Thursday, 15 March 2012

There are some things you cannot unsee

In the mornings, I admit, I am not a sparkly being. While I understand that there are some of you out there that like to piss glitter and fart rainbows at 7am, I for one am a moody grumpy cow until at least 11am. (Ok, 1pm is a better time for me)

So the LAST thing I want to hear about in the morning is Bill Roache, AKA Ken Barlow from Coronation Street admitting to bedding over 1,000 women in his lifetime.

Really?

(It is like hearing your grandmother admit she likes anal sex. No-one wants to hear it, apart from perhaps grandad)


Bill, I am sure that now you are 146 years old you want to look back on your youth fondly, and perhaps the old memory banks aren't quite what they were, but lets face it,

It is Coronation Street, you weren't exactly the 5th member of the Beatles were you?

And hearing that your sexual prowess got you the nickname "Cock Roache" is something that makes me want to pluck out my eyes, reach deep into my cerebral cortex and scrub my brain so that I NEVER, I mean EVER remember that sentence again.


It is the equivalent of Heather from Eastenders in 30 years time saying about how many times she was offered the cover of Playboy.


Bill, there was no need to ruin my morning (and my breakfast) like this.

Cock Roache?

Shudders.


I'm going back to bed.


What do you think?


Is he over-exaggerating?

Do we HOPE he is exaggerating?

How many of you now will never be able to hear the term Cock Roach again without thinking of Ken Barlow?

Let me know



Big Fashionista
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16 comments

  1. eeeuuuwww... just.....eeuuuuwwwww.....

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  2. I think it's a lie! I mean 1000? I'm sure his wife would be so proud of him for telling everyone too!

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  3. I do not want to hear anyone old enough to be my granddad talk about sex. Ever. Sorry if that's ageist ha but there is no need to share!

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  4. I'm now scarred for life and will need therapy. I cannot say ew enough times to cover the total ewiness of him ever saying that.

    *shudders*

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  5. *reaches for eyeball/mind bleach* damn you Kellie, I got all excited about pissing glitter and Farting rainbows and then you DESTROY my happiness with talk of some auld wrinkly fella with even aulder wrinklier balls. EUUUW EUUW EUUUW!!!

    So, as compensation: you need to to a proper post about rainbows and glitter!

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  6. There's just not enough vom in the world for this gem, is there?

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  7. Lmaooooooo this is hilarious ken bloody barlow! xx

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  8. Replies
    1. I prefer to see him more as an against the wall sort of guy.

      Throws up

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  9. wugh! *throws up in mouth* there is such as thing as too much information, Mr Roache! I liked him so much up until this point as well!
    Love Amie xx
    www.creditcrunchchic.blogspot.com

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  10. "piss glitter and fart rainbows at 7am" MWahahahaha!!
    Oh god thanks for that I needed a chuckle! :D
    JJxx

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  11. Well, He's about 80, so he's had c60 years hard at the clung face (as someone on twitter put it earlier) - which works out at one lady every 21.9 days. Throw in a few threesomes and orgies and you can take bank holidays off. I reckon he's not far off.

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  12. Kellie, I am crying. I thought Cock Roache was bad but my Granny likes Anal Sex? There is not enough brain bleach to go round!

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  13. vomit vomit vomit vomit! If I see him on nom or vom I mean it... there are no words...

    dp
    x

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  14. Mind Bleach.
    Electro Shock Therapy.
    *vomits in mouth*

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  15. Bedding over 1000 womem... not really something you should want to admit to! He must be doing something right...although I can't entirely place what it is!


    www.lust-in-london.blogspot.com

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