really aren't we?

Because if we dislike a certain food we avoid it like the plague, we give it evil status in our minds and banish it to the bowels of hell never to be consumed again.


For me it is Parsnips. What is with Parsnips? They are just anemic carrots that got lucky-Yuk (I wouldn't put one of them in my mouth even if you told me it was Paul Rudds c..................... Ok, I'll leave that one there)

For my friend it is brussel sprouts, she says that cabbages should never be that small!!!! (it's very lucky that she is pretty)

The distrust we attach to food that we don't like is our way of justifying why we don't eat it.

We need to set up an adult version of the things we tell children to make them eat the food they don't like.

"Eat your parsnips, they will make you a size 8"

"If you eat up all your brussels your skin won't wrinkle"

"Finish all your cheese and your teeth will whiten"

It COULD work.


What food do you hate?

And WHY do you hate it?



Let me know


Big Fashionista x x
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Wednesday, 6 April 2011

Whistle as you work

I have to admit something to you all.

Some of you may not understand what I am about to say, some of you may nod and agree with me even though you are too afraid to come out and agree with me publicly.

And some of you (hopefully) will come right out and say you like it too.


I like being whistled at by builders.


(Although rarely do I ever see a builder like this)


There, I admitted it. (There should be a support group or something) There is something quite fabulous about walking past a building site and getting whistled at.


AND there is nothing quite as crushing as walking past a building site and NOT being whistled at. (I have been known to cross over and walk past again)

It is confidence building. I don't want them yelling out to me or trying to talk to me. (In fact don't even try to make eye contact) but a whistle speaks a thousand words.

and makes me feel a million dollars.


How about you?


Let me know


Big Fashionista x x
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Tuesday, 5 April 2011

SureslimUK diet update

First week PROPERLY back on the diet and I am back in the game.

I lost 2lb which, while I wasn't overly impressed with as a total but I am going to take as the loss it is.

BUT what I am pleased with is my ability to get through the week.

This is the first week in a while where I haven't given up halfway through and made an excuse why I SHOULD eat that cake/takeaway/chocolate/pastry.

It is also THAT time of the month in a day or two and I have to say I am an emotional wreck this week, I feel fat, spotty, miserable and generally depressed. In a month or two when I have been dieting for a while I know that I wont't get all these symptoms and I will practically be rollerskating in the park (Insert rolling eyes smiley here) but this month I am suffering hard.

Which makes my 2lb loss a little bit better as I know I am retaining water like a camel in the Sahara.

I am also playing the long game again and thinking about my weight loss over a period of time. 2lb a week means that in a month I will have lost 8lb and be back where I was before. I could lose weight faster, but slow and steady wins the race. I'm happy with 2lb each week.

I think :-)


So how have you all done this week?


Let me know x x


Big Fashionista x x
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Stamp of disapproval

So Royal Mail are putting up the price of a first class stamp to 46p with a second class stamp rising to 36p as of yesterday.

Well I'm sorry Royal Mail but the only way I'm going to swallow this is if you are using the additional funds to make improvements to your uniforms to reflect the new charges.

Like this perhaps?


I think it would be apt, don't you?

Let me get this right, I now have to pay you 46p for the privilege of losing my mail? or having it delivered 4 days later than it is needed?

Younger people laugh at you and steer you to seat if you tell them that once upon a time we used to have two deliveries a day.

Anyone remember getting birthday cards clattering onto the mat at about 8am on the ACTUAL day of your birthday?

Nowadays you are lucky to get your mail in the AM at all. (and even then sometimes it is sliced open or "damaged")

My post is usually delivered at around 1 o'clock in the afternoon, IF I am lucky. My afternoon post never used to be that late!!!!

And now they want to charge me MORE for it!


Ridiculous. They have closed all the post offices near me, cut back on staff and added more work to the staff for less money, they are losing money hand over fist and we are being asked to bail them out with an increased charge for a poor service.

It is like the banks only sneakier.

I get my junk mail earlier than my post. and it is usually more interesting.

(Quick question, Why does the Royal Mail never lose my bills?)

I think from now on I'm going to give my post to the people who stuff envelopes through my door all day, chances are they are going that way, they might as well stuff a letter through the door for me while they are at it.

It's either that or plan B,

And I don't know where to buy a carrier pigeon these days.



What do you think about the rise in the cost of a stamp?


Let me know.


Big Fashionista x x
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Monday, 4 April 2011

Dear Charlie,

Oh Charlie, Charlie, Charlie, Charlie. (Shakes head sorrowfully)

Dude, you are probably laying on your bed at the moment, surrounded by hookers, cash and enough class A to pull a visit on her Majesty's pleasure wondering where it all went wrong. (Or not)



So the reviews for your first night show Charlie Sheen Live: My Violent Torpedo of Truth/Defeat Is Not An Option were lets face it, less than favourable. People walked out and demanded compensation. (It must've reminded you of your ex wives)

(Although what were people expecting with a rambling title like that, You should've stuck to Charlie Sheen, Live and Unhinged. Saves on the expectations and build up)

Your (second) wife has gone, your children are gone, quite frankly you are starting to sound like a Country and Western record. (Do you have a dog? Dude tie it up quick)

Don't worry Charlie, You are the embodiment of The Emperors New Clothes, People will be attending your next performance saying how funny you are, how intellectually stimulating and modern your performance is in a post modernistic ironic way. (I have no idea what I just wrote there) People are going to basically blow smoke up your arse and tell you how amazing you are.


EDIT:

Yep it happened, Chicago LOVED Charlie Sheen.
See? Emperors New Clothes syndrome.  

Charlie, you have 3,427,046 Twitter followers, How many of them do you think are hanging on your every word #winning #Tigerblood and how many of them are waiting for you to self destruct in a spectacular way.

And you bet your arse that when you do self destruct, Millions of people will say what an amazing comedic actor you were, one of the best of our generation. Gone but never forgotten, so sad.

And maybe, I think you are ok with that.


And THAT is the saddest part of all.



Big Fashionista


What do you think? Is Charlie Sheen heading for self destruct or is he just doing his own thing and #winning?

Let me know.
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