Wednesday, 5 September 2012

Back to school bitching begins

Hear that?

Me either, Tis the sound of silence.

The schools are back (In your FACE Alice Cooper)

And this week has been FRANTIC, running around, from shop to shop,

Skirts, trousers, tops, shoes.............

Oh and I have bought some uniform for the children as well.

Forget the kids, it is all about the "school run mums" the "mummy mafia" I'm sure you know the type.

And there are always judging stares as you enter the gates, it is like attending London Fashion Week and being looked up and down by journalists for wearing last seasons Primark and KITTEN HEELS (Who knew Primark even had seasons)

It is insane, some of these women could make Simon Cowell weep and begin to doubt himself while some of the others got to the school in their PJ's to pick their kids UP

Even I bloody judge those lazy bitches.

The first day back is always a fashion show, it truly is, whether you think you have been sucked into it or not, you just can't help but be a little careful of what you are wearing. (By day three I will be lucky to walk in the school gates with brushed hair-take THAT haterz)

There will always be one mum who corners you and says

"Oh you look WELL"
(bitch if you mean fat, just say fat)

One who says

"Oh I LOVE that top on you, EVERY time you wear it I love it a little bit more"
(lady, you are lucky it is CLEAN and passing the sniff test, get over it-Fast)

and one who just looks at you sympathetically and says

"Rough holiday"
(No shit sherlock, it is 7.45, school doesn't start till 9am and I'm here tying my children to the gates. what gave it away?)

This time I have decided NOT to be sucked into the fashion parade. I won't.

(I will)

How about you?

Do you get sucked into the show? Or have you experienced the "mummy mafia" first hand?

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x



  1. Now I've stopped're bang on as usual. I however have cracked it this term. I am doing every school run in GYM GEAR. hair scraped up, sans slap, sucking stomach in all the way. It may take them a few months to notice I won't be getting any thinner cos I'mw NOT going to the gym five days week...but I am walking and jogging with a very small dog. So even if I'm spotted I can get away with aforementioned gym attire. Whaddya think of that? ;-) x

  2. I don't talk to mums. I drop my son off then bury my head in my kindle all the way back home. Not that they're nasty or anything (some of them are alright), I guess I'm just antisocial!

  3. Tee hee, I used to do the morning run wearing my pj's a pair of para boots and a long coat. Whilst holding a mug of coffee an having a ciggy (fab role model I am *nods*). I even got a refill when I got to the school by one of the teachers, I loved her an awful lot lol.
    Afternoon pick up, I'd be wearing whatever I felt like, occasionally I wore matching boots, not often though...

    I was the mum no one spoke to, I was FINE with that, the mummy mafia detested me which pleased me no end :D

    I am glad I no longer have the daily ordeal of the snotty looks and nasty comments though. Although slaying them with sarcasm was the highlight of my day sometimes lol

  4. Hee hee - but we all get sucked in at some point don't we! I've taken to dropping my kids at the gate and then making a run for it so I don't have to talk to any of them if I don't want to. Although this year I have a new car that IS bigger and better than the one cow's who wont talk to me so I am going to park it in front of hers so she cant get out of her place until I leave. Lowering myself to her standards? You bet I am!

  5. I just dropped mine off and you are so right! Preened mothers in full make up, little dresses and mega platform high heels. And they do have a look around and judge everyone else, don't they? Great post x

  6. LOVE this. I did a post about the dreaded Mummy Mafia over on my blog earlier this week too. My little boy is only 5 months old so I haven't had to face the perils of the school gate yet, but even at this young age I've still had run-ins with the Mummy Mafia in the clinic and whatnot.

    Rather than direct bitchiness, I tend to find that they're just completely aloof and unfriendly. Not sure which is worse.


  7. looool you got it hun, I have to be honest I fluctuate to not giving two hoots and scrapping hair back and throwing first thing to hand ( not pj's tho i wouldnt ever succumb to that, she says snootily but really its coz i either wear none or mismatching damn hormones) to actually planning the outfit the night before ( ouch ! ) even putting on some eyeliner and mascara and matching accesories especially for the school gates, which is all of 2 mins if i'm lucky, for people i barely know or give 2 shites about. when will i learn to not give in to being socially accepted. Never mind old leggins baggy top with flip flops tommorow i'm protesting xx

  8. Aw, and after yesterday's 'feel good about yourself' post too!

    We're all in the same boat though - the vast majority of those at the school gates have gone through childbirth, and whether that's the traditional way or through the sun-roof, neither is particularly glamorous - we're all the same at heart! There should be some understanding that there are times when you do NOT look your best.

    If a woman has gone through the whole birthing, feeding, sleepless nights, mopping up puke phase and come up looking fine and yummy, then good for her, it's real boost to your self-esteem to be able to make an effort when in public. However, there is no need to look down on someone who is still running around chasing their tail and unable to find time, money or energy to prettify themselves.
    You know, that thing about walking in another's shoes... :)

  9. Great post. I personally find those mum's very cliquey and as I am a working mum I get ignored on the occasions I am able to be there. I do feel rather sorry for the mafia mums - if it matters so much to them to look perfect to a bunch of other mums on a daily basis. Clearly not enough else in their lives to occupy them. I like the gym gear idea though I suspect I might get some horrified looks post baby number 2... ;)

  10. Do mums REALLY get dressed up to do the school run? I used to be a primary school teacher and even I didn't know about this. oh God, I've got so much to learn before next September.

  11. I feel sorry for the mafia mums who turn up looking like theyve just got in from the night before!! I applaud the real mums who worry bout kids first then sort themselves out after school. Hoorah!! Working mums have it toughest trying to stay smart AND snot and puke free before work. Smart is one thing but smart doesnt start with a T. :-P

  12. I was actually one my way to work earlier in the week, maybe tuesday, when I saw this lady dressed in a short pink tweed skirt and blazer. She was with her son and I thought she was a bit too dolled up to be dropping him off to school dressed like that - but now I I did not know there was some internal competition going on, I guess some things never change.

  13. It does pass - suddenly they are 11 and off to secondary school and pffffff gone, all the sideways looks and the comments...deep joy. xx

  14. Oh I'm the one they hate, but because I'm the only one in makeup and matching clothes!!

    Up here, you're a terrible mother if you've got up early enough to get dressed, means you're neglecting your children...!

    I don't care, I'm an outcast because I speak with a posh (southern) accent anyway.... and even now, people just love to mimic me saying "into claaaaaaas boys". *rolls eyes*.

    May as well let them mock my clothes too.

    S x


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