Thursday, 12 April 2012

The hands off approach to NHS physiotherapists

Seeing as I am currently Tramadol'd out of my tree due to my back going into spasm over the weekend and locking up tighter than a ducks arse I read with a lot of interest yesterday about Physiotherapists being issued a "hands off" rule in Rushcliffe, Nottingham
(You can sort of see this blog post is not going to be a deep one can't you?)

Instead of offering one assessment session and up to four treatment sessions the managers in charge (the words piss up, brewery, couldn't manage a, come to mind) have decided that they will only fund an "advice and guidance" session.


If I EVER get around to finally being referred to a physiotherapist for my back and shoulder issues and they give me anything less than a 20 minute massage WITH OILS, I am going to put my back out again kicking and screaming in a tantrum of epic diva-like proportions.

Hell I demand a massage if I go to my gynacologist! (foreplay innit?)

You want them to give "advice and guidance"? Fine. Can't they rub my shoulders a bit while they do so?

It is like going to hairdresser for a haircut and coming away with advice on how to style your new hair and no cut.

A dentist, not allowed to look in your mouth

or going to a prostitute that doesn't touch your penis,

it's kind of pointless (unless you like that sort of thing-the prostitute NOT the dentist)  

I know that physios aren't just glorified massage therapists, and I appreciate the advice and guidance that they can offer, but I fail to see how any physio can be happy with being reduced to a walking, talking self-help manual.

They have to be able to manipulate joints, feel the muscles that are taut and show people how to do exercises as well as see how people are progressing. If I was given a leaflet and told to complete the exercises alone then I PROMISE you the first time it hurt I would sob, cry for my mummy and never do the exercises again.

I would then trot (crawl) back to my Dr, nod when he asked if I had done all my exercises correctly, scream for more pain-relief which would end up costing the NHS more than physiotherapy would have and then in a year or two probably go BACK to the doctors for treatment for my addiction to pain killers!!! (this IS my future, I can see it now)

All for the sake of a bloody massage!!!!

So, powers-that-be of Rushcliffe Nottingham, HANDS OFF our physiotherapists.

They are needed and do an excellent job of rehabilitation.

You may think you are saving money but in the long run it is definitely not a way to cut costs.

Unless of course you grab those non-penis touching prostitutes out there and get them to give the massages instead.

Oh god, I've just put that idea in their head now haven't I?

What do you think about this new hands off directive being issued,

Is physiotherapy a waste of NHS resources?

will YOU come and give me a massage?

Is a dentist that doesn't look in your mouth even a good idea?

or how has a physiotherapist helped you?

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x


  1. My last physio session had me lying on my back as the rather cute Phil bent over me & held my hips tight as I moved my legs. No idea if it helped my back but can't wait to go back!

  2. I have experienced the 'hands off' was useless. I was told to make sure I stretched out thoroughly I did..and matters got worse! When I returned and saw a different physio (also hands off) I was informed that the problem was I was hyper-flexible and far from stretching I needed to build certain muscles..So there I had been stretching like a contortionist and actually making my back worse. Bring back hands on!

  3. I had phyiso a few years back. I found it weird that I had to decide that I wanted it and ref myself. I am not sure if that's just Wales or every. I must have had like 4 sessions. The guy just seemed to think I was wasting his time and talked to me like I was something he stood on. He just told me exercises to do but nothing else. To be honest I would never do it again. After I had a car accident I went to a chiropractor they massaged my back and corrected it for me. I think they are much better but that is my opinion.

  4. I've had physio on my back after a nasty accident many years ago which means every now and then it goes into spasm. Whilst it's untreatable if it's really in spasm, what helps is, once it has started to loosen, lots of massage and manipulation of the spine if required. It makes me cry from pain but it feels so much better afterwards.

    I think the hands off approach is pointless as a physio needs to be able to feel the muscles they are treating, assess whether there any small imbalances in the spine which could be causing the problem.

    I understand that it is probably due to either 'elf'n'safety or the ridiculous litigation culture that is going on but how are physios meant to do their job if they cannot properly assess their patients?

    Hope your back is feeling better soon and you're off the tramadol and back on planet earth in the near future! x

  5. I thought the whole point of physio was to manipulate, stretch and generally work on bits of your body?! You couldn't have a hands-off doctor could you? How would they examine you?! Madness. I can get advice and guidance on the internet or over the phone and not fork out for it thanks!

    I've been to a chiropractor and a physio and both were good in different ways. Both I spent a lot of time in my underwear and with the physio a fair amount of time sitting in my pants waiting for him to come back in the room... He ran the practice so kept getting called away.

    The weirdest bit though was the first time I went and he asked me to undress to my underwear and then proceeded to take photos of me from the side. It was actually very useful to show me where my back was not the right shape but no one believes me when I tell the story! xx

  6. It seems completely pointless from either a health and safety or a cost cutting point of view. They are health specialists...can you imagine if other health specialists had a hands off approach? The nurse brings you dressings in the hospital and tells you to bandage yourself up because it's hands off? Your GP gives you a mirror and tells you to look into it, say aaah, and tell them what you can see in your throat because they're hands off? Here's a swab, do your own damn cervical smear, we're hands off. The surgeon hands you a scalpel and gives you a road map to your's all hands off now...

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