Wednesday, 7 March 2012

What do swans know?

So yesterdays blog struck a cord with me. (No not the love for an inanimate object, me and Tallulah are not that close-honest)

I mentioned briefly about Mrs Of Liberty possibly falling in love with another statue in the future.

and it set my little hamster wheel turning in my head.

Question of the day.

Is it possible to love more than one person at once?

Now I'm not talking about loving em all night long at the same time, if you know what I mean, What two (or more) consenting adults do in private is completely down to them.

I am talking love. Real love.

Is it possible to be IN love with more than one person at the same time?

Personally I say it is.

I think we are capable of loving more than one person at the same time, just perhaps in different ways and for different things.

I'm not saying it is right, but I'm also not saying it's wrong. (Sometimes shit happens)

Who am I to judge anyone elses choices?

But what do YOU think?

Can you love more than one person at a time?

People with multiple children love all their children and each child individually fills your heart fit to burst so why not other people?

What makes us different from every other species on the planet? Apart from swans, they've got that monogamy shit down! (Oh and lobsters, but they aren't as pretty so I'd rather use swans as an example)

Let me know.

Big Fashionista x x


  1. I think you can and I think it's probably in different ways, i agree.

    However I also think its possible to not act on impulses and stay faithful so while I wouldn't judge someone for developing feelings for more than one person, if they were cheating left right and centre i would totally have my judgemental hat on :p

  2. I think its complicated, but I certainly think yes you can. I was already thinking of the same argument you put forward of how with multiple children your heart expands and you love them equally but differently. I have also genuinely seen people sadly lose a partner they truly loved but eventually fall in love again, they still love and grieve but love again.
    In some cases I think people confuse love with lust or love with friendship and when they do this they make it complicated. Love requires respect and if you don't respect someone enough to stay faithful or share your feelings I'm not sure you can be in love with them. Equally, sex does not require love, so just because you fancy the pants off someone and have chemistry doesnt make it love.

  3. I've been there and so in my opinion, yes you can. I don't however recommend it - it was a horrible time to go through and caused a lot of hurt feelings.

  4. I am with Denise. I did and it nearly tore me apart. Sometimes, I still wonder if I made the right choice...

  5. You really do chat shit sometimes. Of course you can't love more than one person at the same time. If you fall in love with someone else then you never loved the person you were with.

    It just does not work that that. It is never love. It is usually only lust and that fades fast.

    1. Apart from the chat shit comment I am quite happy to hear your opinion. But if you want to add an insult to any comments you make prepare for them to be deleted. I'm quite happy for people to disagree with me, we are all allowed our own opinions but lets cut the insults


  6. Marriage and coupledom in general have been the socially accepted norm in Western society for a long time, as it has been found to be a good structure within which to raise a family successfully. Like it or not, raising children and providing a financially stable homelife among the primary reasons why the legal state of marriage should exist. The necessity to "Go forth and multiply" is, after all, the driving force behind all species on earth. :)

    However, other societies have found that harems/communal living are the way forward, others still accept polygamy as the norm... So, it is not impossible to imagine that some of these types of marriages are not just social arrangements, and a man with a few wives may love each of them equally. So from that point of view, it's certainly possible to love more than one person.

    However, in our own society, just as there are many people who are attracted to their own sex, or both sexes, I can also believe there are also people who genuinely can love two people at the same time. Unfortunatley, because everything is structured towards couples, they are left in a quandary, and HAVE TO choose: if it is genuine love, it is NOT POSSIBLE to be unfaithful to either person. Unless, of course, they are able to come to a polyamorous arrangement, where love and time can be given equally and openly to all parties. Given the accepted norm of coupledom and the way jealousy works, that is unlikely to happen.

  7. I never knew lobsters were monogamous, thank you for teaching me something :)

  8. I think you can love more than one person at once easily. But I think unless you've agreed to an open relationship you should be sexually faithful to ONE alone.

  9. Good lord lady - it's hard enough coping with the whims of one bloke. No matter how much I loved them, dealing with two lots of bloke baggage is just too much for me to think about... ;-) x

  10. I'm with Forest Flower. :D Seriously, I don't think you can, romantically. If you're falling in love with one fellow, you're falling out with the other one. I'm quite a linear beast though.

  11. I think there are many types of love and you can love more than one person but acting on it will not be benificial for anyone, neither would it be fair. Does it happen? Yes but I think the swans are a lovely example in being faithful. True love is more than a warm fuzzy feeling.. it also stands the test of time, the good and the bad. Sticking to one person may not be easy but definitely worth it to me :)

  12. I find this difficult to contemplate as I've only ever loved one person in nearly 40yrs and even 12yrs later I still feel in love with said heartbreaker. So yes I hope to fall in love once more. But equally I'm not overly fussed by monogamy. However, I'm not sure if that's lust as opposed to real proper head over heels in love.

  13. Why does nobody have the balls to post their name when they disagree with something any more? The internet has stolen all the balls.

    Sometimes I think things are shit. You know what I do? I keep my mouth & my fingers to myself (Oooh, matron!).

    I personally think it's possible to love more than one person at once, but I'm not sure if I believe that you can be IN love with more than one person. I've had crushes - but it didn't mean that I was in love with them. I think there's a difference between real love and crush love, one wanes very quickly and one becomes second nature - I couldn't imagine life without my OH, something happening to him is my greatest fear (apart from something happening to our son). No matter how strong a crush or how lustful I've been in the past, I've never felt that way about anyone before.

    So in conclusion to my popcorn-fuelled ramble, I don't think it's possible imho x

  14. After breaking up with my ex-boyfriend for my current one, I was still in love with him when I fell in love again. So, yeah it's definitely possible. In my head I'd chosen to be with this new guy and I fell so deeply in love with him, I was still completely in love with my ex too. I didn't feel stronger for either, just kept riding the wave of my decision. I know people would be like, 'Ah but you weren't IN LOVE with both'. But, I genuinely was. And, let me tell you, it was shit and painful. I hurt both of them along the way, as well as myself. Loving one person is so much easier.


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