Monday, 6 February 2012

Sick note

Last week I spoke about trying to cancel Monday (It didn't work, the bitch came back)

This week I've decided to try something different.

Whether you got snow or not this weekend, chances are you REALLY don't want to be de-duveting yourself and dragging your sorry backside into work today, so just for you and for one time only, I'm going to write you a note.


Just print it off, add in the names and then send it to your boss,

and enjoy your day off

You're welcome.





Dear....................................................... (< Add your bosses name here)


Unfortunately .................................................... (Add your name here, must I do EVERYTHING here)  will not be able to attend work today. Let's face it, You don't want to be there, so the chances of any of your staff jumping for joy at the thought of slaving away for you are about as high as Russell Brands standards right now. (That's not very high in case you were wondering)

There are many, many things working against you, the first being that it IS Monday, (Have you thought about creating a 3 day weekend?) The second being that it IS work.

And unfortunately, some combinations are just not ones that can work long-term (Back to Russell Brand again)


So you can either change the policy on allowing your staff to wear onesies in the office, (Personally I think this should be obligitory on Mondays anyway) or just face the fact that ................................................. (Seriously? It's your name, put it in dude) won't be in work today.

Sorry and all that.


Big Fashionista x x



Let me know how you get on with that, I am (for a small fee) also available to CALL your boss and explain that either A) your explosive diarrhea has gotten so bad over the weekend that you cannot possibly attend work without a supply of adult sized nappies and a couple of bottles of Febreze or B) if your boss is male I explain how your period is so b.............. (that's all he needed to hear) (Although this does only work if you are female-DUH)

(Kelly Rowland, you should have called me gurl, I would've been able to REP-RE-SENT)

Enjoy your Monday x x x


Big Fashionista x x x
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10 comments

  1. LOVE this! If I was a manager/ in charge, this letter would make my day!

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  2. love it! so funny...too chicken to try it though!

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  3. haha, I got a snow day as my sons school is closed, therefore I couldn't go to work, but don't actually know if my work was open since no bugger would answer the phone!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I don't need a sick note for work as I have the day off today, any chance I could have a sick note to get me out of shopping and housework though please or shall I just ring in 'dead' :) Jude xx @jadlgw

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm a stay at home mum. The only day I get off is being dead

      Delete
  5. God I know who I'm emailing next time I have to call the kids school. Yes I own up to sometimes allowing them the day off cos I cannot be arsed to walk up hill in the rain. Only twice though...

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  6. I remember I once went to an interview for a job where they did duvet days as a perk - you literally rang up that morning and said you weren't going in. Sigh.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Did you get the job?
      I'd kill you and hide your body for a job like that :-)

      Delete
  7. Oooh...can we use this for ANY day of the week? If so, do you have Paypal?!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hilarious!! I've just found your blog, very entertaining read. I'm self employed, this note wouldn't work for me booo :(

    Tara x

    www.shelovesoutfits.co.uk

    ReplyDelete

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