Saturday, 22 December 2012

You are not alone this Christmas.


Christmas.

A time for joy, family and happiness.

Sadly, not everyone experiences this at christmas and for some, this time can be a dark and lonely time or a time when emotions such as depression can be heightened.


You may be one of those people. You may have come across this blog post by chance, or someone may have forwarded it to you to read.

Consider it fate.

I don't want you to feel alone this Christmas.

I don't want you to feel depressed or lonely.

If you feel that you have hit rock bottom and you feel empty inside, If you can see the lights twinkling in other peoples windows, hear the laughter of your neighbours and yet you experience no joy, as if the world is a dark place in which you see no place for yourself any more.

Or if you feel that you are ready to make a change.

I want you to pick up the phone......................


MIND
www.mind.org.uk

0300 123 3393

Samaritans
www.samaritans.org

08457 90 90 90

Alcoholics Anonymous
www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk/newcomers

0845 769 7555

Stonewall
www.stonewall.org.uk

Info line 08000 50 20 20


London Lesbian and Gay Switchboard

0207 837 7324

SANELine

www.sane.org.uk
0845 767 8000

Preventing young suicide
www.papyrus-uk.org


For people in Northern Ireland
www.lifeline.info

0808 808 8000


Childline
www.childline.org.uk

0800 1111

Depressionalliance
www.depressionalliance.org

Refuge
www.refuge.org.uk

0808 2000 247

Eating Disorders Association
www.edauk.com

0845 634 1414

Shelter
www.shelter.org.uk
0808 800 4444


No Panic
www.no-panic.co.uk

0808 808 0545

Cruse Bereavement Care

www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk

If you need someone, please call one of these numbers. You are NOT alone over Christmas, there are people out there that care, I care.


I wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.


Love Always

Kellie (Big Fashionista)
SHARE:

Friday, 7 December 2012

Nom or Vom?



So this Saturday heralds the end of The X Factor.

For some of you, this is sad news. For others, it is the greatest news you've heard since finding out Gordon the Gopher will not be arrested as part of Operation Yewtree.


I'm a huge fan of The X Factor, and I am also a huge fan of guys in glasses. So this weeks Nom or Vom could ONLY be one person.

Ladies and Gents, I bring you


James Arthur.



















So what do we think?


James Arthur? Nom or Vom?



Let me know


Big Fashionista x x x


SHARE:

Wednesday, 5 December 2012

Blog Rulez




So after Company magazine has released their "Blogger edition" today, it seems that a lot of bloggers are up in arms over the "Shitblogz.com" part of the mag.

And I'm not even going into them playing it safe, with the same bloggers that pop up everywhere, I'm sure they are lovely but there are a LOT of fresh voices out there that could also be heard.

So here for those that care, are MY blog RULEZ.


Firstly, be young. That is like TOTES important right? I don't care how you do it, but NO-ONE likes to look at wrinkles. It is what Instagram filters were invented for, if you are over 22. USE them. Capiche?


Secondly, bloggers, know your role in the world, stick to light fluffy pieces about fashion, pose prettily and hush your mouth. You know it makes sense. Play nicely bloggers and maybe we will throw a sparkly badge your way.


Check you are female. Coz male bloggers are nasty, and quite frankly, you smell.


Don't get above your station. You want to be Queen of the blogging world? How arrogant are you? Wanting to make your teeny online diary better? No sparkly badge for you.


Dress to impress. Because the only blogs that count are fashion ones, oh and make-up ones when we can't make the numbers. Oh and if you think you may be ugly. blog about shoes or something. no-one wants to see your face.


You want to EARN MONEY out of your blog?????? ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Oh bless you, you're pretty.


Follow my rulez and one day, just for one day maybe. you can write for a magazine for free.

Lucky you.




Big Fashionista



Any more rules you would like to add?


Let me know
SHARE:

Tuesday, 4 December 2012

Dear Jeremy Kyle.




Dear Jeremy Kyle,


I think that I may need to bring my family onto your show.


Since my sister met her husband, things have changed.


Before my sister got married she worked, (a little) but now she just lives off state handouts, she doesn't pay rent, and I have never seen her in the same clothes twice!!  (Dodgy or what?) Her husband is ok. but he disappears quite a bit and no-one seems to know where he is exactly. He says he is going "on a mission" and we all know what that means Jeremy, don't we? Don't we?



Her new family are a bit strange to say the least Jeremy, I think they would make great daytime TV. The grandad is one of those old geezers that just says what he thinks and hang the consequences, in fact the whole family is dysfunctional. (There's even a step-mother, cliche or what?) 

The reason that I am coming to you now Jeremy, is that my sister is now pregnant.

Now obviously there is no doubt of parentage, (unless the baby comes out ginger. That would be AWKWARD) but I am just really worried about them all.

What kind of future will that baby have?

AND what will happen to me now Jeremy???????? Especially if it's a girl???????

I will no longer be the most watched female in the world will I?

(Although I suppose I could get a book deal out of it, all about being a fabulous auntie couldn't I?)


Much love. I look forward to your call, we can discuss my best side.





Pippa Middleton x x x



SHARE:

Monday, 3 December 2012

I'm dreaming of a red christmas.



Right, It is now officially the countdown to christmas, I will finally 'low the Xmas talk. (Check me out, all down wiv da kidz. In a non-Saville like way, OBVZ)


But being the slightly twisted individual that I am, christmas is not christmas until I have sat down on the sofa with a glass of mulled wine, a mince pie and watched my favourite christmas film. The film that for me, always marks the start of the holiday season and generally gives me a warm fuzzy feeling inside.

SAW


Now while you guys are practically masturbating over Elf, I am licking my lips in anticipation of watching Jigsaw tear apart people who have been naughty all year round. He is SORT OF like Santa really isn't he? (Except, Santa leaves behind a sack, Jigsaw just leaves behind one sac....... if you are lucky)


It is a bit christmassy isn't it? Red is the predominant colour of the film, (and green is the colour of most people watching it for the first time)


For me, Saw means it is beginning to look a lot like christmas. (And sets me up nicely for christmas shopping. Take THAT queue jumper.)


But what non-christmassy things make you feel all christmassy inside?


Or am I just very, very strange?


Let me know.


Big Fashionista x x


SHARE:

Friday, 30 November 2012

Nom or Vom


Whether you are watching I'm A Celebrity, or not, you can't help but have noticed David Haye is everywhere at the moment.

It is always interesting to see the person behind the hype, and David Haye has certainly shown more of his character in the jungle than a lot of people have.

So whether he is King of the Jungle or not, this weeks Nom or Vom is


Mr David Haye
















So what do you think?

David Haye?


Nom or Vom?


Let me know


Big Fashionista x x
SHARE:

Thursday, 29 November 2012

Cold out isn't it?



YES, it IS cold.


This is the deal people. Saturday heralds the start of a new month, known as December. December is notorious for Christmas, (my birthday) and being slap BANG in the centre of a little something I like to call, WINTER.

I am in shock, that you are in shock, that it is cold outside at the moment.

If only you could Instagram a temperature I am sure that my feed would be full of pictures of COLD at the moment. (If you could instagram a cold kitten then I would be grateful. Ta)

I don't really get to talk to many people on a daily basis (Just the way I like it) but the people I do pass on the street seem to have an opening line at the moment that is making my teeth itch.

"Cold enough for ya?"


"Why no, actually it isn't. I much prefer my temperatures arctic thanks"

It is the first thing out of everyones mouth lately. I now know how cab drivers feel when they pick up a new fare.

"Busy night driver?"

"What time do you finish?"

(Next time you get in the cab, listen to yourself. You WILL ask those questions)


I'm thinking of answering peoples questions about the cold before they even ask them. I will wait until they open their mouth and just reply "Luckily, here in London our temperatures are a little warmer than anywhere else at the moment, imagine living in Scotland or somewhere like that"

Which will be a bugger if they were just going to ask me the time.


So everyone, YES, it is cold. YES, you need a coat. YES, I wish I was indoors too. And NO, I don't care who wins I'm A Celebrity.


Now on with your day people.


And wrap up warm,


It's cold outside.



Big Fashionista x x


SHARE:

Tuesday, 27 November 2012

Hibernation justification




So this week Britain has experienced serious flooding, and now we are being warned of freezing cold temperatures and snow (In December, I know. Shocking, who would have thought it?)

Anyone else think that now might be a good time to think about hibernation?

Now I'm all for making like a bear and sleeping the whole winter away, (especially this winter) in fact, looking at my BMI, I think I have been preparing my whole life for this exact moment. I've laid down the body fat, sorted out the perfect onesie (comfort is a must for hibernation) and even considered what sort of January snacks I might partake in. (Cakeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee)

I'm not even joking when I talk about hibernation as a serious lifestyle choice. It would certainly save on the heating bills. I would make a duvet cave and just snuggle up underneath it until about April (or May) I would definitely emerge thinner, I will have missed out on all the Christmas shopping stress, (I may just wake up on December 19th for my birthday if that's ok?) and I wouldn't get cold or soaked through.


If there is anything worse than feeling cold AND wet, then I am yet to find it. Hibernation would certain help with that. Warm, dry? If only hibernation was available on the NHS then I think we would end up a lot healthier. Look at the Spanish with their siestas, in my eyes, hibernation is just a longer version of a siesta.


So I'm up for a longer version of a disco nap, anyone care to join me?



Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz




Let me know.



Big Fashionista x x
SHARE:

Monday, 26 November 2012

Christmas Jumpers, Hell no, or Noel




So I stop blogging for ONE WEEK, I come back and what do I find (apart from new blog followers. Hello, welcome, sit down over there. No, not that seat, the other one. Thank you, this won't take a minute and then normal service will resume shortly.) I find that you all have embraced a new trend. (Well, I say embraced, some of you have this trend in a headlock from what I can see.)


CHRISTMAS JUMPERS!!!!!!!!!


In one week have you all lost your mind? (and sense of taste?)

Now yes, I admit, I am usually the first to say that everyone should be free to wear what they want and no-one should be judged for what they wear. Well I am REVOKING that rule from this day forward.

What are you all thinking? Please, someone needs to tell me whether
 this is something that I can blame Alexa Chung for, (coz that bird is on my shit list anyway, and I will gladly pin this one on her too, if I can.)

IF you are wearing your Christmas jumper ON Christmas day in a vaguely ironic way, then I am right behind you (Pointing and laughing, I grant you, but behind you ALL the way)

But may I point you towards my previous post, It is NOVEMBER, and you are walking around wearing a jumper with a Rudolph face on it and a comic pom pom nose?


Nuh-uh.


But when did this happen anyway? The last time I looked, Christmas jumpers were naff and like onesies only to be worn inside anyway. (Sidenote, if you can find a christmas onesie for me, I will be all over that like a RASH)


Now it seems Christmas jumpers are the this seasons Satchel!!!!



So tell me, Christmas Jumpers?


Naff or Not?


Are YOU purchasing a Christmas jumper or five? or are you not getting behind this trend at all?



Let me know.



Big Fashionista x x x
SHARE:

Saturday, 17 November 2012

British Gas, Safe & Secure review.





As always, I am fashionably late to the party. I have been reviewing the British Gas Safe & Secure system for just a little while now as unfortunately, we had a few “teething problems” to get through before I felt that I could really start reviewing the system properly.

 

Firstly I think this is a great system. I am enjoying the security that I now feel in my home either of a night, or when I am away and the system is armed. In my home I have three cats so we have gone for pet motion sensors and they actually work, (There is a strong possibility I may have tested this out a few times by throwing small pieces of ham down my kitchen from the front door to make the cats run past the sensors, I can neither confirm or deny this)

We went for self-installation of the Safe and Secure system and unfortunately we did find that the instructions were not quite as helpful as they could have been. Cue lots of scratching of heads and shrugging of shoulders before a couple of calls to the extremely helpful British Gas Customer Services team helped us to put it right. I am very much of the opinion that teething problems can and do happen to anyone, it is how they are dealt with that people remember and in this case British Gas were extremely efficient and quick to help out with any issues that were raised.

The Safe & Secure system I am trialling in my family home has made me feel very “techy” I am the sort of person that quivers when it comes to recording a tv programme I’ve never watched before because it is too difficult but lately I have been whipping out my app (not as rude as it sounds) and setting the alarm and switching off plug sockets at the touch of a button. Spock has NOTHING on me, nothing.



My initial opinion is that not only is this a seriously cool alarm system it is also a great way of keeping an eye on the comings and goings in my home. With a family who are always coming and going at different times of the day I think it is a great way to see, via the fob system and the app who is indoors at what time.

As a mother it will be a great way to make sure that my children are home at the time they were meant to be.

 

So far British Gas, I thank you.

 

My children? Not so much.

 

Stay tuned for another review coming soon.

Big Fashionista x x


*I am an official part of the British Gas Campaign*
SHARE:

Friday, 16 November 2012

Nom or Vom, sort of.




This is a difficult post to write.

Friday is always a highlight of the week for me. When I first started Nom or Vom, it was a bit of fun and I always enjoy the *cough* detailed research *cough* that goes into it.

BUT, after all the drama of the week (Oh don't tell me you missed it) it made me sit and have a hard think about what Nom or Vom actually is about.


In case you are new to my blog, each week I pick a hot celebrity and we decide whether he is Nom (hot) or Vom (not).

Does doing this, while arguing against being judged on your looks make me a hypocrite?

In my opinion, NO.

Personally, I think there is a huge difference between choosing someone for a internship based just on a picture and saying whether you think someone is good looking or not.

But I would be a fool not to think that some people may think otherwise, and I am always interested in hearing what readers of my blog think.

I KNOW there is a difference, and will be continuing on with Nom or Vom next week.

But I would like to hear your opinions on the matter.


So let me know.



Big Fashionista x x


Edited, for you wonderful lot.

Bring on the hot men






























Happy Friday x x x


Big Fashionista x x
SHARE:

Thursday, 15 November 2012

I'm In The Powder Room



There is no new post here from me today, however you can find me over at In The Powder Room ranting my head off about reality TV.

http://www.inthepowderroom.com/read/momsrock/2012-11-reality-tv-please-but-hold-the-reality.html


Go take a look, leave me a comment and let me know.


Big Fashionista x x



SHARE:

Wednesday, 14 November 2012

ASOS, Look Intern competition UPDATE



So over the last couple of days I have been inundated with support for my post about the ASOS, Look mag intern competition.

I can tell you this evening, I have finally had confirmation that the competition has been cancelled.


I am hoping that they will, in the future be holding this competition again but with better entry criteria.

If they do, I will fully support this competition. My issue was never with the internship, or the photo being PART of entry, my issue was with the competition being judged PURELY on a photograph.


And ASOS and Look magazine have listened.


I'd like to say a HUGE thank you to everyone who got involved, commented, retweeted, wrote about it themselves and helped make our voices heard.

We CAN make a difference.

Especially when we all stand up together for something we believe in.


So thanks again.

I'm off to burn that onesie.




Big Fashionista x x x
SHARE:

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas?





Meredith Wilson is probably spinning in his grave. I'm pretty sure that when he wrote "It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas" he didn't expect us all to start singing it in mid-October.


It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas is it Meredith? Sorry mate, but if you were alive today you would have been going beserk through the aisles of Asda by Halloween screaming, "Not yet you fuckers, not yet"

And if you were on Facebook you would certainly have unfriended a few people, let me tell you.

Not only does Christmas start earlier and earlier each year, I seem to be surrounded by people who can't wait to tell me about it.

I don't NEED a countdown to tell me how many days until Christmas it is. It is the same day every year, it never changes. Christmas isn't exactly going to sneak up on me in a ninja stealth attack is it? And if they did change the date one year, just to mix it up a little? Well I am sure that social media would tell me, one way or the other.


And why does Christmas start so early these days anyway? It is the equivalent of sex with a man unable to orgasm. At first, it's fun, you get into it, you enjoy the build up, you think that you will be able to keep up the same level of enthusiasm all the way through it, but then after a while it JUST GETS BORING.

(Thinks twice about putting a joke in here about emptying Santas sack)


Christmas for me starts in December, if you want to get your presents before then? I'm not going to stop you, but refrain from letting me know about it, I beg you. Or I will deliver them for you to a place only your doctor should see. (and you may need to rewrap them)



What do you think?


Anyone else feel that Christmas starts too soon these days?

Or do you enjoy a good build up and can maintain the momentum for a long time yet?



Let me know.



Big Fashionista x x




SHARE:

Tuesday, 13 November 2012

Vodka Christmas Cake recipe



This is not mine but was so brilliant, I had to share it. It was a status on Facebook so if anyone knows the original source, please let me know and I will credit.




I've had a lot of requests for this recipe once again, please feel free to bookmark this page as it does get quite trying typing it out each year.


Vodka Christmas cake,

You will need;

1 cup of sugar
1tsp baking powder
1 cup of water
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
nuts
1 bottle of good quality vodka
2 cups of dried fruit

Sample a cup of vodka to check it is good quality.

Take one large bowl, check the vodka again to be absolutely sure of the quality then repeat. Turn on the electric mixer thingy. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar, beat again. At this point it may be wise to check the vodka is still at its best, Try it once more, because you are a thorough chef of Nigella standards. Turn off the mixer thingy. Break 2 eegs and add to the bowl  and chuck in a cup of dried fruit. Pick up the fruit off the floor, wash it and then then add it to the bowl a piece at a time, trying to count it. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit getasa stuck in the beterars, just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the vodka to test for tonsisticity. Next, sift 2 cups of salt, or something. Check on the vodka. Now shit, shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. whatever you can find. greash the oven. turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Dont forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window. Finish the vodka, and wipe the counter with the cat.




SHARE:

Not suitable for children?





I'm easily pleased, (No, honestly, I am) stick my on the sofa and put on a childrens film and I can quite happily sit for hours watching it. (whether there are children around or not)

You should've seen my little face light up when I watched the trailer for Despicable Me 2. It was a picture of happiness. (Yes, it is in my Youtube favourites, and what of it?)

The problem is, childrens films are really NOT for children are they?

Now I know that a LOT of the plot usually goes straight over the heads of the little cherubins, but I'm starting to think that it is these fluffy-wuffy kiddy films that are making our children grow up too fast and learn too much too soon.

Here are some life lessons you can draw from childrens films.




You love someone, and then they DIE, leaving you alone and sad - UP

Rabbits are EVIL, EVIL bastards - Watership Down (Side note, this film STILL terrifies me so much that I cannot watch it. Even the voices, Oh GOD, the strangely hypnotic bunny voices. Sits in the corner and rocks back and forth)

Your toys come alive when you aren't looking, and sometimes try to kill each other - Toy Story 1, 2 and 3. (Also my 6yr old now has a mortal fear of lava ever since watching Toy Story 3 as well)

When you leave your parents side, bad things happen - Finding Nemo


Step-parents are BAD - Pretty much every Disney film ever.



Even in my beloved Despicable Me, the hero Gru, LIED to adopt three children to help him break into the home of his nemesis.


ARE THESE THE SORT OF FILMS WE WANT OUR CHILDREN TO WATCH?


or basically, what I am asking is, Is it ok to go alone to Despicable Me 2 next summer?




What do you think?


Can you think of any childrens films that have traumatised you, while your child sits oblivious, loving every minute?


Or a film that traumatised you as a child?


Let me know.


Big Fashionista x x


SHARE:

Sunday, 11 November 2012

Look Magazine and ASOS internship competition.




Congratulations Look Magazine and Asos Fashion Finder, congratulations indeed for setting women back a couple of hundred years once again.


Today, I received an email from ASOS Fashion Finder, heralding the start of a new competition with Look Magazine to WIN an internship................


Now firstly, shall we address the winning the chance to work for free issue?

For SOME people, this will be the only way that they can get an opportunity to work on a magazine such as Look. (If you don't appear in Made In Chelsea, they seem to be a bit thin on the ground lately) I HATE these competitions with a vengeance, but I understand why some people enter them, I really do.


So, there is a chance to "win" an internship is there?


"What do I need to do" I hear you ask? Demonstrate your tea and coffee making abilities? Write a 5000 word dissertation on the future of fashion and magazines? Put together a Pinterest board of what fashion icon inspires you and why?


NOPE.


All you have to do to be in with a chance of winning this prize is upload a picture of yourself.


A picture?


Seriously? Look Magazine and ASOS. You are doing that to us? Now some people will say that it is all about style and how you put an outfit together.


Errrmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Because as an intern you will be fully responsible for all of the fashion pages won't you?


I DON'T think so.


If Look Magazine are looking for an intern, why not make it less about how you look, and more about what you have to offer? I know many people who would chew their arm off for this opportunity. People who want to get their foot on the ladder in a career that is notoriously difficult to get into.


So shame on Look Magazine and ASOS. SHAME ON THEM.

So what did I do?

Well I entered didn't I?

http://fashionfinder.asos.com/competitions/look-magazine-competition-62




As you can see, the onesie truly shows off my experience, my qualifications and my years of blogging, and of course I have co-ordinated it with a satchel, coz that is TOTES fashionable and just screams unpaid intern to me.


What do you think?


Should Look Magazine and ASOS Fashion Finder have made their search for an intern all about how they look?


Do I truly rock the piggy onesie?


Will you be voting for me?



Let me know.



Big Fashionista x x

UPDATE:

I have been speaking to the lovely Justin from ASOS this afternoon, and at first, I was hopeful that they would be up for changing the competition and at the very least adding an element where people could explain WHY they wanted to work for Look Magazine, (you know, use their brains instead of just their looks) BUT, ASOS have told me that unfortunately their Terms & Conditions mean that they cannot change the rules at this late stage.



BOOOOOOOOOOO

Justin assures me that the pictures will be judged purely on HOW the entrants put together an outfit and interpret A/W '12 fashion.


I say it is STILL a beauty pageant and frankly I am REALLY disappointed.


How about YOU?

Let me know.

Big Fashionista x x
SHARE:

Helen Rochfort, Cute bag alert


This week I went along to a press day for Eskimo PR, and in amongst drooling over some gorgeous shoes and light spring knitwear I spied what is going to be either the hottest Christmas present for grown ups this year or become a staple part of the bloggers wardrobe.

I am a HUGE fan of Helen Rochfort bags and the brand in general, but the bag that is going to be hitting the website TOMMORROW is absolutely gorgeous.



According to Helen, the bag will be on the site Monday so get in there fast as it is definitely going to be a BIG seller and it is Limited Edition so HURRY!

Plus it's only £29!!!!

You can order yours on http://www.helenrochfort.com


What do you think? Is it not the most gorgeous bag ever?


Let me know what you think and if you are going to be ordering one.

I think I will be.


Big Fashionista x x



SHARE:

Friday, 9 November 2012

Nom or Vom




Todays Nom or Vom is a new one on me (I haven't a CLUE who he is!!)

Apparently an actor, although I will have to take your word for it. this guy was suggested by Kerry from www.loulousluxuries.etsy.com

So without further ado,

this weeks Nom or Vom,

Jared Padalecki



















So what do we think?


Jared Padalecki?


Nom or Vom?


Let me know.



Big Fashionista x x

SHARE:

Thursday, 8 November 2012

You know you're a blogger when...........




Now before you get your top knots in a tizz, be aware that I am taking the piss (slightly)


There are quite a lot of us around now, (bloggers are breeding like Nadya Suleman) and like a zebra has its stripes, bloggers have developed a uniform and style so that we can recognise each other in the wild (Top Shop, Oxford St)


So just for you guys, just in case you don't realise,


You know you're a blogger when,


You constantly have your iPhone out, ready to instagram the shit out of the weather.
(If I see one more picture of rain, I'm going to dig out an old picture of the summer and start messing with peoples heads)


You have ombre'd hair.
(Oh stop looking so shocked, you know it's true. If  you also wear it in a top knot, then you are a walking, talking cliche. Deal with it)


Every conversation you ever have, is possible blog fodder.
(You start talking to friends about names for penises and a little lightbulb goes off in your head.............. This might just be me, but I doubt it)


You talk about people you have never met before as if they are your BFFs
(You always use their blog names though, as you can't remember their real names)


You go nowhere without a camera
(Those OOTD pictures aren't going to take themselves you know)


You tweet and blog about things, before you have even told your family
(Guilty, so sue me)


You look down at your wrist and check the time on your Micheal Kors Rose Gold watch
(See disclaimer about taking the piss)


Your dinner goes cold because you have to find the right filter on instagram
(X-Pro II, you're welcome)


You carry a satchel.
(You have to have somewhere to carry that camera, iPhone and iPad don't you?)



Are there any that I have missed?


For example,

You know you are a beauty blogger when....

 you own more lipsticks than pairs of knickers.



Let me know.



Big Fashionista x x x


SHARE:

Monday, 5 November 2012

Cock and Ball



I'm a bit of a fan of "Erotic" fiction. In fact, you may, or may not know that I used to write for Scarlet magazine, back in the day. (Dig out your old copies from under the bed, check me out)

But there is one thing that really grinds my gears about erotic fiction of any type and that is the word, MEMBER!

Member?!?!?!


Really?

And not only do they use the word member, they then pre-fix it with a word like THROBBING, or pulsating.


Ewwwwwwww. Instant turn-off. I don't care how hot your plot is, if you use the word member in your fiction, there is fuck all erotic about it. (Are you listening Ms James?)

But it got me thinking.... (Yes, I said thinking)

Exactly how many words can we come up with that are BETTER than member?


We have the run of the mill,

Cock

Willy


We have the slightly more "out there",

One-eyed trouser snake

Python (as in, I'm off to drain the..)


But can you come up with any more?


And feel free to add any pre-fixes you wish, that are NOT throbbing, or pulsating.


What ya got?



Let me know
(Wonders if I am going to regret this one)



Big Fashionista x x







SHARE:

Back and blogging up a storm




Well I am back, I had a weeks holiday and now here we are.


Usually I would start Monday with a round up of the previous week, but seeing as I have been stuck in a tin box on wheels in deepest darkest Great Yarmouth without so much as a phone signal, the only round up I can give you of the week is that my bones are still cold and my feet may never completely dry out again. (and I may also be developing webbed feet)


Enough of a round up for you?


Have I missed anything exciting while I was gone? Any controversy in the world of blogging, or are we still "blogging for ourselves" Talking about,  "Follow links are bad" and fighting amongst ourselves over trivial matters? Yes? Ok, as you were people, the bloggosphere is as it was.


What else? Hmmmmmmmmm, I have some blog posts coming up for you this week, some may be funny, some may be ranty.

What do you prefer? Or what DON'T you like.

Let me know.


Also, don't forget that you can find me once a week over at www.inthepowderroom.com now. Ranting at its finest.  (and I can use the C word. Without so much as a raised eyebrow!!)



Ok, so I'm back, going nowhere and here to serve.



How's your week looking?



Let me know.



Big Fashionista x x
SHARE:

Thursday, 25 October 2012

An open letter to Superman.

Dear Superman, Clark, or whatever you call yourself these days,

I hear on the grapevine that you are considering jacking in your job and becoming a blogger, and I have a little advice for you.

Firstly, stop smoking the Kryptonite, seriously dude, lay off it a little, that shit has gone to your head. Now I don't know what is going on in that head of yours but these days? I don't think you are flying with the right licence.

Firstly, let's talk money. I assume you are being paid at The Daily Planet? You are? Well being a blogger is slightly different. As a blogger, you are expected to eat your "raised profile" sleep under "increased traffic" and wear "more followers"

Pretty cool huh? NOT

I can safely say that the world of blogging will not buy you more underpants to wear outside of your trousers when you get a hole in a pair. (Although a good PR might send you a pair every now and then, you don't mind wearing ladies underwear two sizes too small do you?)


Now I get that you have a USP, (that's Unique Selling Point) you are SUPERMAN for God's sake. I can see how the Bloggersphere will go crazy for you and your Instagram pictures from 20,000ft.

(Quick question, can you get your hair in a top knot? It's all about blending in)

And I can see how making it to 5 events in one day that are scattered all over London (and two in Manchester) wouldn't be a problem for you, what with your FLYING ability.


BUT Superman, honestly, this gig ain't easy, and if you think it is, it's only because us bloggers having been making it look that way.

Stick to your day job, I beg you.

Otherwise one day you will hear a cry for help and you won't be able to help them as you have three posts to write and a lot of pictures to edit.

Think about it, I beg you.

Big Fashionista x x



What do you think? Would Superman make a good blogger?

Or do you have any words of advice for him?


Let me know.

Big Fashionista x x


SHARE:

Wednesday, 24 October 2012

Taylors of Harrogate, Coffee heaven.




I only have a couple of vices, (that I admit to) and the main one has to be my love of coffee, I love coffee, drinking it, eating things flavoured with it and even the smell it.

So when Taylors of Harrogate asked if I would like to visit their factory I didn't have to think twice.

It was all I hoped it would be AND MORE.

Think how a chocoholic would love to visit  Willy Wonkas' Chocolate Factory?

Well the tour of Taylors of Harrogate was my equivalent.

We arrived at Taylors of Harrogate at lunchtime and firstly experienced some wonderful hospitality. If you want to make me happy, FEED ME, we sampled some of the wonderful food that they serve in their canteen (No wonder all the staff had smiles on their faces, it was delicious) as well as trying some of the famous Bettys cakes.

Next up for the twelve contented bloggers was a Coffee tasting masterclass ran by the very knowledgeable Emily

I have to admit I learnt a lot of new things, I am ashamed to say I never knew how coffee looked on trees or thought about how it is processed.

We tried the different single origin coffees first, coffee from different places all over the world and we were taught about the subtle differences in flavour.

Note to self, when you are given the choice of spitting or swallowing (the coffee) do NOT, I repeat, do not collapse into uncontrollable giggles which render you unable to look anywhere but at the ceiling. (And certainly not at Sally or Becky. Naughty ladies)

We then tasted different blends, the Hot Lava Java being my personal favourite.

Happily full of caffeine, our next stop was the factory floor, where we watched the coffee process from start to finish. We even got to wear hairnets and fabulous disposable long white coats. I have never been inside a factory before and found the whole visit insightful and not only that, a lot of FUN. (looking around the factory was like an episode of How It's Made)

Want to see some pictures of my day?









 


All in all a great visit to a great British company that has a well-earned superb reputation.

You can check out Taylors of Harrogate and all the different products the company has to offer here www.taylorsofharrogate.co.uk

I am now a huge fan, not only of their coffee, which I loved already, but the brand as a whole. A family-run company with a great product and staff that are quite rightly proud of themselves, from the lovely ladies on reception to the wonderful canteen staff who made us lunch, everyone was happy to go the extra mile and with a smile on their face at the same time.

If I ever move to Harrogate, I want to work at Taylors, (and drink the coffee non-stop)



So what do you think?

Are you Taylors of Harrogate fans?

What's your favourite blend?

and how hot do I look in a hairnet? :-D


Let me know x x


Big Fashionista x x

SHARE:

Monday, 22 October 2012

Monday Rant




I'm quite getting into this Monday ranting malarky, I quite like finding things that I can store up to then let ooze out of me on a Monday. It's like lancing a festering boil, it hurts a bit, but oh the relief as all the poison floods out. (A beautiful bit of imagery for you there on a Monday morning)


So let us begin.

Last Monday saw the return of Made In Chelsea and it really didn't disappoint. Unlike TOWIE where if you appear in other programmes you are dead to them forever, it seems that MIC have welcomed back Spencer Matthews with open arms. Well, I say open arms, what I really mean is that they have welcomed the chance to script him as a MASSIVE BELL-END.

When he stepped out of the car and uttered the words "Matthews, Spencer Matthews" was there a single woman in the country watching who DIDN'T have damp knickers?
(Through pissing themselves laughing that is)

He's a twat, she's a twat, they're all TWATS.
(What time is on tonight again?)



Megan Fox has given birth to a baby boy I hear. It would be wrong of me to hope that she is now covered head to toe in stretchmarks and she finds it impossible to lose the baby weight. WOULDN'T IT? (Jessica Simpson took one for the team, Come on Megan, don't let me down) I just really cannot stand the celebs and film stars who appear 3 weeks later in their skinny jeans, I still wasn't even DRESSED three weeks after giving birth!! The Victoria Beckhams and Abigail Clancys of the world give normal women a bad name, I want Megan Fox papped eating biscuits, wearing crumpled clothes with sick down them, yelling, 'I AM SO FUCKING TIRED'.

DO it for womenkind Megan, do it for us all.



Also this week, the odious toad of an oxygen thief Nick Griffin tweeted out the address of a gay couple that had won a court case recently against the couple who refused to allow them to share a bed in their B&B.

Nick Griffin is a cunt, pure and simple. Now I know that some of you are offended by that word and for that I apologise, but Nick Griffin offends me far more than you could ever be by a simple word. How that much bigotry, racism and hatred can be shoved into one tiny little man is beyond me. The man must just fart hatred, and yet I still cannot find a single ounce of pity for him. I hope he drowns in his own bile and chokes on his hatred one day.




Also on my TV last week, there was a programme called My Tattoo Addiction. (Channel 4 obviously) This could have been a FANTASTIC documentary, I think it is really easy to get addicted to ink, I have 3 of my own (so far) but instead, Channel 4 decided to concentrate on the stupid muppets who get Aya Napa 2012 tattoo'd on their arse! and wankers covering girls names with scorpions on their FACE!!!! TYPICAL CHANNEL 4. What did they do? Ring a bell? Bring me your weirdos, your
freaks and your Miley Cyrus STALKERS!!!!!!

What a WASTED OPPORTUNITY Channel 4. WASTED (A bit like most of the participants actually)



and lastly, one of the biggest laughs I got this week was the Gangnam Style parody, "Eton Style"

Have you seen it? I watched it, I laughed, I watched it again, I laughed again, I watched it................ with dawning horror that one of those toffs doing the Gangnam style dance will probably one day be our Prime Minister.

Makes you pray the Mayans are right doesn't it?


So what do you think?

Is Spencer Matthews the next Daniel Craig? (Or is he more Craig David?)

Channel 4, Did you watch the Tattoo programme? Share with me your thoughts.

Is there anything that I missed this week you would like to have a rant about?


Let me know


Big Fashionista x x x
SHARE:

Friday, 19 October 2012

Nom or Vom




This weeks Nom or Vom was another suggestion via Twitter and the reason that I do like this guy is that he is certainly looking better with age and a bit of grey around the temples (Just because there's snow on the roof and all that)

So without further ado,


Ladies & Gents

Timothy Olyphant


















So what do we think?


Timothy Olyphant?


Nom or Vom?



Let me know



Big Fashionista x x
SHARE:

Thursday, 18 October 2012

Mutually Beneficial, A Bloggers Rant



"Mutually beneficial"


As a blogger I am SICK and TIRED (See, capitals. That's how sick and tired of it I am) of being used as free advertising.

If you blog, you know what I mean, How many of you have had drop into your inbox lately, an "Exciting Opportunity" only to read on to find out it is essentially an advert for the company involved, with no benefit to you whatsoever?

Oh I tell a lie, because the latest way to try to draw bloggers in, is to offer us the CHANCE to win something. Whoop-de-do.

Oh FABULOUS, so while the company involved is getting lots of links and traffic back to their site, the bloggers involved get?

Oh thats right, NOTHING. (Nada, zip, zilch, not a sausage)

How is that mutually beneficial?

And I am seeing this happening more and more lately, if I don't get at least one of these competition style blog post requests in a day, I think my email has broken.

Now I understand that some people find them fun, some people see them as content.
But it isn't for ME. I personally find them insulting. If you want a sponsored post on my blog, ask me my rates, don't wrap it up in a pretty bow and call it a present. (Although, I do like presents)

Because I get nothing out of it, and the company involved gets everything. Now I am not being a diva here (Stop rolling your eyes) but my blog is my baby, I have worked HARD to get it where it is today, and I'm not going to spoil that so that companies can get a free advert on my blog.

If a company gets something out of it, why shouldn't I get something out of it?


Mutually beneficial, are they such nasty words?

Let me know.




Big Fashionista x x x


SHARE:

Monday, 15 October 2012

Weekly Rant round up




So last week this was quite popular, so let's do it all again.


My weekly round up of news and rants


Jimmy Saville,

Now this is a difficult one. Firstly, it makes me so angry that there are people coming out of the woodwork to say that were aware of what Jimmy Saville was doing. How on earth could people just stand by and have done nothing? And then have the audacity to put their faces out there NOW and admit this? If I had let children and young people down like that, the LAST thing I would be doing now is dancing on the front of newspapers wringing my hands to alleviate my own guilt. Sorry Esther, (I'm really not) I am looking at you here.

And secondly, people are saying, oh he is dead, let it lie. He can't defend himself. Well the victims are not dead, and they couldn't defend themselves either. My sympathy is with them. MR Saville can look after himself.



Wayne & Colleen Rooney.

Wayne and Colleen have announced that they are pregnant with their second child. My instant reaction was, SHE HAS SLEPT WITH HIM TWICE?

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?


Madonna,


You know we all have that crazy relative that is a total embarrassment?

Spare a thought for Lourdes, SHE has Madonna for a mother.

Last week Madonna decided to remove her clothes and dedicate a song to Malala  Yousafzai, the 14 year old girl shot down by the Taliban.

Some fan could argue (and probably will. It has been a while since I received death threats from Madonna fans) that at least it drew attention to the girls plight and highlighted her situation.

Couldn't she have just lit a fucking candle or something?


The Kardashians

So the Kardashians are going to be releasing a collection, oh I'm sorry, I mean a Kollection for Dorothy Perkins very soon. Now I have enough issues with the Kardashians existing without having to put up with them changing letters in our alphabet. Do you know how tempted I was to write Kunts here?
(Whoops, I think I just did)



One Direction

X Factor losers One Direction have this week made chart history in America by scoring the fastest-selling track by a non US artist EVER.

Congratulations boys,

Fancy staying there? Please?

Thanks.



Anything I missed this week?

Want to have a little rant? Or disagree with something I have written here?


Let me know



Big Fashionista x x
SHARE:

Friday, 12 October 2012

Nom or Vom



I'm always happy to take requests (apart from that suggestion you made via Email, I really don't do that.... anymore)

and when someone requested this guy this week, I thought, Hmmmmmmm, Let's take a look at what he has to offer.

Firstly, I have learnt he doesn't like to wear clothes. (I know, I can sense your disappointment)

Secondly, I have learnt that he doesn't really do anything for me.

Soz.


But for you guys, hopefully he may be just what you are looking for.

So this weeks Nom or Vom is...............................


Adam Garcia
























So what do we think?


Adam Garcia, Nom or Vom



Let me know
SHARE:
© Big Fashionista | All rights reserved.
Blogger Template Created by pipdig