Monday, 22 October 2012

Monday Rant

I'm quite getting into this Monday ranting malarky, I quite like finding things that I can store up to then let ooze out of me on a Monday. It's like lancing a festering boil, it hurts a bit, but oh the relief as all the poison floods out. (A beautiful bit of imagery for you there on a Monday morning)

So let us begin.

Last Monday saw the return of Made In Chelsea and it really didn't disappoint. Unlike TOWIE where if you appear in other programmes you are dead to them forever, it seems that MIC have welcomed back Spencer Matthews with open arms. Well, I say open arms, what I really mean is that they have welcomed the chance to script him as a MASSIVE BELL-END.

When he stepped out of the car and uttered the words "Matthews, Spencer Matthews" was there a single woman in the country watching who DIDN'T have damp knickers?
(Through pissing themselves laughing that is)

He's a twat, she's a twat, they're all TWATS.
(What time is on tonight again?)

Megan Fox has given birth to a baby boy I hear. It would be wrong of me to hope that she is now covered head to toe in stretchmarks and she finds it impossible to lose the baby weight. WOULDN'T IT? (Jessica Simpson took one for the team, Come on Megan, don't let me down) I just really cannot stand the celebs and film stars who appear 3 weeks later in their skinny jeans, I still wasn't even DRESSED three weeks after giving birth!! The Victoria Beckhams and Abigail Clancys of the world give normal women a bad name, I want Megan Fox papped eating biscuits, wearing crumpled clothes with sick down them, yelling, 'I AM SO FUCKING TIRED'.

DO it for womenkind Megan, do it for us all.

Also this week, the odious toad of an oxygen thief Nick Griffin tweeted out the address of a gay couple that had won a court case recently against the couple who refused to allow them to share a bed in their B&B.

Nick Griffin is a cunt, pure and simple. Now I know that some of you are offended by that word and for that I apologise, but Nick Griffin offends me far more than you could ever be by a simple word. How that much bigotry, racism and hatred can be shoved into one tiny little man is beyond me. The man must just fart hatred, and yet I still cannot find a single ounce of pity for him. I hope he drowns in his own bile and chokes on his hatred one day.

Also on my TV last week, there was a programme called My Tattoo Addiction. (Channel 4 obviously) This could have been a FANTASTIC documentary, I think it is really easy to get addicted to ink, I have 3 of my own (so far) but instead, Channel 4 decided to concentrate on the stupid muppets who get Aya Napa 2012 tattoo'd on their arse! and wankers covering girls names with scorpions on their FACE!!!! TYPICAL CHANNEL 4. What did they do? Ring a bell? Bring me your weirdos, your
freaks and your Miley Cyrus STALKERS!!!!!!

What a WASTED OPPORTUNITY Channel 4. WASTED (A bit like most of the participants actually)

and lastly, one of the biggest laughs I got this week was the Gangnam Style parody, "Eton Style"

Have you seen it? I watched it, I laughed, I watched it again, I laughed again, I watched it................ with dawning horror that one of those toffs doing the Gangnam style dance will probably one day be our Prime Minister.

Makes you pray the Mayans are right doesn't it?

So what do you think?

Is Spencer Matthews the next Daniel Craig? (Or is he more Craig David?)

Channel 4, Did you watch the Tattoo programme? Share with me your thoughts.

Is there anything that I missed this week you would like to have a rant about?

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x x


  1. I don't even know who Spencer Matthews is? I googled him. I'm still not the wiser.

    Love your description of Nick Griffin. Sometimes the simplest four letter words are all that's needed.

    Completely agree about the Tattoo programme. It just seemed a bit pointless. If it had been called "Idiots abroad, getting shit tattoos" it would have been more accurate and less disappointing.

  2. "I just really cannot stand the celebs and film stars who appear 3 weeks later in their skinny jeans"
    It's called lipo. And having a chef prepare your food/nanny raise your kids and a personal trainer. And lipo. x

    Genuinely - anyone from the crud they call TOWIE and MIC can do one. They are rancid, fame seeking whores with no talent and fake everything.


  3. Love all of this - You really had me at Oxygen thief...


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