Monday, 2 July 2012

Tabloid TRASH-Stop the press.

I've given up buying Newspapers, If I want to be mislead, looked down on or treated like crap I will go and visit Abercrombie & Fitch.

Tabloid newspapers are basically cartoons these days, they have given up reporting on news altogether and are now just filling their pages with fluff and filler so lightweight that even Heat magazine would blush at the thought of publishing it.

Take The Sunday People (For gods sake, someone, take it away) When I saw the front pages I realised that if ever there was a time to yell STOP THE PRESS then THIS was it.

Now I know that Journalists hate Bloggers comparing themselves to journalists, But I am more of a journalist than anyone who works on The Sunday People will ever be. (Hell my eleven year old daughter is more of a Journalist than some of these people)

Let me talk you through this page by page and see if you agree with me.

FRONT PAGE.  (you know, the important page)

Could it be the continuation of the massacres in Syria? The Banking Crisis? Oh Silly me, it is the news that Pippa Middleton is back in the arms of her ex-flame.

(Well THANK GOD for that, her lack of action had been keeping me awake of a night for months)

Page 2

A small article on TORY JOY as PM vows to consider a referendum for Europe. This is accompanied by a photo of "Cam and Sam"  (Their words, not mine-Oh Sunday People, so close and yet so far)

Page 3

Helen Flanagan in a bikini in Dubai

Now I'm sure her mother is thrilled, one more for the scrapbook and all that, (it will look lovely along all those FHM and Nuts photoshoots)  but not a single part of me sees this as news in any way shape or form. This is so shallow it makes a puddle look deep and meaningful. Not a single ounce of news here. not even a gram.

Pages 4-5

The Sunday People goes deeper into its front page story about Pippa Middleton.
How the hell they managed to scrape a front page AND two more pages out of this bilge is beyond me and they are parading it as an EXCLUSIVE. (Possibly because other newspapers were too ashamed to make a story out of it?)

Page 7 

Under the heading News and Features (can I sue under the Trades Description act?)

Beckham snubs Olympics, Ryan Giggs goes to Wimbledon with his WIFE, Boyzone were ignored at Heathrow in favour of One Direction recently and Fans at a Stone Roses concert handed out free beer.

I'm still not seeing any news here. Is it just me?

Page 8-9

Tom Cruise V Katie Holmes


I just can't. Sorry. No words. (Unlike The Sunday People who managed LOADS, I tried to count but lost the will to live after 1,232)

Page 10-11

The Barclays Bank Crisis.

Perks up a bit, Ok, so this could be news.

Although it seems to that this article was written specifically so that the headline pun men could have some fun.

"Diamond is for never"

"No ducking or Bobbing"

"Don't bank on it"

2 pages, 3 headlines. you do the math.

Pages 12-13.

Sorry but I still have a migraine from looking at these pages.

VIP is it?

Rooney touching his knob, Jerry Hall 'Aving a fag, Miranda Kerr in sparkly leggings.


Page 15

(Kill me, please)

Cliff Richard is in talks to join The Voice.

I am starting to see something important missing in this newspaper.


Pages 16-17

An interview with the widow of Pc David Rathband. The first article I read all the way through by the way. I was sorry to see this tucked behind Helen Flanagans bikini, TomKats divorce and all the other crap.

(I can't read any more)

Page 19....................................................................................................

At this point I started flicking through. I really couldn't read anymore.

I briefly stopped at an interview with a woman who tried Beyonces 60 kcal a day Maple Syrup diet and ended up with an eating disorder wanting to kill herself, I glanced at the article about Denise Welch giving up drinking and I almost ripped out the page and wiped my arse on Natalie Cassidys column on page 31.

At this point I decided that I couldn't continue. Where was the NEWS? I was starting to wonder if it was even made of paper that's how far from being a newspaper this is.

I see more in-depth articles and features on blogs every day of the week.

There is absolutely NO journalism skills in this paper whatsoever, WHY do people read this? Is it escapism? (read 50 Shades of Grey instead) Is it just for something to do? It definitely isn't to read about world news is it?

Am I over-reacting here? Do I expect too much from a tabloid newspaper? Or are they just viewed as News Lite? Diet news?

Let me know.

Big Fashionista x x



  1. I got to the Abercrombie and Fitch but and was giggling too much to continue for several minutes ;)

  2. It's ridiculous isn't it. Get the Guardian girl x

    1. I can't bear to buy any newspaper these days. I still feel unclean that I had to buy this one!

  3. Haha! Brilliant! I despise them! They need to move away from the name 'news' paper and relaunch under something else more appropriate. Drives me bonkers! If you look down a carriage on the tube in the morning everyone is reading wonder the country is such a bloody mess!

  4. I absolutely TOTALLY agree with you here! Don't get me wrong, I'm just as nosey as the next person, but I stopped buying newspapers a long time ago for the very same reason - most of the content is utter tripe and, quite often, has no basis on the truth whatsoever.

    Sort of makes me wonder... Can I make a living by writing about things that aren't true and nobody particularly cares about? If so, then yeah, I'm pleased to announce that Bradley Cooper and I are getting married on Wednesday.

    You can see the wedding photos in one of the red tops later in the week.

    LilliesandLove xx

    1. Throws confetti and awaits the "Exclusive" ;-)

  5. I get a 'newspapwr' a few times a that my rabbits can shit on 'em.

  6. I can't remember the last time I read an actual newspaper... I do look at the front page when I'm in the newsagent and despair to myself quietly.

    I prefer reading the news online from all over the place, you can find the most bizarre things that way :)


  7. Bloody hilliarious. Serious that whole paper should be sued under the trade descriptions act and most of the journalists fired. Im sure people learn more about news and celebs from bloggers.

  8. I read this earlier and almost peed my pants! HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  9. Just come across this - so I am not alone in my thoughts about the gutter press. I have always thought that someone should turn up "Heat" so that it catches fire. Pull the trigger on "Loaded" and put us all our f our misery.

    More power to your pen...



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