Tuesday, 4 December 2012
Dear Jeremy Kyle.
Dear Jeremy Kyle,
I think that I may need to bring my family onto your show.
Since my sister met her husband, things have changed.
Before my sister got married she worked, (a little) but now she just lives off state handouts, she doesn't pay rent, and I have never seen her in the same clothes twice!! (Dodgy or what?) Her husband is ok. but he disappears quite a bit and no-one seems to know where he is exactly. He says he is going "on a mission" and we all know what that means Jeremy, don't we? Don't we?
Her new family are a bit strange to say the least Jeremy, I think they would make great daytime TV. The grandad is one of those old geezers that just says what he thinks and hang the consequences, in fact the whole family is dysfunctional. (There's even a step-mother, cliche or what?)
The reason that I am coming to you now Jeremy, is that my sister is now pregnant.
Now obviously there is no doubt of parentage, (unless the baby comes out ginger. That would be AWKWARD) but I am just really worried about them all.
What kind of future will that baby have?
AND what will happen to me now Jeremy???????? Especially if it's a girl???????
I will no longer be the most watched female in the world will I?
(Although I suppose I could get a book deal out of it, all about being a fabulous auntie couldn't I?)
Much love. I look forward to your call, we can discuss my best side.
Pippa Middleton x x x