Wednesday, 11 July 2012

Aren't ALL women real?

There is quite a lot of things out there that anger and frustrate me. (Oh don't make me list them, I will be here all night) but recently there has been one sentence that has really boiled my piss.

"Real women"

What I find offensive about this term is seeing it used by SOME plus size/curvy/overweight/voluptuous (delete until you find a word that doesn't offend you) women and marketing agencies not as a way to make themselves feel good but as a derogatory term towards other women.

"Only a dog wants a bone"

"Why have a stick when you can have the whole tree"

"Real Women have curves"

Now before you all scream for my head to be removed from my body and impaled upon a stick outside Primark or some other place where it can be sneered at for all eternity, I am saying this as an overweight (My words, deal with it) woman myself.

Aren't all women real women?

Why can't we all just be who WE want to be and are happy with without feeling the need to put down someone else?

Real women have curves? So if you DON'T have curves does that makes you less of a woman? A female athlete who has toned her body and is at the top of her game isn't a real woman?  Just because she doesn't have curves? The size 6 model who appears in Vogue? Isn't she a real woman? Or is she somehow LESS of a woman? an UNREAL woman?

I don't think so.

I am all for embracing our figures but not at the expense of someone else. Why should I make myself feel better by making someone else feel bad?

So what do we think?

Is the term "Real women" offensive? Or is it just a way for an overweight/curvy/plus size/voluptuous women to take back and have confidence?

Is it a criticism against thin women or a criticism against society?

Let me know.

Big Fashionista x x x



  1. Oh god yeah Kellie...a pet hate of mine too. It takes women back a step in my opinion, saying that only "real" women have curves. As you know...I have plenty of them. But that doesn't make me more of a woman than my slender friends? No. Course it doesn't. Total bollocks. Put it in the Cliche Bin along with "All men are bastards" etc etc.

    I heart you x

  2. Oooh good point I suppose it has become part of a corporate Bitchfest over figures and what's "acceptable", but also I'm still sick of how accepted it is to have such young and very thin models modelling and advertising everything as a standard, there isn't a variety of shapes in your average catwalk or magazine and that frustrates me, don't even get me started on airbrushing, where even gorgeous people are altered beyond recognition! I think a lot more can be done to show young people that imperfections are acceptable and part of "reality", but equally that slender is as real as curves, and that we come in all heights, shapes, freckles, bumps and all. x

  3. Do I sound hippy now...should I just hug a tree and get over it?

  4. Yes, 100%.
    It's meant to be inclusive of the curvier woman, of which I am decidedly one. However because it excludes those without curves, it manages to piss all over it's own inclusivity. Make me feel better whilst making somebody else feel worse? No thanks.

    Real women are… women. In all their many guises and sizes.

  5. I am totally with you on this one. Nothing, repeat nothing makes me more angry than advertisers and marketeers dividing women against one another and making out you can only be 'real' if a size 14+. Especially in a Britain where weight linked to health problems is such a national issue. I am happily a size 8-10, fairly tall and with big tits (yeah, deal with it some ladies - it's how God made me). I see no reason whatsoever to slander another person due to their size. I take in personality and humour, wit and charm as much as I do physical attributes. And controversially, I still want to look at beautiful people in mags - gives me something to aspire to. I know *that's* not reality. If I want to look at reality, I'll look in the mirror or walk down the street - lines, grey roots, stomach and all. Btw, magazines never made anyone anorexic - it's a myth. Anorexia is about ultimate control. This I say from experience.

  6. I totally agree with you on this one, and further more as a large girl myslef I find it quite patronising, like getting a pat on the head, there there dear, we might stick our pathetically tiny selection of clothes on a little corner in the back of the shop but if we say its a range for 'real women' you wont feel in any way offended..... and to say plus size shops are just as bad, they still single out larger ladies as different. Real inclusivity should entail ranges that are availabe for all shapes, and sizes necauze we are all damn gorgeous..... Ok rant over x

  7. The odd word above should read 'because'....ranting affects my ability to type !! :-D

  8. I don't think you can define a "real woman" because we come in all shapes and sizes! So Kim Kardashian is the new 'real woman' and I dont have curves like her - does that make me less of a woman? I dont think so!

    This media/marketing/press makes you feel like you need to keep changing to be perfect in their eyes and it's ridiculous. You're a woman whether you're a size 4 or 24.

  9. YES - This a hundred times over. I'ma size 22, and find it incredibly patronising. It's degrading to my fellow thinner friends, and you've completely hit the nail on the head, some plus size women use it as a tool to make themselves feel better about being fat. You're fat if you don't like it, do something about it, don't bring other women down. Thin women have feelings too & have confidence issues too. I personally embrace my figure & love my size, all bodies are good bodies!!!

  10. Real women have Y chromosomes. That is the ONLY defining factor, not what dress size you are. The rest is just a devisive stereotype perpetuated by ad agencies to sell their stuff.

  11. So agree with this, one of my pet hates. Had a massive rant about it the other day, drives me crazy!

  12. Its all money making hype, pigeonholing various types of women so that more products can be shoved their way to make them feel different and special so that...yep....they spend more money. Its all about money, everything is. Just ignore it and get on with ur lives. We're all real aren't we? Total rubbish. The End. ;o)

  13. I like this post, the "real women" articles do always seem to be at the expense of skinnier women and isn't that kind of contradicting the point that they are normally trying to make by empowering women to feel happy and confident in their own bodies. Unless its real women week then the skinny women can do one, or if it's beach body week the "real women" are repulsive and they should aim to look more like the skinny women. No wonder women and men are confused about what's normal. If normal even is a thing anymore, aren't we all normal? And real? Pretty sure I'm not a figment of someone's imagination.

  14. Totes agree with you lady. But .. I do think it originally came from a 'good' place in that those particular companies wanted women who were 'bigger' than Vogue models to feel like they were beautiful too. I feel it's backfired a little as they're now marginalising women who DON'T have curves. Shot themselves in the foot a little I think.

    You complete me.

  15. Brillint piece, I get sick to death of that sentence and the constant media battle of curvy Vs skinny, when really who gives a toss what size we are we should just embrace it! I officially love you even more for the sentence "boiled my piss". You have literally just made my lunch break far more fun :o) xx

  16. I get totally sick of hearing this "Real Women" everywhere. I am a size 6-8 and always have been. I've come to terms with the fact that I will never be curvy. Does this mean that men dont find me attractive? No. Different men like different women and it isnt all about looks/shape/size.

    I dont think these companies should be promoting the "real woman" by trying to made smaller women feel bad about themselves.

  17. It is a divisive tool and obvs thought up by a man.

  18. Not too fussy on great big fat massive, gigantic, whale type obese women. But also not fussy about women who have angles. This applies to MEN as well.

    Eric burrows

  19. Wow, so I'm a real woman but my daughters aren't? Oddness.

    FFS woman are woman regardless of size or anything else.

  20. Have never understood why women need to be put into categories because we're all real. We're alive, breathing and living a life. I'm overweight, my sister is underweight. She'd pass for a size 8 model on the front cover of Vogue and I'd pass for a Michelin man. Sick of being judged on how I look. And saying that, I'd love to see larger ladies modelling clothes that will fit me and look good on me, but I guess we can't have everything!

    CJ x

  21. Every woman who has a vag is a real woman, and probably quite a lot of trans* folks who are living as women because that's what they want to be. Big, small, old young, we're all bloody wimmin if we consider ourselves female. End of! xoxo

  22. The terminology has been coined as a way of taking back the confidence that has been bashed out of people in recent years. It's just so happened that it's been adopted by women that happen to be over weight. Surely, 'real women' should apply to all women, like you've said. If you look at the series that was put on with Coleen Rooney fronting it, it asked for 'real women' of all shapes, heights ethnicities, skin tones, hair colours etc and went against the astetically 'perfect' models that we are bombarded with on a daily basis via advertising etc.

  23. Totally agree - I don't like the term REAL WOMEN - we are all real, apart from them that fake it!;)

  24. We want to show case our customers so that our customers can see what our clothes look like styled by our customers & not worn by paid models on the website. We have struggled to find a suitable word (if one exists) as to what to call our customers that are not paid models?
    We decided on creating a 'Show & Tell' section on our website (2 weeks ago) & have received some really positive feedback.
    Let us know what you think x
    I am not offended by the term 'real' women as I understand what brands mean by this but I also don't want to offend anyone as all women are indeed 'real'
    Ruth - x

  25. I don't like the whole 'real women have curves' thing but the phrase 'real women' on its own doesn't bother me. I just thought it meant that they were using everday women instead of professional models, maybe the whole thing went completely over my head!

  26. If you hammer it back to its bare bones the entire phrase "real women have curves" is in fact pretty bloody patronising. I suspect it was coined by a real woman who is a size zero marketing guru who lives on Krug and nicotine and needed a way to make those fat women, (anyone over a size 10) that make her shudder when they sit next to her on the train, feel included in her brands' particular advertising campaign and we fat birds are supposed to feel all warm and fuzzy and empowered by it. Frankly Merlot makes me warm and fuzzy not bullshit ad speak.

  27. I dont understand the term "Real" women as Im pretty sure , unless Im trawling second life (Remember that?!) then all women I know are real. Just because some ladies are fuller, have more curves and what not, it's patronising to say " Well your a real woman"....People come in all shapes and sizes.
    I'd say to define a Real woman, is to label it to someone who is Happy,confident and loving. So if that is what a real Women is, then I AM A REAL WOMAN too! x

  28. I am a real woman too .. what got my goat recently was when someone was looking for bloggers to review spa products at home . great I thought so off I toddled to send off my email

    I got a reply back we'd rather feature on beauty / bloggers sites as we have had mixed review on general blogs.

    So it seems that people like myself who write general blogs are not capable of judging Spa products at home because we are all to busy cooking , cleaning looking after kids. Sigh


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