Monday, 9 April 2012

Caffeine, Lent and some plastic tubing

I came to the conclusion a very long time ago that the chances of Jesus ever wanting me for a sunbeam were pretty slim,

I'm of the opinion that I may well be heading slightly further south when I decide to depart this earth, which to be honest, I'm ok with. (Red is so much more my colour and any halo that I may have earnt would probably slip quite quickly, and I already have the horns apparently)

But each year I think I might as well hedge my bets and give something up for Lent.

This year, I decided to give up coffee.

BIG MISTAKE, HUGE (said in a Julia Roberts, Pretty Woman sort of way)  

Now by the time you read this on Monday I may have slipped into a caffeine coma, and please whatever you do don't pull that tube out of my bum, Coffee Enema, say no more. (let us never speak of this again)

Jesus suffered did he?

Bet he didn't give up coffee.

Never ever again. I swear once I had got over the blinding headache, irritability and shakes (hardest 6 hours of my life)  all I wanted was to find the nearest Starbucks and roll in it.

and YES I did take it personally that Starbucks decided to give away Lattes during Lent, In my mind now, and forever I will associate Starbucks with the Devil trying to tempt me with its tricky little ways. (Bastards)

Giving up Coffee for me was the equivalent of giving up air, (At one point I would have gladly swapped my choices)  I am never without a cup of coffee in my hand, I mean ever!

Over the last week I have been imagining all the ways I would absorb coffee into my body on Easter Sunday.

Coffee Enemas

Coffee flavoured chocolate

Instant Coffee,

Fresh Coffee,

Cappucino body lotions,

Even lipsticks with cappucino in the name wouldn't be safe.

(I thought about this quite often, can you tell?)

 By 10am Easter Sunday I could have doubled for the Easter Bunny I was HOPPED out of my brain. (although that may have had something to do with the triple strength pain killers I took for my back)

Mmmmmmmmmmm the sweet, sweet nectar that is coffee.

May you never, ever leave me again......

I expect to be struck immediately from Gods naughty list (Oh hang on, was that Santa?) and am now currently measuring myself for either wings or sunglasses (those sunbeams are BRIGHT)

Next year I am giving up NOTHING, or if I want to keep safe maybe I should just give up green beans, (evil little stringy green things are surely the work of the devil anyway)

Coffee I will do you a deal, I will never give you up again and you promise me that we will never, ever discuss that plastic tubing situation again. DEAL?

What, if anything did you give up for Lent this year?

How did you do?

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x


  1. Well done! I can't believe you managed it! I'm trying to cut down my coffee guzzling to three cups a day and just can't do it! (I say cup - my Cath Kidston mug actually fits two normal cups of coffee...)

    I hope no one has said that now you've not had coffee for 40 days you can carry on without it!

  2. I have up nothing, I don't even know when lent is/was....thankfully I don't drink coffee (or much tea really) so I've got no proper addictions. Except just food in general :-)

  3. Finally reached you!!! gosh blogger you are one complicated system. Anyways, I feel you paaaaiiinnn!!!! I gave up coffee late February, due to some horrible life issues that were causing way to much stress and anxiety so caffeine had to go. I had my first proper coffee today and lady was it gooooood.... It has been bloody hard, and even though at the start of my "fasting" I was doing ok, it's been the long term, weeks having passed and now Im really craving it. I gave it up because the break could only do me good, but really, giving up on the pleasure a fresh cup of coffee is, seems like quite the unhappy life to me... I dont know, maybe Im shallow, but I need my little mugs of happiness hehehe. Next year I will be giving up... green beans likely, probably Brussels sprouts too ;)

  4. Well done! Lady I work with gave up coffee, and couldn't wait to slurp some this weekend. :)
    I gave up crisps, again, twice in two years now. I hate it for a couple of weeks, then think it's ok, then can't wait to snack away when Lent is over. Did wonders for my waistline though.

  5. Well, I gave up crisps and coffee. Not just coffee - all coffee shops! Wasn't even allowed to go buy a cake from one! On Easter Sunday I was in a crisps induced coma! Didn't think I'd missed coffee that much, until I drank a cup!!

    Next year for lent I'm giving up fast food restaurants! Watch this space - someone might die..

  6. I gave up cake. I work in a bakery twice a week. that was hard, never again lol.

  7. OMFG!!! Kellie! I was hosing (geddit??? hey you said enema first) myself laughing at this. You poor Poor sodding child. I got caught like that one year. Never again. Ever.

    This year for lent, I gave up Negativity. I realise that this would be impossible for you, you would probably die...

  8. I could NOT give up coffee at any time or for anyone, other than a baby bump, ever. RESPECT :)

  9. You're a hoot! Great post. As ever x

  10. Um cappuccino body lotion? Do you have that?! Want! Enjoy your coffee coma :-)


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