Thursday, 20 September 2012

Tits and balls,




I am a little worried, NAY I am TERRIFIED that like the dodo before it, soon there will be another extinction of a beautiful and rare species.

Now recently there has been a huge backlash against the beautiful and intelligent women of Page 3.

Now I love breasts, I do. I even have two of my own and while I do understand that this backlash had to come about, people are sadly forgetting a VERY VERY VERY important group of people whose opinions I am sure have been forgotten about.


When I saw the calls for Page 3 to be banned my immediate thoughts were,

"BUT WHAT ABOUT THE FOOTBALLERS"?


Are we not being really selfish here? We are trying to wipe out a MAJOR food group of the footballers and we are not feeling even slightly ashamed of ourselves?

If there are no Page 3 "stunnas" for them to knock about with, who knows what the footballers will get up to. They have done all the reality tv stars between them already haven't they?

(They will have to start showing Big Brother three times a year just to keep up with the demand)

I honestly think that we haven't thought this through hard enough, those footballers work damn hard for 90 minutes a week to earn that 50k plus, if they can't spend some of it on new tits for Page 3 models then what are they meant to do with it?

And let us think of all the nightclubs out there that will suffer because footballers won't feel the need to fall out of their doors and onto the red carpet with one on each arm. They will close at the rate of knots. Paparazzi will be reduced to instagramming kittens and their lunch and I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here will be down one contestant a series for the next few years.

There aren't even enough pop groups out there to take up the slack, Even The Saturdays are all taken now, although I hear one or two of Little Mix might be up for giving it a good go.

So now before you know it, there will be even more pop star/footballer celebrabies.
And no bloody paparazzi left to take their picks.

And all because we want to ban page 3?

Ladies, gents.

I urge you to think long and hard before voting to ban Page 3,

If you can't do it for you.


Think of the footballers, I beg of you.



Can you do that for me?


Let me know


Big Fashionista x x
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31 comments

  1. The usual excellent read, and a good point raised. This is an age where looks are unimportant, and brains and loyalty are everything. If Page 3 is to be abolished, think of those poor girls who will have to make their money the modern way, and work at something other than their bodies...what is to become of them, and us? I for one, am not relishing the floodgates being opened to these 'dollybirds' working at Poundland or the council.
    Also, manufacturers of frosted lip products, teeny tiny thongs and strips of wispy muslin may well go out of business!
    Implications people, implications.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I wouldn't worry about the poor footballers. They'll never ban Page 3.

    :(

    ReplyDelete
  3. Love it!!

    And I love the "is this a joke" comment ALMOST as much. That was a set up, wasn't it?

    ReplyDelete
  4. There are always the cast of TOWIE etc for them to fall back on I suppose. But it won't be the same for the poor dears.
    I'm off to buy a black armband.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Don't forget, there's always 'personal trainers' as well, isn't that what Carly Cole used her enormous brain for before she succumbed to a life of luxury and laziness?!

    ReplyDelete
  6. The first comment totally just out did you in comedy value.

    I feel like a terrible human and a fail of a woman for not minding page 3 :s. I'm just worried it won't end and people will ban porn then ill be left with no sex life and my own shit wank bank for company *sigh*. Not joking, this is a real worry :( xxx

    ReplyDelete
  7. I LOVE this post.

    Much love: http://razzledazzleandrocknroll.blogspot.co.uk/ If you fancy a follow or a nosey. xx

    ReplyDelete
  8. *heh heh*

    Those footballers could stop spending their dosh on getting waxed, tanned and fingering grannies and set up their own newspaper where 'every page is page 3' ;)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Think of the CV's that will get handed in.
    Work experience: getting my baps out
    going to clubs
    fake tan expert (getting not giving)
    .....


    I could go on, but I've been awake since 5am and I am shattttttered!

    ReplyDelete
  10. No-one will listen to their serious political commentary if they have to dress like the rest of us. I can't rest without knowing what Mystii, 21, from Loughborough thinks of welfare reforms, Boris Johnson's haircut, or the latest plans for traffic management on the M25.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Your post reminded me of the episode of Graham Norton's talkshow where Rob Lowe explained how in the 80s he used to use MTV as a mail-order catalogue for women. He'd call someone and say "that girl in so and so's video, can you get me her number?" and they would.

    To be honest, I don't have an issue with Page 3. I'm more of a capitalist than a feminist and so for me it's just using your assets for your own gain. If these girls are appropriately endowed and can make money for a while doing it, why not? It's not a lifetime career (hence the need to marry a footballer I suppose!).

    At the end of the day, it's boobs in a trashy newspaper. There are bigger issues in the world and we probably ought to worry about those first. Wars, world hunger, the collapse of the global economy, AIDs, those sort of things.

    And anyway, if you get rid of page 3 it would only be replaced with stuff about all the other tits in the media. We don't need that.

    ReplyDelete
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