Wednesday, 2 May 2012

A Caterpillar Catastrophe

I've never really had The Telegraph down as scaremongerers before but I read with interest yesterday about the fact that poisonous caterpillars COULD bring misery to millions of Olympic spectators this year.

You can see the article here  ----> Telegraph Article (it's full of maybes, could haves and in the right circumstances.)

Now if it would have been written that the TRANSPORT was going to cause misery  for millions I would've understood but CATERPILLARS?

Resists urge to yell, IT'S SOOOOOOOOOO FLUFFY.

What are they going to do? Form a pickpocketing gang? Forcing younger caterpillars  to steal on their behalf? Making rival caterpillars leave the area or face their wrath?

I LIVE in East London, trust me the caterpillars are the least of your worries.

(I don't think I'm going to be on any Olympic PR lists after this do you? Shame, beach volleyball is my thang)

Although I do have an image in my head of a group of leather jacket wearing ASBO wielding caterpillars going fully tooled up to watch the syncronised swimming. (It is both scary and funny what goes through my head sometimes)

I suppose we should count our lucky stars that The Daily Mail hasn't got hold of this, they would have a field day.

Immigrant caterpillars. coming over here, taking jobs from our English caterpillars. probably getting a flat close by the Olympic Village on BENEFITS, there is probably 600 of them in a one-roomed flat!!!!

Bastard caterpillars.

But the problem is, caterpillars don't stay caterpillars forever.

What comes next?

Butterflies!!!! (ok moths-smartarse)

and suddenly those ground-to-air missiles being places on the top of the block of flats make perfect sense don't they?

Although possibly overkill.

What do you think?

Will caterpillars be the one thing that brings down the Olympics?

Ground-to-air missiles to kill butterflies? (moths) Overkill or a wise investment?

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x



  1. Surely you meant beach volleyball is your "thong"? Sorry. Catepillars. Bastard bastard bastard things. Be under no illusion about these, they are not fluffy. Those hairs are lethal. You think I am leading up to a joke here dont you? I am not. 20 years ago, to the month, I was 9 months and 2 weeks pregnant and made Jessica Simpson look sylph-like. Our trees were infested with catepillars that I was allergic to, my already pregnant feet were massive and so itchy I took the lid off the germolene, chucked away the tube and clawed my feet with the serated edge of the lid. Bet that's the cutest mental image you get all day! I bloody hate these catepillars for that reason. And as for moths. Fuuuck - they fly, I am totally phobic about anthing that flies, so yep anti-tank guns at the ready for the wing'ed bastards. And breathe. xxx

    1. Resists urge to cuddle aforementioned caterpillar ;-)

  2. I'm so sick of the Olympics already. My Aunt has been employed for the Summer by the Olympic Committe as an Ambassador (with a blazer and everything) and guess where she will be working? Manchester. Talk about riding someones coattails. I know Englands a small place, but you'd have to be fucking catastrophically stupid to mistake Manchester for London. Apparently there will be big screens. Ugh. CRAP. Team CATERPILLAR

  3. HAHAHA! Gosh, what will come next?! A frog plague, maybe even a river of blood might stop the Olympics. Simple advice - carry a pack of antihistamines or piriton syrup (aka snooze syrup, not for when driving!). Man. So funny. xx


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