Thursday, 31 May 2012
So Alexandra Burke was last week reported to be devastated that notorious womaniser Jermaine Defoe has cheated on her and has apparently kicked his sorry arse to the kerb.
You go girlfriend.
What took you so long anyway? Even his ex girlfriend warned you that he was a cheating lying dog (That's some reference) but it seems that the lure of a bad boy is strong in this one (My very bad Yoda impression)
She even sang,
"The bad boys, are always catching my eye"
Bloody hell love, just because you sing it, doesn't mean you have to live it, (Same goes for you Adele)
Why do some women always think they can be the one to tame a man, to change him? To be the female equivalent of a quick trip to the vet to be neutered (Doesn't stop them wanting to lick their own testicles does it?) to stop him from wanting to hump random strangers legs (and more)
The thing is, even with his track record of tripping, falling and landing on someones welcoming vah-jay-jay I predict that Mr Defoe will have no problem getting himself another girlfriend or willing bed partner. I await the next edition of Heat magazine or Hello magazine with (bored indifference) baited breath to see the obligitory interview with Mr Defoe and A.N Other woman, both saying he is a changed man and wil...........(Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz)
Alexandra, think of it as buying an expensive wardrobe of clothing, you fully invested, it didn't fit, you burned the clothes (pictures, teddy bears and jewellery) and now you (hopefully) realise that they weren't to your taste anyway. Lesson learnt.
For GODS sake please don't start singing about it though, Adele is taking a couple of years off but she will be back lady, and THOSE shoes aren't going to fit you...
Stick to your little poppy type numbers and I'm sure you will be OK.......
I'd tell Alexandra to stay away from those bad boys but I don't think she'd listen do you?
Is she a bad boy magnet? or just unlucky?
And what is it about the attraction of a bad boy that makes some women want them more instead of running away screaming?
Let me know
Big Fashionista xx
Wednesday, 30 May 2012
I have documented many (many, many) times my hard fought battles with my weight, I am a yo-yo dieter, I have been on this merry-go round so many times I think I get a free spin next time. My weight goes up and down like Katie Prices knickers and I was truly sick of it.
I wanted a diet (Healthy lifestyle plan) that didn't involve being all about food, If I tell you not to think about a giraffe in a bow tie, you are going to think of a giraffe in a bow tie aren't you? (sorry if you now carry that image around with you all day but it is better than imagining Katie Prices knickers isn't it?)
I'm bored of weighing, counting, guilting, and feeling bad. I can diet, I do it well, but like the saying goes, when I am good, I am very very good, when I am bad you will find me face down in a tray cake (or something like that)
So when Sandra from Thinking Slimmer contacted me and asked if I would like to try it HER way I was actually interested in finding out more. A Slimpod? Listening to a CD for just ten minutes a day? I have to admit that at first I thought the only way that would work is if I taped it over my mouth.
The CDs came, (I also got a Fitpod) I listened, I relaxed, I carried on with my daily routine, and when I went to eat my dinner that night I found I couldn't finish it, and each day since although I have been dishing up the same portions as I always have, I have found that I am stopping before I get too full up. There has been no uncomfortable feeling of fullness or just eating for the sake of it.
I've found as the first week progresses I seem to subconsciously making better decisions about food, I don't crave anything naughty because so far this week I haven't thought about food until it was time to eat. I haven't had an afternoon lull, or sugar craving, I have been eating breakfast again, without feeling that it is a chore and I have been RUNNING again as well!!!! Last week I did the Canary Wharf 5k Jog and raised £175 for The British Heart Foundation.
Check me out in my Jenni Falconer XPG running gear from Debenhams!!!!
I'm going to try to take a picture each week in the same gear so that I can see the difference in my size,
For me Thinking Slimmer is working so far because it seems like I'm NOT thinking if that makes sense. I am visualising good things, but I am not constantly thinking about food.
I actually feel at the moment as though I have stepped OFF the Merry Go Round of dieting. It is a lovely feeling I must admit.
And in case you were wondering..........
I lost 5lb this week and an inch off my waist AND hips.
No calorie counting, no weighing, I just ate. it really was that simple. Yes I was really pleased with the weight loss but for me it was more the deep sigh of relief that my world ISN'T governed by food.
And for me this week that has been a lovely world to be in.
You can find out more about Thinking Slimmer at www.thinkingslimmer.com
I would love to hear your thoughts (and hopefully congrats on my weightloss-LOL)
Big Fashionista x x x
Disclaimer, this CD was provided by Thinking Slimmer for review purposes but as always all my opinions and views are my own.
Tuesday, 29 May 2012
I apologise in advance as this is probably the longest blog post ever written, basically it started off as an idea for a book, but with yesterdays news about a naked man eating someones face off, i thought it wise to get it out there now.
This is the Big Fashionista Zombie Handbook.
Will it stop you getting eaten? God knows, but I really enjoyed writing it.
I would hope that we will get some idea of when they will first strike, I would hate to go to bed one night and then wake up the next morning to empty streets and burnt out cars, it seems like a waste of a good cliché to me. The same goes for any hospital visits which involve having my eyes bandaged for a while, the minute everyone starts cooing over the light show, I’m out of there.
Once the Zombies have made their intentions known, now is the time to decide what sort of role you are going to play in the zombie fight back. You can be a hero, you can be a hider. You can be a leader or a follower
So this is pretty much as far as I got with my handbook, if you are still here reading I applaud your stamina.
Do you have any tips or tricks for everyone to avoid getting munched on by Zombies?
Let me know
Big Fashionista X X
Monday, 28 May 2012
In case you have missed it this week there has been a huge ball of flame in the sky that has the ability to not only turn people bright red but also brings people out in a dark shade of JUDGE.
And neither are pretty.
I am overweight, (Size 18 if you were interested) and according to some people out there in social media la-la land I have a choice in the sunshine..........
I either cover myself up, or stay indoors, because for a lot of people out there, the mere presence of either me or other overweight people strolling around in the street like we own the place is enough to put them off eating altogether.
Well excuse ME, but if I want to waddle to Greggs for a pie or four then I bloody well will. Ok, so that might be a slight exaggeration (2 pies, MAX) but you get the general idea.
The mere THOUGHT of an overweight person walking around in shorts it seems is enough to send Twitter into meltdown. The sheer audacity of it.
"THERE ARE FAT PEOPLE IN SHORTS EVERYWHERE" I have heard people wail. It's alright love, it's not catching you know. If you brush up against me in the street you won't suddenly suffer an incubation period of about 2 weeks and then suddenly blow up like an angry puffer fish. Itn just doesn't work that way. (It took me bloody ages to get to this size and now you are worried you will catch it just by making eye contact with me? Cheek)
This is the deal, I am a size 18, if anything I am feeling the heat MORE than Miss Size 12 who is melting her arse off in her shorts so consider yourself lucky that I'm not considering stripping off completely. (last time I wore a bikini at the beach Greenpeace tried to tow me back into deep water)
I will wear what I damn well choose. Size 6,12,18,24,32 I seriously do not care what you wear to keep cool, so why on earth do people feel the need to judge others. If you want to wear shorts, wear them. I don't even care if you have Jedward patches on each butt cheek (I do, but I am trying reeeeeeeeallly hard not to)
And I will let you into a little secret. I strolled to the shop today in shorts that are too small for me (GASP) I had to use a hair bobble as a button extender.
AND I had slightly stubbly legs too.
If anyone has an issue with that, here is my number to let me know, it is 0800-I-DONT-GIVE-A.......
Wear what you want. When you want. How you want.
And if you are out there and of the opinion that people who are overweight should cover up because their size offends you?
Let me know, because I have ways of offending you that have nothing to do with my size.
Honestly, let me know.
Big Fashionista x x
Friday, 25 May 2012
It's hot, we don't have time for a build up and let's be honest, most of you scroll past the words to see if I've managed to procure you a naked pic of the weeks Nom or Vom anyway so without further ado.
This weeks Nom or Vom
Ladies and Gentlemen
(Did I make you all scroll for long enough?)
So, what do we think?
Nom or Vom
Let me know
Big Fashionista x x x
Thursday, 24 May 2012
It is Thursday night, I'm sweating like a Turkey on Christmas Eve and WHAT am I doing?
Watching the Eurovision Semi-Finals!!
These aren't even the finals! it is the SEMIS!
I am entranced, full of self-loathing and seriously debating what has happened to my life.
Yes I know, Eurovision is a joke. We don't win, in fact we are treated like the victims of playground bullying by the rest of Europe and their voting tactics. It is like being picked last for PE. We know it is going to happen but we play anyway. Hell we even pay for the bloody ball don't we?
But I know all of this and still I watch!! On Saturday night I will be dunking myself in the full on cheesefest that is Eurovision, and moaning when we come absolutely nowhere (My money is on Norway with their Adam Lambert lookalike)
How about you? Are you watching?
Will you be watching Saturday?
Let me know
Big Fashionista x x x
Wednesday, 23 May 2012
So today is the day. Tonight I will be jogging (crawling) 5K for The British Heart Foundation in Canary Wharf.
Why did I agree to do it?
(Because I'm STUPID?)
Well why not? I have flirted with running for a long time now. I am never going to be a runner, but I really enjoy moving my body (oooohhh-eerrrrrrr missus) and I want to be fit and healthy and find walking and jogging a great form of cheap exercise, if I can raise some money for a great charity then all the better.
The British Heart Foundation is a charity close to my families heart and I will always support them. I
f you would like to support me then I have set up a Just Giving Page
Even the smallest amount helps, (and makes me feel like I'm moving my fat arse for something other than just being a stubborn cow who should've said no)
I really would love your support, even if you can't donate, feel free to share this post, leave me a comment or tell someone about it.
I will let you know how I get on tomorrow.
Big Fashionista x x
Tuesday, 22 May 2012
When I attended Cybher the other week, while I enjoyed talking to all the sponsors who were there I felt a huge draw towards The Leather Satchel Co who actually provided the special gifts for everyone who attended.
(If I'd have stayed at their station any longer they would have started counting the satchels)
I got chatting to the people behind the company and had a lovely chat with Keith who is one of the people in charge and I was really interested to hear more about the company.
In case you haven't heard of them, The Leather Satchel Co do exactly what they say on the tin.
Leather Satchels aren't a fashion accessory, they are an integral part of every wardrobe, Seasons and fashions change but at anytime you can feel comfortable and stylish and the thing about a really well made leather satchel like the ones made by The Leather Satchel Co is that they improve with age (um, unlike me. boo hoo)
I was genuinely interested in hearing more about the company (and licking the bags) and Keith very kindly agreed to me emailing him over the last week and answering any questions that I have.
What drew my attention (apart from all the pretty colours) is the fact that The Leather Co is a British family run business. I love seeing British companies making products that are something to be proud of. And trust me when I say these bags are something to be proud of, the workmanship of these bags are second to none. (They certainly withstood all the drooling everyone was doing at Cybher)
The company was started in the 60s by Stephen Henshaw who travelled all over the world learning his craft and picking up new skills as he went. It was at the time of the World Cup in 1966 when he was asked to make a 1920's style satchel, he kept them on sale from that moment on. but only in two colour ways. It was later on that year that he was asked to produce a large number of satchels for a private school and it was this order that catapulted the company from a pavement and home based business into a Liverpool-based workshop with its own premises.
(See, this is interesting stuff isn't it? This is why I love companies with a history, it is much friendlier than faceless companies with boring generic products)
It was from this small beginning that The Leather Satchel Co began to grow in to the company that they are today, With 25 different colour leathers and bags in five different sizes The Leather Satchel Co can create artistry in satchel form in any way that you like. They also offer a bespoke service so that you can customise your satchel for your individual needs. (Like as in, I NEEEEEEEEEEED one)
Would you like to see some pictures?
Can you understand why so many people were drooling over these beautiful bags? Yes you can buy a satchel for less money on the high street but you won't be purchasing a hand-crafted, British-made high quality bag that will last for years OR comes with a FIVE YEAR guarantee like these bags do.
It isn't just a bag, it is an essential wardrobe STAPLE for gods sake.
I know, I've stroked them. (drooled on them) (ok, licked them)
Why not go and take a look for yourselves.
and let me know what you think of these bags.
Do you own one?
Were you at Cybher and purchased your one there?
or are you looking to buy one in the near future?
Let me know
Big Fashionista x x x
Disclaimer; This is not a PR post, just a post showing genuine pride and support for a British company that is producing high quality, handcrafted products.
Monday, 21 May 2012
Well either Britain is having a "How many flags can we raise all at once" competition or something is coming up which is meant to make us feel all patriotic.
And seeing as I didn't get forty press releases in my inbox last week about any flag competitions and sadly I am drowning in Jubilee crap, I am going with the patriotism angle.
Seriously, I get it, we are meant to be very very proud that our queen has not succumbed to a cold winter or starved to death in an NHS side ward. And truly I am proud that there is one OAP that our country hasn't let down. But I kind of think I am missing the point.
Disclaimer; I am going to be celebrating the Jubilee, (Don't quite see why the kids need a day off school tho-Just sayin) It isn't the Jubilee I take offence at it is the way people try to make money off the back of it with cheap commemorative tat.
Is there a major event happening in the country? I have a great idea, let's stick a flag on it and call it a jubilee something or other....
Even Kingsmill are getting in on the act I hear, changing their name to Queensmill.
(I'm sure they will make some bread out of that................. I'll stop now)
I just don't understand why we have to go so overboard with the commerative crap. I am still reeling from the Wills & Kate condoms I (CAME ACROSS sounds wrong doesn't it?) stumbled upon when they were getting married.
I have seen Queen bobble heads, red white and blue M&Ms, toilet rolls with the Queens head on!!! (I shit you not :-D )
Is nothing safe?
What's next? White and blue tampons? (think about it?)
Anything that has a surface, large or small is going to have a flag stamped on it and it is going to be rebranded as a Jubilee version. Screw it, I may as well rebrand myself as a Jubilee version (Still me but bluer-is that even possible?)
I'm sorry but sticking a flag on everything that doesn't move out of the way quick enough isn't going to make me ooze with patriotism and love for my queen, it is just going to make me hate everyone that little bit more and make me want to move to a small country without a flag.
Although the Jubilee people had better enjoy their time in the sun as soon as it is all over there will be a quick change around and everything is going to be rebranded for the Olympics!
I can't quite see how Kingsmill are going to swing that one can you?
So come on everyone, share with me the best or worst Jubilee commerative crap you have seen so far.
Who has pushed their rebranding to the limit?
and does anyone even know of a country without a flag? (or an Olympic team for that matter?)
Let me know
Big Fashionista x x
Saturday, 19 May 2012
When I say hair-raising, I mean it in a good way. I'm a busy little blogger, Not only do I churn out some pretty awesome blog posts daily I am also a mum of three children who seem to think that my only role in life is to serve them. (sigh, don't they know I have Jeremy Kyle to watch?)
So for me hair cuts are pretty thin on the ground. When I was asked when I had last had my hair cut, they might as well have asked me when was the last time I had a dry weekend!!! I really couldn't remember.
So when I was asked if I would like to have my hair cut at Eleven Hair I have to admit I leapt at the opportunity. Eleven is nestled in the heart of the bustling hub of Oxford Circus just behind Bond St. When I looked at the website I was slightly concerned that it would be "cutting edge" and "so hip it hurts" but when I entered the salon I was immediately struck on how calm and friendly it is.
It was like a oasis of calm in a sandstorm.
My stylist Rebecca didn't even flinch when presented with my mop of hair and listened to me while I explained exactly what I wanted. she snipped, brushed, blow dried and left me with a style that is exactly what I wanted.
The whole ambience of the salon was fantastic. I was concerned that they would be very bang on trend being so close to Bond St but the whole feel of the salon was as if it was my local hairdressers who I had just popped into for a trim. Calm, friendly and extremely professional. it really was the WHOLE hairdressing experience.
Want to see some pictures?
Of course you do
My lovely stylist Rebecca,
This was the before shot. (Please excuse the wonky cleavage)
and after. LOOK, I have style!!!!!! I have swish and I look like I've just stepped out of a salon.
The view from behind.
Now this style transformation happened a couple of weeks ago and I am still finding it so easy to style. it just falls where it is meant to, which is perfect for a busy mum on the run who still wants to look good.
Eleven is a fabulous place to go, not for a one-off hair cut but regularly. it has a friendly vibe and I felt comfortable from the minute I walked through the door. My stylist Rebecca gave me some great advice regarding looking after my hair and I will hopefully be returning soon for a trim.
Eleven is at 11 Blenheim Street, Mayfair, W15 1LL
you can find out more information at www.eleven-hair.com
Take a look, I had a great time and I know you would too.
Have you been to Eleven?
What do you think of my transformation?
Let me know
Big Fashionista x x
Disclaimer, this hair cut was provided for review purposes by pr. Many thanks
Friday, 18 May 2012
Hello Friday, my apologies again for lack of Nom or Vom last week. Real life got in the way (I know, shock horror. A REAL LIFE? Who knew)
So today has to be special doesn't it?
I will try my best.
Do you remember when you were at school and you doodled the surname of your favourite crush onto your school books along with your own name?
(Cue blank looks, Ok it MIGHT just have been me)
Well right now if I had a school book it would totally have "Kellie From The Script" on it.
(What do you mean from The Script isn't his surname? REALLY?)
Today I bring you Danny from The Script as this weeks Nom or Vom
What's not to love here? He sings, he looks good. I would.
So the question, as always
Danny from The Script
Nom or Vom?
Let me know
Big Fashionista (from The Script)
Thursday, 17 May 2012
The clock of death? Battery pulls every 7 hours or the thing throws a bitch fit of epic proportions?
Yeah I don't miss that at all.
But when all those iPhone users out there were advising me to sell my soul to Apple they neglected to mention just a few little issues........
Now as I don't like surprises that don't come in boxes and involve me saying, "For me? Oh you shouldn't have" I want to spare all of you out there that may be thinking about making the switch, the pain and suffering that I have experienced while making the transition from BB to iPhone.
Shit my iPhone does.
Firstly, be under no illusion, an iPhone sucks battery like a twenty quid hooker looking to make four hundred pounds in an hour. Fast, efficient and you don't even notice it happening.
The battery of an iPhone is obviously powered by the blood of a Mayfly
It starts off the day on a high and by tea time it is DEAD. (If you are lucky) I charge mine up so often that sometimes it just walks itself to the charger and plugs itself in. (well it would if it had any battery left)
All that technology and no-one thought of making a battery that would last longer than a relationship on Made in Chelsea? (Team Jamie btw)
I could go down the whole autocorrect route, but cancel my subcription coz I am SO over those issues. Autocorrect keeps me on my toes and stops me from just pressing send. (DOUBLE CHECK people, DOUBLE CHECK)
It is when it completely disregards words that SHOULD be in the dictionary and chooses to replace them with another word that makes no sense at all.
I'm sorry you are i'll, get better soon.
and what is with the iPhones stubborn refusal to admit that SO is even a word?
It SO is. I use it a LOT. So (SEE) stick it iPhone.
And what is it with the screen glare on an iPhone? Considering it has been raining since I got it I hadn't noticed.... A bit of sunshine today and the screen goes as shy as me in a swimming costume!!!! (painfully shy and difficult to look at)
One last thing that annoys me with an iPhone? it has illusions of being a teacher, that is the only explanation I can think of that it underlines things in red pen that it doesn't like. I sometimes expect it to grade my texts and the occasional phone call that I make on it.
(It dials as well, who knew computers could be so clever?)
So that is the shit that my iPhone does,
What else have I got to look forward to?
Apart from Siri being an absolute bitch who can never understand my accent unless I tell him I love him!!! (Another needy male in my life, great)
Let me know
Big Fashionista x x
Wednesday, 16 May 2012
See that James Martin? He's a fun guy............ (Fungi? Fungi? Gets coat) and he is on a one man mission to get us to all eat more mushrooms, (the minute they make wine out of them James, I will be on it like a tramp on a sandwich, I promise)
Now mushrooms aren't that sexy, but roll them in James Martin and I start to see the attraction. So if James is cooking them then I am loving them.
We watched drooling while James cooked mushroom soup, pork with a creamy mushroom sauce and mushroom and chicken livers on toast as well as a cheeky mushroom omelette. (The drooling was at the food, honest)
I have to admit that I do like mushrooms, and I was quite surprised to learn that I have been over cooking the poor little buggers for years. James (first name terms, POW take that) advised that they only need to be cooked for a very short in a very hot pan until they are golden. See, you learn something new every day.
(I also learnt that I do NOT like chicken livers, and that sometimes spitting isn't possible and you just have to swallow- this is all one observation by the way, in case someones mind is wandering)
Overall it was a really great day and I learnt a lot of great things about mushrooms. As I am not really a food blogger I won't be posting the six new ways of cooking with mushrooms here but let me give you the link www.moretomushrooms.com Go take a look for recipes such as pork escalopes with mushrooms juniper and mash, Chicken and mushroom pie and Mushroom soup.
I've tried them and they are definitely worth whipping up.
What do you think?
Is James Martin a fun guy?
Does anyone know where my other hand was resting in the top pic?
How jealous are you that I cuddled James Martin?
Do you like mushrooms?
Let me know
Big Fashionista x x
Tuesday, 15 May 2012
I have a skin tag under my arm which is basically annoying the frick out of me at the moment and I started to wonder,
How the hell do men cope with testicles? (See what happens when my mind is allowed to wonder off unsupervised)
Now this skin tag is very little, it doesn't swing around (minute it does I'm off to the Dr) and thankfully it isn't hairy. (erm, I'm not painting a good picture here am I?)
and yet it is bothering me constantly by catching on things and rubbing.
It isn't often I have sympathy for the fellas but I think this time I am going to have to pat you on the back (not on the balls) and applaud you for your patience and um, ball handling skills.
I have to admit that when I think of men wearing Y-fronts it never really conjures up a sexy look does it. (Unless you are Mr Beckham, don't even attempt it fellas) But I do get it now.
Y-fronts are simply ball bras aren't they?
Just a clever way from stopping you sitting on your own testicles. (Trust me, without a bra I have similar issues :-( )
Although testicles are basically a design flaw aren't they? I get that they should be further away from the body so that the sperm doesn't overheat and all that, but why then put them in a place where you can A, sit on them, B, accidently squash them while walking or C trap them in a zip.
My apologies to my male followers who are currently crossing their legs (carefully I hope) and have a tear in their eye.
Wouldn't it have been better to put them somewhere safer? Like the middle of your back, or perhaps nestled under an armpit so that you could keep them safe. Dangling around as they do is just asking for trouble isn't it?
If I was a guy I would be wearing a protective cup constantly so that I didn't do them any damage. (I'd also write my name against a wall but that is another story for another time) or I would walk around cupping them protectively with my hands screaming get back, get back, to anyone who dared to walk within three feet of my balls.
Men I applaud you, how there aren't more of you out there with one missing through injury I really don't know.
When I go to the Doctor about getting my skin tag removed is anyone interested in me finding out about a group discount?
Let me know.
Oh and men, what sort of damage have you done to your soldiers in the past, let me know.
Big Fashionista x x
Monday, 14 May 2012
I have never been shy about the fact that I am EXTREMELY shy. I mean I can projectile vomit at the mere thought of being in a room with people that I don't know (I will leave you with that touching imagery to do what you will)
But recently I have made the conscious decision to get myself out there and actually meet people. My blog has turned two this month and I can either carry on as I am or really make the most of doing something that I love.
So I agreed to speak at Cybher UK.
Now if you follow me on Twitter you will know that I have a habit of, how can I put it (chatting shit?) oversharing.
So I have been very vocal over the last couple of weeks about how nervous I was about doing this. (cacking myself I think is how I so succinctly put it in one tweet)
But from the minute I walked into 8 Northumberland Ave on Saturday I had a huge smile on my face.
(A leather satchel will do that to a girl)
We all signed in and I was happy to see that we were all given name badges not only with our blog names on but also our Twitter names. Brilliant idea, (Some of you ladies have awesome boobs by the way)
Everywhere I looked there were ladies in exactly the same boat as me. (stroking their satchels going they are soooooooooo pretty)
The venue was perfect for a convention, there was a central area for coffee, tea and meeting the great companies that were there such as Thinking Slimmer, The Leather Satchel Co and Palmers UK and then four different rooms where all the different talks would be held.
We all met in the ballroom to listen to the opening talk together, which I must admit a lot of which went straight over my head. But hey that is the whole point of a day like this isn't it? To learn.
Then for the rest of this incredible well organised day it was a smorgasbord of different experiences and talks that catered for everyone. If you wanted to learn about Podcasts you could go and listen to The High Tea, Portrait photography was the lovely Mario and if you wanted a casual laugh and some informal questions then you could have come to the Ask A Blogger session with myself, the lovely Tara Cain and Louise from Sprinkle of Glitter.
What I really liked about Cybher were the breaks in between each session where you had a chance to meet lots of other bloggers. (Not as scary as I though it would be) I managed to put lots of faces to names and I didn't scare anyone off (I don't think) with inane chatter. (or vomit, always a plus)
What did I learn at Cybher?
I learnt that I have a LOT to learn.
In a way I think I am quite naive about blogging. I truly do it for the love of the writing. Of course if someone wants to pay me to write I'm not going to wring my hands at them and bleat about my integrity (I want to buy a satchel) but for me I think I have spent the last two years just floating and writing and I need to work out what I want to do.
I panicked about not having a niche for a while but I think I am my niche. my voice is my niche and that will never change or be diluted for anyone. (LIES, I'm open to negotiation.... I jest)
Another thing that I have learnt this weekend is that I LOVE to talk. I really enjoyed my session at Cybher and could have stood there for longer, I learnt as much from the other ladies on the panel as I hope the people in the audience did.
And most importantly I learnt at Cybher to have faith in myself. we come from all different walks of life and approach blogging in different ways and with different results but whether we were there to speak, to learn or just to be social and meet up with like-minded people we ALL took away from Cybher something that we can use.
And I think I have discovered that I can do anything I put my mind to.
and THAT is a damn good thing to learn.
Were YOU at Cybher or did you follow the hashtags on Twitter?
What did you take from the experience? Has it changed how you look at blogging at all?
Let me know
I'd love to hear your thoughts
Big Fashionista x x
Sunday, 13 May 2012
A wise man once wrote,
I say Britain,
you say talent
Britains got talent
It's the DJ Talent
(Whatever happened to him anyway?)
You guessed it, last night was the final of Britain's Got Talent and unlike in the recent Local Elections people were listening closely and weighing up their voting options.
Social Media was alight and there was more outrage than an episode of Question Time.
A BLOODY DOG!!!!!!!
A dog has been voted Britains most talented? Oh my DAYS, How will we survive? Surely the world will now stop spinning on its axis and the dawn of a new ice age is upon us?
This is the thing, as with all the great TV reality shows. The only reality that we see is what we are allowed to see.
I could go on for hours about Camera angles, stories in the papers being released at just the right times, the order they go on the stage. even how they show the contestants performance in the round up.....
But we KNOW all that, we do. We just choose to ignore the fact that we are just along for the ride and as voters or even just innocent bystanders we are being taken on a "JOURNEY" ourselves to where we are needed to be. (Led around by the nose if I'm being impolite)
I don't fight it any more.
I just roll with it, it's easier that way.
And much better for my blood pressure.
But now it is over and there is also no Take Me Out for me to sneer at while loving secretly!
How will I survive?
TOWIE you say?
Tonight you say?
I will be on that like a tramp on chips.
Thats reality tv right?
Am I being cynical?
Is Uncle Cowell just a generous benefactor who is in it just to find new talent?
Will Arg and Gemma EVER get together?
Let me know
Friday, 11 May 2012
Thursday, 10 May 2012
Dear Men of the world,
Today I am imparting some wise advice, grab a chair, scratch your balls and PAY ATTENTION.
Yesterday the Metro reported on a
Now allegedly he had gone to a party and kissed another girl and this was his way of trying to get her to accept his apology.
Firstly Arsenal? Really? Dude why?
(Sorry, I digress)
Firstly, Sweetheart I wouldn't forgive you for kissing another girl at a party even if you stood outside Arsenal wearing HER skin as a shirt and her intestines as a bow tie.
Secondly, Mate, say it with FLOWERS!!!! FFS, why do you think flowers are sold? So blokes can buy them to apologise with.
She may not accept them, she may throw them in your face (This is why I never recommend roses, scratched corneas are never attractive) but buy them anyway.
As a football fan I can understand what you were trying to do. You have messed up with your girlfriend and the thing that you think would humiliate and embarrass you the most is something that would hurt YOU. ie the Tottenham shirt.
But MEN of the world this is where you fall down, This guy Luke McQueen was once more thinking about HIMSELF. (A bit like when he tripped and fell open mouthed on another womans face) If he thinks any woman would think of this as a romantic gesture, well he doesn't know women at all does he.
I'm a huge football fan, If this was my boyfriend I would question his morals EVEN more after this.
Your football team is your FIRST true love. If you can betray THAT and wear a rivals team shirt then snogging another bird is nothing, Hell you probably make jumpers out of kittens and shoes out of baby skin.
THAT IS HOW LITTLE I THINK OF THIS GUY.
I don't actually know what offends me more,
The fact he kissed another woman
or wore the team colours of his bitter rivals.
(It's a close call I admit)
Men, if you do something wrong. Say sorry, then if the woman wants you to do something ridiculous to prove how sorry you are. Roll with that.
Don't make the massive gesture that you THINK she will want.
You only make yourself look like a twat.
Mr McQueen, I don't know if your girlfriend has forgiven you.
I know I wouldn't.
Would YOU forgive him for wearing a Tottenham shirt?
I mean kissing another woman and THEN wearing a Tottenham shirt.
Let me know.
And football fans, what would you have had to have done to make you wear a rival shirt?
Let me know
Big Fashionista x x
Wednesday, 9 May 2012
So today I drew the short straw (or stepped on the teachers kitten or something equally horrific)
I feel as if Karma has ran up behind me, tapped me on the shoulder, kissed me on the cheek and then bit me fully on the arse.
WHAT, I hear you ask can I be doing today that is so so bad?
I'm helping out on a school trip.......................
with a class of 5 year old devil spawns. (You know, perhaps I am not suitable child accompanying material after all)
Oh god knows why I agreed to do it, (in fact I may have volunteered) I think the painkillers must have been fully absorbed or I had a full belly (of wine maybe) but when I was asked if I was available, I said I WAS!!!!!! (and this is why I need a responsible adult with me at all times)
Now it seems I cannot get out of this school trip. Did I mention we are exploring transport, there will be a trip on a bus, a train and the Thames Clipper (It is going to have to be an Instagram kind of day) so instead I am just going to have to make the most of it.
and for me this can only mean one thing.
(Not hide and seek on the tube, that gets a bit messy-especially when you hide OFF the train)
I'm not even kidding, I do love a packed lunch. I am just a small child. I am even going to be stealing my eldest daughters packed lunch box to put it into. (Hello Kitty in case you were wondering)
(Quick question, would it be wrong to decant wine into a Ribena carton? I won't use the straw-I'm not a tramp)
Ok, ok, so the wine is not an option.
Breezer? (They are fruit based aren't they?)
In my packed munch box today I have
My packed lunch box ROCKS.
I swear I never had it this good when I was at school.
I am going to be the envy of a shit load of five year olds with a sandwich and an apple (including my own child-oh well, thems the breaks kid)
Surely there has to be perks to going on a school trip and for me packed lunch is it.
What would you have in your packed lunch?
and if you see a 5 year old in tears. Hold on to them. I may be winning at hide and seek again.
Big Fashionista x x
Tuesday, 8 May 2012
It's true, I'm blocked.
Blocked up harder than my toilet that one ti..................... (I'll leave that there)
I've sat here for hours just staring at a blank screen while watching BGT and even Corrie. (bad times) I've read the papers, I've painted my nails (Twice) and yet I still can't think of anything to write about.
I could blog about nails and all the different nail art I have been doing lately but I think that there are a lot of fabulous nail bloggers out there that can show you how to do it so much better than I can so I'm going to leave it to the professionals.
I AM going to be blogging about my stunning haircut that I had at Eleven last week I just need to transfer the pics to my laptop.
I will be bringing you a review of a pillow sometime this week too. I just can't seem to find the words to describe it.
So I am STUCK.
I need a footballer to trip and fall with his cock out onto a prostitute or something so that I can sneer at him in print.
Or a large company to do something ridiculously stupid so that I can bring it to your attention and we can all laugh together.
But they haven't. So I am floundering.
(Stupid non-tripping non-cock-out footballers)
What I won't do is not write, so if to get over my Bloggers Block I have to write about Bloggers Block-So be it.
Just leave me some words of encouragement below so that I don't feel totally crap and have tumbleweed rolling through my comments section.
Oooooooooooooh, I think I know what I'm going to write about tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!
Friday, 4 May 2012
So today my blog turns TWO!!!!!!!!!!
Usually I'd say now would be the time to watch out for tantrums and tears, but lets be honest, I've been rocking that look for the last two years and see no reason to change.
I was SO happy that my blog birthday fell on a Friday because Nom or Vom is possibly one of my favourite days of the week for posts.
(Don't even try to argue, you know you love it)
Whereas usually I ask for peoples suggestions for Fridays Nom or Vom today, as it is my BIRTHDAY (and no bugger sent flowers) I thought I would pick a smorgasbord of previous Nom or Voms to spread themselves across my page so that I can lick the screen without having to avoid the ones I don't like.
So without further ado let me introduce you to my favourite Nom or Voms from the last two years.
Jesus, anyone would think it was YOUR birthday!!!!!!!!!!!
Did I forget to inform you of the near nakedness rule of todays offerings?
(whoops, sorry about that)
Thank you to EVERYONE who has read, commented or followed my blog over these last two years, it really does mean a lot to me.
wanders off to find cake.
Big Fashionista x x