Monday, 19 March 2012

Let's study some form

Last week was a huge week for horse racing. Now I must admit, I only ever bet on the horses three times a year.

The Grand National

The Derby

and the Cheltenham Gold Cup

But this year, I have learnt something new.

And today, I am passing on this knowledge on to you (the urge to add grasshopper is strong......... grasshopper)

Apparently, (and no-one told me this before) studying the form in horse racing is not the art of picking a horse because it has a pretty name, or it has the name of a family member in it.

I know, I was as shocked as you.

So Diamond Harry (my dads name was Harry) was probably not a wise bet for the Cheltenham Gold Cup. (Ok, it definitely wasn't, I think it is still running) stupid horse.

The same goes for a horse with your football teams name, the name of your first dog or the name of your ex best friends, cousins, second girlfriend that he fingered in the park that one time. (Um, too much?) None of these flashes of recognition are going to make your horse any faster and be a dead cert in the 2.40. Sorry about that.

Another small tip I have picked up is that you don't pick a horse because you like the colours the jockey is wearing. Yes that orange top is SO trans-seasonal, bang on trend, (Sorry? it isn't orange, it's clementine? Oh my bad) and YES it does clash, (I mean compliment) that green (Ok, ok, peppermint) but the jockeys taste for spring trends does not automatically make it a winner.

Although Vogue called, they wanna put you on the cover baby. (Silk is IN)


The last piece of advice that I can offer you grasshopper, and I must admit that I am very very guilty of this.

The white horse is not the pretty pony of your childhood dreams and you shouldn't stick all your cash on it in the certainty that it will at some point in the race sprout wings like a Pegasus and romp home with furlongs to spare. (ooooh furlongs, check me out being all John McCririck like) and no if you squint really hard that isn't a horn you can see. It is not a secret unicorn so no sticking an extra fiver on it. (unless that part is just me, in which case, as you were)

The only problem I have now is that the Grand National and The Derby are fast approaching and I have NO WAY of picking the winner.

So share with me YOUR tips.

What is your way of studying form? How do you pick yours?

Let me know.............. um, please, Grand National fast approaching and all that and so far I'm going with Shakalakaboomboom (Don't ask)

Big Fashionista x x


  1. Umm, by white horse I think your mean grey...grasshopper. Great post as ever. The important thing to say about Cheltenham is that it has an uphill finish... makes you sound like you know your way around a course.

  2. I've worked for William Hill for seven months, and I still have no idea how it's done. Apparently a horse with the smallest odds is the one most likely to win...but it's crap because you don't win much money when it does, and the favourite always seems to come second...and then for the likes of Cheltenham, according to my manager, people have been following these horses for months to see what they're like. I just smile, nod, take a bet and nod my head and smile when Tony starts talking about none runners and best odds and biggest odds and never winning anything....

  3. I only ever bet on the Grand National...and I go for the combination of pretty horse+pretty colours = good shot. If it has a name that means something to me...well then that's a dead cert!

    Oh! And it's DEFINITELY going to win if the jockey has the colours I used to wear when I went horse riding when I was little!

  4. Good or funny name has always worked for me. It's got that added element of sophistication above random pin in the newspaper.


    1. The old pin in the paper trick.

      Always a good one

  5. I don't bet on horses, but, you can bet if I did it would be the 'oooh pretty horsey' method lol.
    Just a random comment but my daughter was born on a Grand National (11 years ago) not far from Aintree racecourse :P

  6. I find if you read the horoscopes the week or two before. There is always a horse related prediction in them.

    "Luck bets on horse number six."
    A few years ago I did and I won £20.

  7. I tend to close my eyes and pick a horse by poking a pen at the paper, which can lead to trying to place a bet on a Chinese takeaway to win, oddly this never works, no clue why...

    I now ask my 14 year old son to pick a horse or dog for me, place a whole 50p bet and have won quite often. I think he may have special powers, spooky dooky. He won't tell me how he picks them though, he's evil like that.

    So I really have no idea how to pick a winner, I just randomly pick and hope for the best :)


  8. I work with racehorses so this post made me LOL!! Yes you can look at a horses form but this means nothing really it is all down to luck on the day, especially in races such as the Grand National. I always look at the jockey and trainer and never bet on a favourite!! Always watch the horses walking round the paddock before the race, the sweatier the horse the more worked up it is meaning it's raring to go, can't think of many more tips of the top of my head haha!! Hope this helps somehow :p



  9. The horse with the longest eyelashes? Just me? I'll get my coat ...


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