Wednesday, 14 March 2012

The danger in our kitchen

Scientists today are warning that there is a danger out there. A danger so dangerous that not to warn us, would be........... dangerous.

(It's very dangerous)

Are you sitting down so that you can be informed of the danger?
(As you can tell, I am possibly not going to be taking this all that seriously)

Red meat can be dangerous.

(Did you make the sound effect? you have to, go back and read it again and make the noise. Immediately)

My immediate thought was that the scientists had obviously seen the way I cook red meat.

My second thought was,

Is this a crafty ploy by women to try to put men off celebrating the fact that today is Steak & a blow job day. (I'm not kidding, apparently it is. Do we know if Clintons are stocking cards?)

My third thought was.

Who the hell cares?

Let's face it, everything is going to kill us eventually, everything is bad for us, and scientists are becoming a big bunch of killjoys who seem to not want us to enjoy anything other than nuts and seeds (Nut allergy? Really? sigh)

In my time on this earth I have seen everything be bad for me. Sugar, Eggs, chocolate, vegetables, in fact I'm sure red meat has been bad for us before, then was ok, and now it has fallen out of favour again.

I think somewhere there are a group of scientists sitting in a laboratory somewhere just rolling a homemade dice occasionally, one with food groups on it and the other one with "bad" and "Good" on it.

Where the dice falls, that is the press release they put out that week. It is all a game of scientist yahtzee.

And people are falling for it.

Although they are partly right, Red Meat CAN kill.

If any man slaps a piece of steak in front of me today and reminds me that it is "Steak and a Blow Job" day I am sure I can find at least TEN ways to kill him with that piece of steak, and at least four of the ways won't even leave a mark on his cold, dead corpse

Anyone care to try it?

I thought not.

Any opinions on the rising threat of red meat?

Or know whether Clintons are stocking cards?

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x


  1. Well, I ate a thick, rare rump steak for my tea last night. Then I had a big mug of coffee and a fag!
    So...I'll die happy!

  2. Steak and blow job day? Really? Will they be covering this on BBC News or Radio 4 at any point? If not I am going to get off scot free on both counts as OH never goes on line, in fact I might just tell him its "smoked salmon sandwich and foot rub" day instead.

  3. have just found your blog and this post is HILARIOUS - LOVE IT! Yay, this is my kinda blog!

    1. Ahhh thank you. This blog consists of pretty much what is in my head each day.

      Thanks for commenting, I love it when people comment

  4. Ditto your sentiments on this one! The list of 'Things That Will Kill Us' seems to change on a daily basis. I remember a few years ago reading that apples were going to kill us all off.

    Personally, I'm of the mindset that I'll eat what I want whether it's bad for me or not.

    Would I rather eat lettuce leaves for 120-years or live into my 80's and enjoy chocolate, tea, red meat and wine? Hmm... reaching your 80's is having a good innings, isn't it?

    1. Bastard apples!!! I've always worried about those. Especially the red ones. Did you see what they did to snow white?

  5. Clintons aren't stocking cards (I phoned and asked, they hung up on me, rude if ya ask me)

    Red meat can't be bad for me, I love red meat if I had my way I would have it daily. Lentils however ARE bad for me, the entire household and probably the environment (methane, lots of, bad times).

    How come it's steak and blow job day, what about us ladies? Well, huh? I mean c'mon when will it will be steak and foot rub, 3 hour massage, do all the housework day , well when is it? I demand it, I want that day, yes yes I do.

    I also think I may be ever so slightly over caffeinated, again probably bad for me, I'll try and care. I'll fail though


    1. How about a Coffee and Cunnilingus day?

      I'd sign up for that

  6. Oh I am SO up for that, I will tell hubby it's that tomorrow and the day after and the day after that as well.... :D

  7. Totally agree! Too much of ANYTHING is bad for us, whether it's meat, sugar, caffiene, fruit. These "scientists" need to realise that we're not all idiots and understand what to put in our mouths!


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