Wednesday, 5 December 2012

Blog Rulez




So after Company magazine has released their "Blogger edition" today, it seems that a lot of bloggers are up in arms over the "Shitblogz.com" part of the mag.

And I'm not even going into them playing it safe, with the same bloggers that pop up everywhere, I'm sure they are lovely but there are a LOT of fresh voices out there that could also be heard.

So here for those that care, are MY blog RULEZ.


Firstly, be young. That is like TOTES important right? I don't care how you do it, but NO-ONE likes to look at wrinkles. It is what Instagram filters were invented for, if you are over 22. USE them. Capiche?


Secondly, bloggers, know your role in the world, stick to light fluffy pieces about fashion, pose prettily and hush your mouth. You know it makes sense. Play nicely bloggers and maybe we will throw a sparkly badge your way.


Check you are female. Coz male bloggers are nasty, and quite frankly, you smell.


Don't get above your station. You want to be Queen of the blogging world? How arrogant are you? Wanting to make your teeny online diary better? No sparkly badge for you.


Dress to impress. Because the only blogs that count are fashion ones, oh and make-up ones when we can't make the numbers. Oh and if you think you may be ugly. blog about shoes or something. no-one wants to see your face.


You want to EARN MONEY out of your blog?????? ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Oh bless you, you're pretty.


Follow my rulez and one day, just for one day maybe. you can write for a magazine for free.

Lucky you.




Big Fashionista



Any more rules you would like to add?


Let me know

31 comments:

  1. Since I changed my blog picture to the one of me with ombre extensions in my followers have gone up quite considerably.... Maybe this is a rule. You have to have mint hair, faux or not.

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  2. Great post and it shows why my blog is doomed to fail as I'm male and over 22, I'm not nasty tho. I would post a bit more here but I'm going to dash off for a bath so I don't smell any more xD

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  3. I'm doomed then.
    Overweight, nearly 42 and I have laughter lines ;)

    Not that I blog much anyway lol.

    LOVE the rules you made tee hee xo

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  4. *Goes off to buy new deoderant* ;-)

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  5. Dude you missed out the topknot, limp sidewards posing and amazing location shoots with a super expensive camera :-/

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  6. Here's another rule. Be as nice as pie to everyone on your way up in the blogging world, until you're popular enough to show your inner cuntishness

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  7. ahahahaha this is brilliant. Brilliant.

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  8. Thats Why I tried doing a blog as a 21 year old girl! Lots of hits, but then when people realised, the hits were taken away and I was sent to myspace :(

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  9. Great post!! Companies loss!
    I like Red anyway!!��

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  10. Be skinny as a stick, be a bitch, be blonde! ;)

    OR U'LL GET HATERZZZ!

    Hahaha. But well said!

    ~Hannah xx

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  11. - Ombre or dip dye hair in a precision top know (tweeted as a pic with caption 'omg i'm such a state today')

    - Apple everything. If you're not taking pictures on your ipad, loading them onto your macbook pro to edit then sending then to your iphone to instagram, you're a nobody. After all, you cannot write things on the internet without £5,000 of shiny toys.

    - If you're a male blogger, you better be gay. Because if you're straight and interested in grooming and fashion that's (quote) 'like totes awks'

    - Be sickeningly nice to everyone, but NEVER LET YOUR FACE KNOW IT. Especially in outfit posts.

    - Buy a DSLR, but tell everyone else they don't need one.

    - Deny having any motivation for free stuff. THEN blag all the free stuff you can, sell it on ebay, drink all the free booze at events and demand a goody bag. Because you blog for the love of it. Not for freebies.

    - It's about the content not stats. Thanks PR company, so why do you want a full stats breakdown then?

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  12. Don't worry about spelling or grammar - as long as you're pretty enough, no one cares that you don't bother to spellcheck! x

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  13. Oh and one more. You must love expensive scented candles. Because y'know, electric lighting ain't no burning wax.

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  14. Brilliant. But I'm scared to look at Company in case I'm in there... at my age, I'm *actually* dead!

    Jxx

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  15. lol another funny post hun love it!! im laughing hard at lodz

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  16. Repeatedly ask when you start getting the free stuff, Make duckface a lot while wearing oversized Zooey Deschanel glasses and make sure you never, EVER forget to instagram a meal. Or a cup of coffee. Or an apple. Or dust. And don't let a silly thing like a paragraph get in the way of a nice post about a very expensive faux-vintage teacup birdcage floral thing. No need to learn the difference between Your and You're either, nobody will notice because they'll be too busy looking at your fabulous lashes.

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  17. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

    fucking hell Kellie, I fucking love you.

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  18. Great post Kelly! I guess I was doomed from the start...almost 43 bald, 5'4'' mannnnnnnnnnnn!!! I did take a shower last night, so I do not smell toooooooo bad today!! LOL Always enjoy reading what you come of with!!! I am comfortable in my own skin, and that is what countttttttttttttttts!!
    Jim :))))

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  19. I die.

    This is PERFECT as usual.

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  20. This. Is. Incredible. I die!!! So much love for this!! xxx

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  21. You must live in Londpn else you won't sound cool!

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  22. Be 19, live with your parents, spend your student loan on designer handbags, get the Michael Kors watch, wear impractical shoes, be incapable of parsing anything correctly, be unaware of sentence structure, be whimsical at all times, wear clashing patterns designed to give a migraine to any passing normal person, take photos of everything and post them to tumblr/instagram/facebook and twitter all at the same time, call everyone babes, think youtube subscribers are the same as "fans", live your entire life online, wonder what the hell to do with your life when you turn 22 therefore over the hill.

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  23. Haha love this! Everyone deff seems to hit the nail on the head; ombred hair, messy top knot, scented candles, michael kors watch, blag all the free stuff you can, shiny apple toys, under 22, and if you're ugly blog about shoes :)

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  24. I'm 27 with a wardrobe full of primark and take photos of my iPhone. I'll never get featured in a mag. Doomed.com still going to blog cause I enjoy it. :)

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  25. *big sigh*

    *throws out the word "Bandwagon" in the direction of "Company Magazine"*

    *dies a little inside after reading the Company Mag forums which now have people saying they'll follow each other and begging for likes on Facebook*

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  26. I think you just summed up what everyone was thinking. Amazing post :D x

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  27. Hahaha I love it

    I need to get the magazine to see what all the fuss is about. I'm probably guilty of doing quite a lot of 'typical blogger' things but unfortunately I don't have the time to turn my loves of cats and photography via my phone into a job (or the desire, for that matter) xoxo

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  28. Please don't forget to use the words 'super' & 'cute' alot...especially 'super cute' together.....and even tho you are British use the words gifting/gifted..and Fall ...Oh and Season instead of series

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