Tuesday, 6 March 2012

A heart of stone, and head and body.

It's that age old story. Woman goes abroad, Woman falls in love with statue...........................

What? You haven't heard this one?

It was reported in the Metro yesterday (Under the weird section, thank god it wasn't the Daily Mail, it would make front page I'm sure) that Amanda Whittaker 27, from Leeds has fallen in love with The Statue of Liberty.

Now I am ALL for romance but even I am finding this one a bit of a stretch.

Apparently she has an illness (resists the urge to say No shit) and her exes also include a drum kit.

(Is it me or is this stuff just going to write itself)

She confesses to thinking of The Statue of Liberty as her long distance lover, has visited her four times to caress and kiss her and calls her Libby.

Now while I resist the urge to mock this woman (badly, I may add) I have to wonder if she is actually onto something here.

Let's face it, she is always going to know where to find her lover, (although I bet it still doesn't pick up the phone) It is never going to leave dirty underwear around, and certainly won't steal all of the covers.

But it also brings up the age old problem of can you love more than one statue at a time? (Obviously a common problem) What happens if she goes to Brazil and falls in love with Christ The Redeemer? I mean he is one good looking man isn't he? Holding out his arms for a hug like that? What woman in the world suffering from Objectum Sexuality (see, it has a name and everything) could resist?

I could see Jeremy Kyle getting involved in this storyline quite easily.
It could be the first ever episode without a DNA test................... erm, hopefully. Girlfriend try explaining THAT one to anyone other than Maury Povich!!!
"I am 100000% sure that The Statue of Liberty IS the father"  Falls to ground in shock when the results are read out.

Now I'm ALL for falling in LUST with inanimate objects that do stuff for you..........


WHAT? I meant like a oven or a car!!!! (What did you think I meant, pervs :-D )

But erm, falling in love with a statue?

Move over Romeo & Juliet there is a new doomed couple in town......

Well at least this woman can honestly say her partner has a heart of stone.

I'm sure she finds them a real rock.


Okayyyyyyyyyy

Mocking amnesty over.


So what do we think?

Crazy or practical?

And one does have to wonder what the Cardinal would make of this union?


Let me know what you think?

No telling me what inanimate objects you have fallen for
(Oh go on, if you must)



Big Fashionista x x
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19 comments

  1. It's when they start loving you back that the problems really start.....

    Maybe she should branch out into hill carvings. The Cerne Abbas Giant would be a good one to start with.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Is that the one with the big.............

      Delete
  2. Aw, bless you! You know what this is like...

    "It's my 'friend'...she has a problem, she's fallen in love with someone unsuitable, what can I do...I mean, how can I help her?"

    You're letting everyone know, slowly and carefully: yes, there are others like me in the world - it's practical! How can there be any harm in it? You all understand, surely you do? You won't judge me?!

    Girlie, we understand. We know what's happened. Tallulah didn't come home alone that time she went out on the town, did she? She brought home that Top Man mannequin, Dave is it? And now you're in love...

    Don't worry...you can keep your secret safe, well, share it with the 800+ subscribers to your blog. ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What can I say, youve guessed my secret.
      My live for Tallulah is strong!!!

      And yet we will never marry as I know the bitch will look better in a wedding dress than me

      Delete
    2. But you need to understand, Top Man Dave is the one for Tallulah. She regretted what happened between you (I know something DID happen, those sleazy photos weren't just posed), and and I know you've fallen for her now, but she was vulnerable and confused. It's Dave who she really wants.

      He might have left her lying in the gutter that night, but he couldn't help it - he's just a torso on a stand, not even any limbs.

      He may not be as classy as an Abercrombie & Fitch mannequin, but you've got to remember Tallulah's humble Bon Marche begginings.

      You've got to let your feelings for her go, or it'll end in tears.

      Mark my words.

      Delete
    3. I can't even think about it

      Don't make me

      Delete
  3. There was a documentary about this a few years ago. One of them was in love with the Eiffel Tower and at the end of the programme she, er, consummated the relationship.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. HOW?!?!?!


      Actually don't answer that!!!

      Delete
  4. I saw something about this on the TV a while back. There was a woman who was in love with a door, who had previously been in love with a fence. Very odd. But heck, they can't argue with you and they aren't going to stalk you when you split up with them! I bet they suck at remembering birthdays, though.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And if they leave you you don't get in trouble for sticking them in a wood chipper

      Delete
  5. Wtf? Weird very weird, someone buy the poor woman a rabbit, not the furry sort either! Then at least she'll be getting something out of that relationship!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Definitely agree with that.

      And if it annoys you, you can just take the batteries out

      Delete
  6. Ok this is weird.com; but lets be honest it may be the way to go if you wanna know where you/they stand.. so to speak xx

    ReplyDelete
  7. Wow, makes me seem almost sane

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Solemn face

      Does it?

      Does it really?

      ;-)

      Delete
  8. http://www.huliq.com/10020/australian-woman-marries-herself

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/2074301/Woman-with-objects-fetish-marries-Eiffel-Tower.html

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/5972632/Woman-getting-married-to-fairground-ride.html

    ReplyDelete
  9. I could marry myself. I'm the only person who would never let me down

    ReplyDelete

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