Tuesday, 1 May 2012

When someone makes your teeth itch

When I grow up, I want to be just like Gwyneth Paltrow. Either that or shove my hand in a blender.

Hmmmmmmm, now I think about it, the blender is very tempting.

There is something about Gwyneth that makes me want to not be a nice person. (I know, shocker)

I'm not jealous that she bangs Chris Martin on a semi-regular basis.

I don't give a monkeys arse what she names her children.

She just offends me with the crap that often spouts out of her mouth.

I would probably understand it more if she came out with shockers such as

"Oh THIS dress? Why yes, it is made from the skin of puppies and the buttons are indeed baby seahorses"

(Bet she wouldn't make the best dressed list in that dress)

or "Fuck vegetarianism, who wants a burger?"

But she doesn't. (Actually I would probably LOVE her for coming out with those)

Instead she just seems to drone on about things while trying to relate to everyone out there.

It seems to me that a lot of very rich, very famous people out there, Gwyneth included  try to connect with their "public" by saying how hard their life is.

Firstly, if you are calling them your public, you are in danger of disappearing so far up your own arse you might as well check your tonsils while you are there.

Secondly we don't feel as if we are connecting with us if you moan about the stress in your life, instead we make little voodoo dolls and stick pins in your face. (That might just be me) When Madonna complained about life as a single parent I didn't see people queeing up to offer babysitting duties or to share the school run instead we all sneered and made comments about what the hell does she know about the hardship of single parenting.

Do I give a crap about what sexual positions Gwyneth likes?

Oh hell no.

Although if I wanted to be harsh I could suggest she go f*** herself.

(I told you, she makes me not want to be a nice person, I can't help it)  

Am I being unduly harsh on Ms Paltrow?

Or does she make your teeth itch too?

Let me know.

Big Fashionista x x



  1. I totally agree with you! She annoys me too and I find her verbal drivel to be sanctimonious, patronising bollocks.

  2. OMG I have been meaning to blog about GP for a while. My friend showed me an interview she did around the time her recipe book came out. The thing that made me want to scream was when she said after a busy day filming, she goes home and just throws a tea towel over her shoulder and it just grounds her!! (something she learnt from Brad Pitts mother apparently). I know.

  3. No, not just you. Its this "worthy" crap. Its so unbelievable. The thing is, in The Royal Tenenbaums she was so good, I started to forget all the new age bull she spouts. But then she starts a blog/recipe/lifestyle site and calls it Goop. Goop? WTF? And we're all supposed to forget how great we are at being a Mum, the kind without infinite wads of cash, stylists and nannies at our beck and call, and worship at the altar of Gwynnie. Not happening. However good she is at acting, I just think she comes across as a tit.

  4. I want to be a good person who doesn't say nasty things about other people, but I get this, it drives you there! Mr.G and I have a running joke about how "grounded" we feel every time we sling a tea towel over our shoulder. Give. Me. Strength.

  5. I don't want to say that anyone's life is easier than mine just because they have (a lot) more money than me.


    when you and your husband both earn millions each year, you cannot be grounded.

    Also see: Kate Winslet


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