Tuesday, 3 July 2012

The greatest sporting events of 2012

The time is nearly upon us.

The greatest sporting moment of 2012,

There is no more training that can be done, it now all rests in the lap of the gods. You can see the tension etched on the face of the participants,

Have they done enough, will their body see them through their event. Can they win?

Ladies and gentlemen.


That time of year when parents who have gossiped with each other all year about the hot new male nursery teacher (So so hot) basically turn their backs on each other and demand a piss test of the winner of the egg and spoon race.

THIS is why nowadays schools are making Sports Days non-competitive. it isn't the children, it is the adults. I have seen adults have stand up, knock down arguments over whether their child actually crossed the line first. It was frightening to watch adults being judged by children and found to be wanting. The children didn't care who won, they applauded, stamped and cheered on every winner.

The adults? erm, not so much. Adults will eye up the winning childs footwear suspiciously to see if that has given them an unfair advantage? Sniff their drinks to make sure they don't contain Red Bull (It was an ACCIDENT, the bottles got mixed up) and even weigh the eggs to make sure their child isn't handicapped with a heavier egg. (that was a long old sports day that one)

And let's not even START on the parents race. Long gone are the days when mummies and daddies used to get dragged into a race protesting, kicking off their birkenstocks to run barefoot in the grass, all laughing and joking as they cross the line all red with embarassment.

Now you are more likely to see parents stroll up to sports day clad head to toe in Adidas, "What these old things? I'm going straight to the gym afterwards"

Yeah course you are darling, The only Gym you know is the Jim who serves you three sausage rolls at a time in Greggs.

One adult I know put so much into their parents race they broke a BONE!!!!!

Some parents even TRAIN with their children for Sports Day!!! Train? How do you train for a school sports day? (This comes from the mother who has to be dragged unwillingly to even attend! Seriously I have got them for 8 whole weeks soon, let me enjoy these last two weeks in PEACE FFS)

I don't know, maybe the whole thing should be cancelled and I should just go to a spa for the day.

What do you think?

Are School sports days fun?

Should they be banned?

and WHEN do you think schools will introduce random drug tests for sports day

Let me know.

Big Fashionista x x


  1. My son's school has no field so they do theirs in playground (or as last year in hall due to rain) so just basic bean bag carrying and trampoline, so not too competitive. I hated sports day as a kid though, so dull. can I request a rant on talent shows, I have to endure this in a week, talent... of 4-7 year olds... I'm petrified and fear I'll require counselling again

    1. Hands you wine. There there.

      Talent shoes for 4-7 yr olds? 4-7 yr olds have no talent apart from getting on my nerves! My 6yr old could win Olympic gold at that

    2. I misread that as 47 year olds and thought that was oddly specific.

  2. Sports Day is just one of the consolations I give myself when I start to fear my son starting 'big' school... Oooooh to think, no more sports day (book day, bring cakes day, non-uniform day, easter parade etc)! Ours with the wonderful addition - to twang the last taut straw - the activity stations!!! Oh yes, just as they wind up the relay, I'm thinking TFFT I can leave, all sports days end with The Relay, don't they? No. No they bloody well drag it out with these activity stations to enable the less althetic kids with a chance to win a sticker... And more parental show offery... Cue tennis keepy up-y, I overheard 'of course Allegra has a natural gift for tennis with her excellent co-ordination' *looks at said child currently excavating her nostril like only a 6yr old can*... then onto 'how far can you throw a foam ball (real balls might make contact)' and on and on and on.... It's this Thursday...

  3. Our sports days got rained off, yay! And whoops, rescheduled for next week when I'm at various Christmas press days.... oh dear husband has to go this year. And entertain the 1 yr old at the same time.... tee hee!

    1. Same for me! Sports day is tomorrow. Whoops. I'm out all day ;-)

      Shaaaaaaaaame ;-)

  4. I used to be one of the harassed teachers corralling all those kids and their parents! I've seen it from both sides.

  5. True story.

    1994. Holly Park Primary School, N11.

    Sports day.

    The egg and spoon race. There was a competitor disagreement which Mrs Brown quickly quashed. She dragged the nasty boy away. I threw my egg at him. I missed. I hit Mrs Brown in the head.

    Sports day was no more. I was sent home in disgrace.

    Sports day has since been a swear word.

    Ban it.

    That is all x

  6. What we need is another bloody good war to get all our principles and ideas and actions back to normal, Everyone gets too much and too easy.

    1. Sorry Anon, can't quite see what your point is.

      And I don't think there is EVER such a thing a good war.

      Bloody ? Yes

      Good? No

  7. I used to enjoy school sports days! They were a whole lot simpler back in the day of course..

  8. Our sports day has just been cancelled because of the rain. Can't say I am not just a teensy bit pleased. Ok I am completely delighted although they are still running the afternoon family learning event which I understand includes the opportunity for parents and children to try out different sports, including, I am told kickboxing and zumba, wish me luck!

  9. When I have kids We're going out to win school sports day. Before the event we're having a long holiday at high altitude. Kinesio tape will be the latest fashion statement, and daddy will be cooking EPO on toast followed by a Creatine Latte (3 extra shots of espresso in there too.

    They will also suddenly be asthmatic so I can legitimately pump them full of salbutamol and clenbuterol.

    Oh yes my boy Ben, or Dwain, or Alberto, or Lance (pending the result of a USADA investigation)and his sister, little Marion or ermmm...... will do very well indeed.

    What do you mean 'average at sports' and 'living through my as yet unconceived children'?

    I Don't know WHAT YOU MEAN.

  10. GirlyMathsGeek4 July 2012 at 18:33

    Going all serious here (sorry) my youngest has a motor disability so I pulled him out of sports day this year. We've gone through 3 and its not so much the kids but the adults "whats wrong with him?" and the competitive nature. I think they're great for kids who enjoy sport but sometimes think it'd be better without the parents there. Again, sorry for the seriousness, will be back to fluffy and silly soon enough!

    1. cant agree enough babe. Thats my point. The parents suck a lot of the fun out it where the children want to run and play


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