Saturday, 17 March 2012

The crying game

Over this last week I have learnt many valuable lessons.

But the most important thing I have learnt is..............................


Damn, I cry ugly.

Ever seen those women crying in the movies? Where the one tear trickles slowly down her cheek, her eyes mist delicately, brightening her eyes so that they sparkle?

I can only WISH I cried like that,

Or a better idea would be Sinead O'Connor in Nothing Compares 2 U. If I could cry like that I would possibly never stop, I would cry EVERYWHERE.


But alas, for me, it isn't an option. My eyes go so red I look like the mutant offspring of Nosferatu and a tomato, my nose usually decides to take a walk around my face so that it just covers everything and also matches the colour of my eyes. (Colour co-ordination dahhhhling)

Fluid leaks from almost every orifice in my face, (I have yet to cry from my ears. This saddens me a little as it could turn the whole thing into a party trick) and I snivel. Ooooooooooh how I snivel.

Sinead would be so disappointed in me.

Have I mentioned the blotches? I haven't? I blotch up everywhere, It looks like I am mutating slowly into a Friesian cow (A freaky red Friesian, it's very moooooooooo-ving )

I also lose the ability to speak!! Not a bad thing I grant you, but still, Sinead could sing beautifully while crying, I however cannot articulate my own name, let along sing about how long it's been since you took your love away (ooh ooohhhhhh ooooh ooohhhhhhhhhh)

I actually look SO bad when I cry that if I caught sight of myself in the mirror while crying....................................... I would probably cry.


How about you?


Are you a Sinead? Beautifully serene

or more like me, a weeping wailing mess when you cry?

Any tips for me (Apart from to woman up a bit? )

Let me know


Big Fashionista x x
SHARE:

20 comments

  1. I don't think anyone can cry like Sinead in the real world. We are all more blubbers really. I turn into a blotchy whaling mess of a woman. xx

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is exactly how I cry. But it's the amount of snot that distresses me the most! I seem to be able to produce my own body weight in snot within seconds and even hours after the tears I am still sniffing and red. It's shameful. Also, if I feel like crying I can not stop it, no matter where I am or who I am with, if the tear start there is no stopping them....

    That said I do like a good cry!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I've only ever cried serenely once and that was because I was to terrified to do anything else. Tears pouring down my cheeks and not a red nose or sniffle in sight. Attack me with a rottie I can do it again otherwise im a red faced swollen eyed snotty mess

    ReplyDelete
  4. When I cry, which is quite often as I cry at everthing, I end up looking like a squashed tomatoe with added snot. Not attractive at all and it takes ages for the look to go away after I finish crying.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Since I spend my life crying at the moment, luckily for me its not too bad. I get minor snot but otherwise look fine..... until the morning when BAM - bull frog eyes, oh yes!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Seems that will be the case. I need to man up but break ups are hard!

      Delete
  6. I'm a VERY bad cryer too. It's not a good look, and also takes about two hours before my face goes back to normal. Which isn't good news on the couple of occasions when I've had to go and have a cry in the toilets at work - there's just no disguising it when I come back in!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Sorry you've had such a horrible week.
    I am a hideous crier too. My eyes go red and shrink. To compensate my nose swells and it is just too much snot. Yuck.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I'm an ok crier but get me sobbing or full scale bawling and it's full on blotchtastic - and then I get even more cross! Sinead had just lost her mother during that vid - personally I would be a soppy blotchy mess.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Ugly as sin me. Blotchy, make up smeared, snivelling, incoherent mess. So hideous it makes anyone who happens to be there want to slap me. The one and only time I have cried nicely was the day I got married, happy crying can be pretty. Sad crying is a whole other ball game.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Oh I would cry everywhere if I looked as Sinead does too! I sadly relate to your description only too well, a blotchy, hyperventilating and very red cryer. The worst bit is the hour+ it takes for me skin to go back to normal colour :(

    ReplyDelete
  11. I am a messy crier too. I need a box of kleenex handy, and it should be a full box otherwise hubby's shirt is a mess. Eyes go red, face also goes blotchy probably because I am a redhead.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I I haven't cried since about 1993 when that heartless bitch Sarah Windsor dumped me. I refused to ever cry again. Instead I pull a face like I'm having a shite and go a bit red and grunt. Much better see?

    ReplyDelete
  13. I too am a blotchy crier. It's not pretty. I'm also a secret crier, I hate crying in front of people. Is anybody else like that? Oh and I shudder a lot too. You know when you're nearly finished crying but your breathing is quite back to normal and you do a big shuddery breath? I do that a lot!

    ReplyDelete
  14. yep, blotchy, wailing, hiccups, snot, the lot. The only redeeming feature is the Cath Kidston tissues, covers me face y'see! Don't do it too often, don't wanna frighten the local children!

    ReplyDelete
  15. I have 2 types of cry.

    1 is pretty crying which is reserved for when boyfriends piss me off. Normally rolling tears whilst I pout and look all upset.

    2 is genuine crying where my mose swells to rudolph proportions and i snot all over the place. Unfortunately crying type 1 normally ends up as crying type 2. My boyfriends have all been really shitty. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  16. NOSE! not mose. ugh my spelling!

    ReplyDelete
  17. I can do the old one tear and sparkle trick but it does come with a bit of an upside down smug grin. Generally no wailing or redness (sometimes in the eyes... ...the redness not the wailing) and I have had plenty of reason to practice over the last few months, life can be a bitch but gradually good is coming back although I do still have the odd bad day. I have no idea what caused your tears (other then the Ken Barlow fiasco) but good does generally find its way home. :)

    ReplyDelete

Due to increased spam comments I am now having to moderate the comments I receive. I will do my best to get them approved quickly so please, carry on commenting as every time you comment a kitten smiles.

© Big Fashionista | All rights reserved.
Blogger Template Created by pipdig